How To Make A Character Lame: The Punisher

by Brandon

Not all comic books are equal.

We fans all know that. Some comic books are just better than others. Many times it is an isolated incident. But there are some instances where a character is treated poorly over a long period of time. Sometimes is laughably bad. Sometimes it can be downright insulting to the fans.

All superhero books don't necessarily make the title characters out to be great. In fact, many longtime comic book characters have had their fair share of lame moments. One of the longest suffering characters to the disease of inequity is Frank Castle, The Punisher. Here are the five worst turns for poor Frank Castle.


Make Punisher Black
Yeah. Marvel hit some pretty bad lows in the 1990s. There probably isn't a better example than when Marvel turned Punisher black. It sounds wacky now, but someone at Marvel had to think, "This is freaking great!" at the time. It went down like this...

The Final Days story arc had gone for seven issues, including the seventh part which was a conclusion of sorts. Frank castle had been pursued by the Kingpin's sinister agents even into prison where a group of thugs led by Jigsaw carved Frank's face ala the aforementioned Jigsaw. Frank manages to escape prison, but he was still being harassed by a group of Kingpin's goons. At this point, any sensible vigilante would know that it was time to change his appearance. Frank hooks up with a drug addict underground plastic surgeon. They are apparently more easily accessible than one might imagine. Franks task her with making him unrecognizable... and she does.

I think Frank was just as shocked as anyone. What follows is a stereotypical and humorous romp through any preconceived notion white folks had about the treatment of blacks in America in the 1990s. What's the first damn thing that happens in issue #60 when Frank gets on the road? That's right: he gets pulled over in a gross miscarriage of racial profiling. Of course, Frank doesn't want to play by their rules. One cop asks him, "What's the matter, boy? Cat got your tongue?" When there is no answer, another cop whacks Frank in the back, saying, "Maybe the coon's got his tongue!" Frank proceeds to beat some ass, but the righteous ass whipping that follows is not carried off without some help.

In the 1990s, if you were going to be turned black, you could only have a few other black superhero friends. So Frank had the Falcon, Blade, or Luke Cage to choose from. Of course, if you wanted to be the baddest m&%^#$ f%^&*# on the block, the winner had to be Luke Cage. Awesome. Once Cage gets in on the fight and spirits Punisher away from the scene, they go back to Cage's hood. What do they find there? A drug dealer pushing his product on a kid playing basketball. Yeah... Marvel P.C. at its best. By the end of issue #60, Marvel readily declares the team-up as being between BLOOD BROTHERS.

But don't worry. He got better. By issue #62, apparently the mafia couldn't stand him being black and forced him back into his normal digs. I mean, come on, white bread America couldn't take a black dude waxing drug addicts and criminals. That type of righteous indignation can only be reserved for white Vietnam veterans.

Anywhere a reader steps in the four issues dealing with the black Punisher he or she is bound to find something laughably objectionable. This was an instant WTF classic. Despite my heavy trading of comics when I was kid, I always held onto these issues from when I bought them back in '91. Recommended for the sheer Borat-style laughs you will get.

Make Punisher Kitschy
The Punisher was everywhere in the 1990s. If your book didn't have Punisher in it, then you pretty much sucked. One of the oft mentioned stories that featured Punisher was the Archie crossover. The 1990s were rife with ill-conceived crossovers. That's part of their charm, I suppose. But thankfully we've moved past the need to have crossovers and events book that are meant to only move books instead of telling decent stories. Right?

The story takes place in idyllic Riverdale, U.S.A. The Punisher is in pursuit of a criminal that looks oddly enough like mild mannered Archie Andrews. Hilarity ensues as Archie and this nefarious lookalike intertwine in mesh of zany fun and good humor. Punisher does pull a gun on Archie. You don't get to see that everyday at Riverdale High. No, sir.

For added kitsch value, the Marvel edition of this featured a die cut cover. Nothing says awesome crossover like an enhanced cover. For the record, I own both versions. I'm not ashamed to admit that.

Make Punisher an Angel/Demon Thingy
The decline of the Punisher in the early to mid 1990s is a cautionary tale of too much of one thing really is too much. Most people remember that Spider-Man and Wolverine were appearing all over the Marvel Universe, but Punisher was also everywhere during this time, like the Archie crossover mentioned above. Once this overexposure and lackluster revivals completely panned out, there was really only one option left.

Kill the Punisher.

Of course, this being comics, that only meant he was going to come back... in the employee of heaven. Or was it hell? I forget which one, thankfully. The two miniseries that spawned out of this wellspring of creativity(one solo, one with Wolverine) were just terrible. They are pretty much universally accepted by all Punisher fans as the low point in a career of some pretty shitty stuff. Garth Ennis thankfully cleaned the slate with Welcome Back Frank by ignoring any developments during that dark time.

Recently, I did manage to see copies of the first miniseries at a local shop for $5 each. This retailer assumes that you are a chump.

Make Punisher Blow Up Cars in the Shape of a Skull
I have go tot be honest with you here: I actually like the various Punisher films. I'll let that sink in a minute.

Finished? Good. Knowledge is power and now that you have been informed, we can continue.

The year 2004 saw the first attempt from Lion's Gate to revive The Punisher movie franchise (if one can call it that). I can admit that there were some dumb scenes in all three Punisher movies, but the dumbest of all is the final scene of this Thomas Jane fueled film. Punisher came off as more The Manipulator throughout this film. He plotted long and hard to get back at John Travolta's character. I mean, really hard. Not only does Punisher end up waxing his guy in the final showdown of the film, he places a bunch of elaborate bombs around a car lot in order to make a skull shaped firebomb in the explosion. Really. He does that.


Yeah... I just hope all of his enemies were flying that night, otherwise it might have been hard for them to get his oh so subtle message. It would have been a waste of all his hard effort for them to be just toking up or shooting someone while he sent his fiery warning to the underworld.

Make Punisher Frankenstein
The thing that most Punisher fans like about the character has nothing to do with the fantastical world he inhabits. Most fans enjoy the Punisher because he isn't fantastical. He's real. He was never washed in gamma radiation. Nor was never bitten by an irradiated insect. As a child, Frank Castle wasn't rocketed to earth as the last survivor of a dying race. And he sure as hell wasn't born with mutated genes. The Punisher was born out of a terrible situation in which his family was murdered, with his experiences in Vietnam painting an important backdrop. He never needed superpowers to be who he was. He didn't need other worldly improvements.

We Punisher fans just like him the way he is. Punisher doesn't need to change.

Detractors are quick to point out that comic fans are just too stuck in their ways and don't allow for change. Let's be frank: there is change and there is stupid change. Changing Punisher's race, the tone of his books, or his super powers are all certainly changes. Stupid, idiotic, and absolutely rotten changes, but changes nonetheless. Changing things up for the sake of it isn't really innovative. It can be downright harmful to the character.

If Marvel feels the need to change the character, so be it. But is it necessary to change the fundamentals of the character? Any Punisher reader can already paint the idiotic "reset button" story that will have to be done because this change can't last long. But it is unnecessary. Punisher is getting a little long in the tooth. If we need a refresher, retcon his experiences from Vietnam to Iraq or Afghanistan. Don't wholesale what makes the character great.

But it looks like some major changes are in store for the Marvel Universe version of Punisher. That's too bad because Rick Remender seems to be a great writer. For at least the first few issues of the new relaunch it appeared he actually got the character. Turning Frank Castle into Frankenstein isn't exactly proof of that now. It's zany and crazy, but not in the good way. If anything, we fans are either going to be getting more Kitschy Punisher or a horror infused Punisher. Either way, we fans will just have to wait and see where our favorite character is going to now.
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Summer Reading, pt. 5

by Brandon

The penultimate article of my summer reading series has arrived! That lusty picture to the left isn't here just to fit our monthly T&A quotient! No sir, we have more taste than that around these parts.

My monthly shipment of new comics arrived Monday afternoon and I was stoked to read up on all the things I'd seen floating around the vast Internet the past few weeks. The first things I read were my Marvel titles. I'm a shameless Marvel Zombie, I can admit to that, but I would be a liar if I didn't say that some of the Marvel books I have been reading have been a little lackluster lately.

But was I disappointed or elated this month? Read on.



The Invincible Iron Man #15
What can I say about the "World's Most Wanted" arc that I haven't already said? The plodding storyline continues on into part 8. I don't mind a longer story if there is actually a story to tell. But Invincible Iron Man has become a book where Tony Stark is on the run... and that's pretty much it. This story could have easily been condensed down, but because it has to fit within the framework of the Dark Reign non-event event, we get a seemingly unending stream of escapes and near-misses. Tony Stark may be losing his mind, but I'm losing my patience. Do something here, Fraction. Anything. Please?

Frank Castle: The Punisher #72
Most of the Punisher Max arcs are serious and grounded in a harsh reality that is hard to take at times. But Garth Ennis wisely broke up the intensity every now and then with a humorous arc. Victor Gischler deftly follows in Ennis' footsteps here by giving the reader fun, yet characteristically violent romp with Frank Castle in "Welcome to the Bayou." Stylistically, this reminds me of the film 2,000 Maniacs on some level. There isn't a supernatural angle working here, but the idea of Podunk rednecks in the Louisiana Bayou trapping outsiders for their own nefarious purposes is ridiculous and entertaining all at once. There are several laugh out loud lines here, surprisingly delivered by Frank Castle. Goran Parlov, Punisher Max veteran artists, provides complimentary art to the outlandish send up. The appearance of the gangbanger in the back of Frank's car at the end of the issue is sure to throw a new wrench into the hectic story. This book is highly recommended if you want to find a solid book with dark humor.

Punisher #7
D-listers unite! Ah... Rick Remender apparently has plans to turn Frank into Frankenstein in his upcoming "Rest in Pieces" arc, but for now readers have to settle for Frank icing the D-List All-Stars the Hood has assembled to take out Punisher. The thing that makes Punisher work so well in the Marvel Universe is that he was very different from your average costumed bear. He didn't deal with the fantastical all that much despite it being right next door. He was detached from the spandex set, but had a purpose. I just don't see that purpose coming out of this incarnation of Punisher. Frank Castle gunning after the D-Lister All-Stars just doesn't seem right or appropriate for the character. This just doesn't feel right. If the preview images are any indication, that feeling of trepidation is going to stick around for a little while.

Ultimatum #5
Speaking of feelings of trepidation, the final issue of Ultimatum finally hit the shelves last week. The verdict? Ugh. To be fair, it was a lot better than I expected. Though it seemed like half the book's pages were splash-pages (I wish I were exaggerating), Loeb has set up an interesting environment for the post-Ultimatum Ultimate universe. Let's all just forget the fact that he had to commit character genocide in order to establish this setting, but it worked. Mutants are on the run and heroes everywhere are dead. A vacuum has been created story wise and that can be fertile ground for storytelling in the near future. But was it worth it? Loeb has been criticized up and down, and rightly so, for his wholesale butchering of the Ultimate Universe. There are too many cooks in the kitchen now and with any luck he will be exiting out through the back. With Millar, Bendis, and Ellis at the helm for the Ultimate Comics relaunch, perhaps fans can expect better and brighter days ahead for the Ultimate Universe.

Ultimatum Spider-Man Requiem #2
The story here was solid, but like the previous issue, it seemed more like a rejected story from the regular run. J. Jonah Jameson was a great choice for narrating this story, but the narration doesn't have the weight it should have. Hulk meets Spider-Man, they fight, and Hulk shows a human side. You can find a thousand Hulk stories out there like this. Why was this one so special? Because Spider-Man was there? Because a busload of kids got saved? Come on. Ultimate Spider-Man can do better than this. Maybe it will in the future, but for now these last few issues of volume one have done nothing to add to the great stories that came before it.

X-Force #17
This beginning of this issue disappointed me some. Messiah War was more dud than stud, and here we get transported back to the climax of the previous arc t wrap things up there. It was a bit confusing for me to remember what had happened a few months prior to this and why I should care. The Leper Queen climax wasn't even a climax... it just kind of ended.To quote the actual book, "boom." I'm not terribly impressed with that particular framing device, but I'll live. At least I hope I do. Things get messy quick for the team when they get back. The pace of the book is frantic and that works well within the scope of what is going on at the UN and on the streets. Any hope of this team being kept a little secret has to be vanishing fast if the pages of this issue are any proof. By the end of the issue, this title was back into my good graces with its action and frenetic pacing.


X-Men Legacy #226
This issue marks the beginning of a new era for X-men Legacy. Rogue's team barely has a chance to breathe before being thrust into the actions of the Utopia crossover. Though the issue wasn't a bad read, it seemed like Rogue, Danger, and Gambit spent the entire issues putting out little fires instead of actually focusing on the main blaze. Like Elvis, Jesus, and Santa Claus, they were just everywhere. It was like Mike Carey got ADD during the writing of this crossover. There is a lot going on around town, I'm sure, but a more focused approach could help flesh out this book. And this book has been very focused in the past year.

Uncanny X-Men #513
I'm not going to mince words here; I think Fraction got moved to the big leagues a bit too quickly with Uncanny X-Men. I know I've mentioned it before, but Uncanny X-Men should scream UNCANNY EFFIN' X-MEN! This does not scream that. This barely whimpers it. This issue finds the uncanny X-Men wacthing the action... on television. What? This is UNCANNY EFFIN' X-MEN! Where's the larger than life action? Instead, we get a lot of scenes with mutants we don't give a rat's ass about. Adam X? What rock did they find that loser under? Trust me, we x-fans don't give a shit about Adam X. I know I was kind of hoping his ass would get handed to him by someone big like Ares. Maybe his head will get smashed in or ripped in half. I don't know, but it would be cool. Let's work on that, guys.


I'll be back in a few days with the final article on my summer reading habits. I'll be reviewing the most recent issues of Fables, Savage Dragon, Batman & Robin, Detective Comics, the various Star Wars titles, and Conan. Until then...

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Summer Reading, pt. 4

by Brandon

There are three essentials for my summer vacation; relaxation, napping, and comic books. Fortunately for you, I just talk about comic books here. My Summer Reading series continues with reviews of Iron Man, Punisher, Ultimate Spider-Man, Daredevil, X-Men Legacy, Squadron Supreme, Captain America: Reborn, The End League, Star Wars Legacy and Knights of the Old Republic. About half of the books hit, whereas the other half missed. Find out who performed above and below expectations by reading on!


Captain America: Reborn #1
I haven't been keeping up with Captain America at all. I know he was killed a few years ago in the Civil War crossover. I know he's coming back. What do I care, right? A few of the Bad Genious guys were talking about this issue the other day and the method for Captain America's return just sounded so incredulous and out there that i just had to read it to believe it. They were correct; Captain America was hit with some type of magic bullet that made him unstuck in time. This was a pretty big "WTF" moment for me too. From all accounts, Brubaker's run has been pretty grounded. This magically delicious approach to bringing Captain America back just feels wrong. The issue was decent enough, but the series as a whole is not worth keeping up with for $3.99 a pop.

Daredevil #119
Daredevil's life continues to reflect some Bizarro-esque emo song. We find Matt Murdoch whinny here (suprise, surprise) as his alliance with Kingpin becomes stickier than he planned (surprise, surprise). I feel a strong sense of deja vu that all of this has happened before. I think Kingpin has become a "no-fly zone" for Daredevil writers for at least another 100 issues. Every Kingpin story has seemingly been done before. These Daredevil and Kingpin stories practically write themselves now and that's not a good thing. Wilson Fisk is being used in the upcoming PunisherMax series. Let's hope Jason Aaron finds a better way to use the Kingpin character because at this point he's pretty much a time killer.

Invincible Iron Man #14
With this issue, the "World's Most Wanted" story has stayed past its welcome. How long can we read about Tony being on the run? How long can we watch Norman Osborne harass the no ironclad Pepper Potts? How many Iron Man costumes does Tony Stark having lying around to wear now? Don't get me wrong, this title is expertly written. Of the titles I've read from Matt Fraction, this has been consistently his best. Salvador Larroca's art is superb as well, much improved over his days in the X-Universe. However, this Dark Reign business in general just seems to be chugging along with no end in sight. I can see Fraction scratching his head as he comes up with new ways to to make Tony run due to some editorial mandate stating that Iron Man has to continue to be on the run while Dark Reign plays out for the rest of the calendar year. The "hero on the run" story has been done quite a bit in the last few years and this offers nothing new to the concept.


Punisher #6
The Hood really has it out for poor ol' Frank. Can't a vigilante just kill the bad guys and be done with it? Apparently not. The Hood resurrects a whole gaggle of d-list villains with the charge of taking out Frank Castle, your friendly neighborhood Punisher. Reading a comic where Punisher is forced to take out d-listers is not really my idea of a great Punisher comic book. I'm sure someone, somewhere, is excited by all these crap villains being resurrected. I hope the one Basilisk fan out there creamed his jeans. But for the rest of us, plowing through the d-lister source book provided at the end of this issue was just torture. I'm sure Frank will come up with all sorts of inventive ways to blow away these chumps, but why does it matter? The Hood can presumably just bring them back again. Kind of makes you wish for the golden days of Frank acing crack dealers, doesn't it? Like Iron Man, the writing here is solid and the art is great. But I just want something more, something better for Punisher. Garth Ennis brought about a revitalization of the character. It seems that goodwill is going to be gambled away on the hope that people want to read about Punisher interacting with people who wear capes and funny tights. Anyone who read Punisher under Ennis know that's just not the case.

Squadron Supreme #12
My prediction a few weeks ago about this series ending on a thud was correct. There was so much potential here for a good story, but that was all wasted. The original Squadron Supreme, the characters we all cared about, are pretty much ignored for much of this issue. Instead, we get to revisit the lame characters Chaykin created in the first six issues that no one, and I do mean no one, cares about. Those characters that do remain become powerless, rendering this universe pretty much dead for the foreseeable future. To add insult to injury, Ultimate Nick Fury is still trapped in this universe with no real resolution as to how he gets out. I hope Ultimatum will provide a satisfactory answer. In teh final analysis, this series just served to highlight the failure of Marvel and J. Michael Straczynski to get their act together and publish a decent end to this series. An ending that these characters deserved.


Ultimatum: Spider-Man Requiem #1
I promise this won't turn into my usual anti-Ultimatum rant. Of all the issues to come out of Ultimatum, this first issue of the two planned Spider-Man Requiem was the best thus far. Granted, this issue was a flashback issue featuring a fun story where Spider-Man helps Tony Stark out when Hydra decides to bust into his office building. As per usual, Bendis was on his A-game with this character. For all of the perceived faults Bendis has in his writing, there's no denying an electricity when he writes this title character. It's evident to the reader that he enjoys writing Ultimate Spider-Man stories and that the character works best when not involved with soul-crushing crossovers like Ultimatum. Bagley and Immonen also turn in great art for this issue. It's sad to think that Ultimate Spider-Man may be MIA from his own title in the coming months, but if the creative team can get back into the groove, Ultimate Spider-Man will once again become the premier Ultimate title.

X-Men Legacy #225
Mike Carey expertly puts an an end to the long Xavier Legacy arc. I've enjoyed this titles Xavier-centric focus in the last couple of years. Mike Carey has made Legacy one of the more thoughtful and well written X-books while exploring the theme of Xavier's redemption. This issue works as a lovely conclusion to that and offers a hint as to where the series will go from here. Xavier shows he's no louse by evenhandedly invading the Acolytes' hangout and defeating them without much of a fight. Professor Xavier is kind of a lame character, but Carey reinvented him as a brainy powerhouse who is not to be trifled with. It is my hope that this isn't the last we see of Professor Xavier in this type of context. I would hate to see him float back to his old digs of being the dead weight of the X-universe. As this chapter closes on Legacy and the Rogue chapter begins, one can't help but feel a sense of wonder at what Carey has accomplished. Kudos to Mike Carey. I hope we'll see more great stuff out of this title in its second chapter.

The End League #8
Damn. This book is still ending, isn't it? With every issue that comes out of this title, I want more. There's just so much going on in this title that it can't possibly end next issue. It just can't. Clones of Astonishman have captured Soldier American and Blur Gil and are attempting to find the Hammer of Thor. A team of heroes rush to get the Hammer of Thor before the Smiling Man picks it up. Alas, it appears that all engines are go for the final issue in #9. The pace of the storytelling is picking up, which is fine, but I hope everything gets a satisfactory conclusion next issue. There are a lot of plot lines floating out there. How can they possibly be wrapped up without leaving the reader feeling cheated? I don't think Remender can do it. So, um, Mr. Remender, please come back as soon as possible to this book as soon as possible. Please?


Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic#42
The moment many KoTOR fans have been waiting for finally arrived in this issue. The rogue Jedi Knight Revan, who eventually adds the title of "Darth" out front, makes his appearance here. We get a small, but important origin story for Revan here as related to the reader and Zayne's gang by future Sith Lord Malak. There is a killer fight here between Malak and Mandalorian Rohlan that has been boiling up for a while. The gears of war are4 just getting started, and with appearances by Revan and Malak here, the reader gets a sense that things are about to go from bad to worse for our fair adventurers. Miller turns in a solid, action-packed script that many fans have been begging for since the first issue of the series. There's no hyperbole involved there either; go back and read the earliest letter columns to find people begging for Revan to show up. I think this appearance will only ramp up demands for more Revan, especially as the video game Star Wars: The Old Republic promises to not finish the story set up in KoTOR's 1 & 2.

Star Wars Legacy #37
Legacy continues to be not only one of the best ongoing Star Wars titles out now, but ranks amongst the best ever published. Why? This issue exemplifies all that is right with Legacy and all that works with a good Star Wars story. Cade Skywalker continues to walk the fine line between scoundrel and hero, mixing equal parts of Han Solo and Anakin Skywalker seamlessly. We find Cade leading the crew of the Mynock on a mission to rob Imperials. We also find ample amounts of intrigue within the remnants of the Empire. While the galaxy at large does not know the true fate of Darth Krayt, buzz around the Empire has all the Moffs in a tizzy. Add in the appearance of Bounty Hunters at the end, and you have a fun read for any Star wars fan. It's a simple equation; Skywalker + scruffy looking scoundrels + Bounty Hunters + Sith + Imperial Forces = great Star Wars story. Legacy has great writing from John Ostrander that is backed up by consistently great art from Jan Duursema. These two creators are woefully ignored when it comes to "great" modern comic book runs.
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Panelology

by Brandon

Welcome to the latest edition of Panelology. I've been neglecting this column for a few weeks now, but it should be back into quasi-regular rotation now. What's been happening in the world of comic collecting? Besides the fact comic books are now officially too damn expensive, not much. Many companies seem to be pulling their punches in order to reveal some "big" items for the San Diego Comic Convention going on right now. Marvel are promising something big at today's convention. Who knows what it could be? It may even live up to the hype too. Maybe. But that's for another time and another column. This week, I stay focused on $3.99 comics, bid farewell to Ultimatum, discuss changes in Frank Castle land, and I report on my continuing education into DC Comics.

Singing the $3.99 Blues
Paying $3.99 a pop for your fix of whatever title getting you down too? I'm starting to feel it despite Mail order Comics having a great discount on books. The oft-grumbled about hottest trend in comics looks like it is here to stay for the long run. I've got to start seriously looking at my pull list for some fat to cut. The Ultimate Books are going to have to prove themselves to me once again after this dreadful Ultimatum business (more on that below). Uncanny X-men is wavering quite a bit these days with Matt Fraction's decent, but not over-the-top writing on that title. The same goes for Fraction's Invincible Iron Man; just how long can this "Most Wanted" story drag on?

One title I know that isn't going to make it is Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep. I am confident that this book is a goner from my monthly reading list without having read the first issue. How do I know this? This book from Boom is a good idea. What's not to like about bringing Philip K. Dick, arguably one of the best science fiction writers of his time, and his stories to the comic book medium? It's a natural fit. However, directly adapting the book word for word is not a good idea. I liked the concept at first, but at $3.99 an issue on the newsstand, I found that is isn't worth it. I pay $2.99 an issue through Mail Order Comics. That's still $71.76 for the entire twenty-four issue run. That's a ridiculous amount of money for a straight up adaptation of a book I bought in 1996 for five bucks.

Ultimatum: The End... and thank God!
Last week, Marvel released an ominous image promoting "The End" for the Ultimate Line. The date for the image was 7/29/09, the same day the final issue of Ultimatum hits the stands. The image set off speculation that someone would be meeting their doom. Fan consensus is centering on Wolverine right now, though others believe Magneto might be another plausible candidate. After all, Magneto has become quite a bit of a bastard since the storyline of Ultimates 3 involved knocking off his daughter Scarlet Witch. Some fans have even speculated that this could be the Ultimate version of M-Day since no Ultimate X-title has been announced since the revamping of the Ultimate Line. Having a title like "The End" does tend to send people into a bit of speculative tizzy.

Big whoop, right? It's not as if Ultimatum hasn't had its fair share of gruesome deaths. Who cares if they are going to kill anyone at this point? Anyone who cares what is happening in the Ultimatum books right now should pretty much leave their fanboy or fangirl I.D. card on their way out the door. The way characters have been treated and killed off in this series has been borderline insulting to fans who have kept up with the Ultimate Universe over the last nine years. I don't mind retooling the line. That is Marvel's prerogative. However, it needs to be done in a way that makes sense and doesn't slap fans in the face. I think fans of the Ultimate Universe need someone to blame for this poor storytelling choice. For some reason, Brian Michael Bendis and Mark Millar, founding fathers and creative heavyweights of the line, have somehow remained blameless in all of this.

Instead, the blame has fallen to Jeph Loeb. I hate to put all the blame on Jeph Loeb. This was a team effort, but he works so well as a lightening rod right now. Any fan wishing to cruise through any comic book message board can find anti-Loeb threads aplenty. I don't like or dislike Loeb. As a creator, his work often doesn't raise a blip on my radar screen neither in a good or bad way. He and I just don't cross paths often in my comic buying patterns. But let's face it, Ultimatum has been a stinker of a story from day one. He could have chosen an infinite number of ways to deal with retooling the line. The fact that he felt the need to wipe out half of the characters was wrongheaded. But that's what we Ultimate fans are stuck with; useless carnage and ineffective storytelling. The end can't come soon enough. I hope the new beginning finds the Ultimate Universe far removed from the business of Ultimatum.

Punisher Changes
Marvel also seem to be in the business of shaking things up for Punisher both in the Marvel and Max Universes. Punisher Max, or Frank Castle: Punisher, or whatever it's being called these days is about to be rebooted as PunisherMax. That's right, PunisherMax. No space between those words is necessary because, you know, that's cool. Despite the exceeding lame title, the creative teams looks kick ass. Jason Aaron will be lending his writing talents to the rebooted title, while Punisher-fan-favorite Steve Dillon will be handling art duties. I couldn't think of a better creative than this for the Max title. I have actually really enjoyed the rotation of writers the Max title has seen since Garth Ennis left, but I think the title needs a bit of stability in terms of direction. A stable creative team will go a long way in bringing back some of the fans who may have given up on ol'Frank when Ennis left. Plus, Aaron intends on introducing the Max versions of Kingpin and Bullseye, which sounds great. This could revitalize the Max title.

Over in the Marvel Universe, Rick Remender's Punisher title also appears to be going through some changes. In a press release Tuesday, Marvel revealed that "Rest in Pieces", or "R.I.P." for short (get it?), will be the next story arc in the ongoing Punisher series. Not familiar with it? Oh, you know the series I'm talking about. The one where Punisher has been relegated to taking on/out D-List villains no one cares about? Anyway, the "Rest in Pieces" promises to have Punisher put through the ringer by promising to change his life FOREVER!!! I know, I know. Marvel Comics aren't know for their advertising hyperbole. But there it is. You can check out a Marvel Q&A session with Rick Remender here. This sort of thing just smacks of the 1990s angel/demon storyline. And things were going so well for Punisher lately. Before becoming the D-Lister paradise, Remender started the series off strong. Like many titles in the Marvel Universe now, it has gotten too bogged down in this Dark Reign business to really be effective.

DC Education Update
My education in DC Comics is still ongoing. In terms of my buying habits, I'm still relying on the back issue bins for much of my re-education. Recently, complete runs of Captain Atom, Vigilante, Booster Gold, and Blue Beetle have found homes in my welcoming long boxes. I've found most issues of those comics for less than buck each, which is killer. I can get a stack of old school books at least four or five times higher than my modern books for the same price. Not only are they cheap, but they are providing some good reading time too. If you can't tell, I'm digging 1980s DC. These comics aren't mind blowing or anything, but they are a lot of fun. Next on my 1980s DC reading list will be Marv Wolfman's Teen Titans from the same era.

Just because I've been trolling the back issue bins for DC bargains does not mean that I have ignored modern DC. I've been checking out the Batman reboots and have enjoyed them thus far. Batman, Detective Comics, and Batman & Robin have all entered my buying habits for the near the future. I haven't added them to my pull list, but if I can find them on the newsstand at Books-a-Million I'll pick the issues up. Booster Gold is still a lot of fun even if the premise is wearing a bit thin. I'm avoiding the Blackest Night titles, but positive buzz may pull me into buying a trade down the road.

Help a fanboy out, though. Any other DC recommendations I should check into while I'm in the mood?



The end for now!
That's it! I should be back later this weekend with more reviews in my continuing Summer Reading series. Panelology will be back next week with a review of all the big time news out of San Diego.

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Panelology: Married... With Comics, pt. 2

by Brandon

The tables have turned today! On Tuesday, I interviewed Jenn about our upcoming nuptials, her perception of my geekiness, and how the move in together will impact my beloved comic book hobby. Jenn puts on her game face to interviews me about my fanboy tendencies.

Jenn: I can understand reading comic books is an enjoyable activity for you. What I don't understand is the collecting part of it. Can you explain why that is so important to you?

Brandon: This is a chicken and egg question. Which came first; the comic book reading or collecting? For a long, long time, I shunned the "collector" label because I definitely did not enter this hobby thinking that I wanted to simply possess 6,000 comics. I was a reader, and avid reader, which I think was odd for someone reading comics in the early-to-mid 1990s because so many people were in the hobby because of the collecting angle. I can't tell you how any of my friends would buy a comic and never crack the thing open once to give it a read. For those like me, comics were a commodity that was to be traded. We read all sorts of different titles, so we would swap issues for reading purposes. You couldn't buy too many comic books for a $2 a week allowance! I was not in a position to buy every book that came across my radar.

That economic reality is part of the reason why "collecting" comic books has become a part of my comic book hobby. By the time I left college in 2002, I only had three long boxes. Now, I have almost twenty with several short boxes for current comic book series I'm reading. After getting a job and a stable source of income, I found myself going back to the titles that did come across my radar back when I was a prepubescent punk. Most of the stuff I had bought and traded or at least read from a friend when I was younger. These issues were populating back issue bins at ridiculously cheap prices. Once again, economics played into the equation!

While I still consider myself to be primarily a reader, collecting has become an unintended byproduct of the reading. While I would say 80% of the comics in my collection will never grace my eyes again in terms of reading, it is hard to part with the little boogers. That is until you tell me I have to make a choice; you or the comic books. And of course, I would choose you, darling. Maybe.

Jenn: If the house was burning and you had to choose between saving me or saving "The Amazing Spider-Man #129" (Punisher's First Appearance), would I be on my own?

Brandon: I wouldn't say you would be on your own. That would be highly inappropriate for me to leave you in burning house. However, are you carrying anything? I mean, once we get the cats out and I know that they are secure, we could totally go back in and grab some books. By the way, how much can you lift? I would say that each box weighs around 25 pounds. I figure we could make it out with at least ten boxes before the fire gets too bad. I think you are up t the challenge. But remember, this is a team effort. No slacking off! We don't have all day, the house is burning.

Jenn: What if I had been a hardcore DC Comics fan when we started dating? Do you suppose we'd still be engaged to be married?

Brandon: Oh, that's a good question. First off, I have to give you some major props for even knowing that being a DC fan might have been a faux pas when we met. Secondly, I'm glad to know that you've been noticing what I've been reading lately! To answer your question, I don't think it would have matter tome in the way you are suggesting. You know that before we hit it off, I dated a freaky anime girl who did like comics. She was also a furry. That taught me one important lesson; I didn't really want to date myself. I'm extraorinarily broing. I have crappy tastes in entertainment, food, drink, and clothing. I have good taste in women. Therefore, I cannot date anyone who may have read all the volumes of The History of Middle-Earth or who can name more members of the Moff Council than I can. You have no idea what I'm talking about with either one of those cases and that's just fine with me.

Jenn: Can we please remove the Darth Vader head from the headboard after we get married? It really creeps me out!

Brandon: You're asking far too much of me now. Why is having a Darth Vader mask on our headboard creepy? It's a Darth Vader mask, not Darth Vader. You see, Darth Vader is a fictional character. He doesn't really exist! The creepiness rests in your own mind, not on my headboard. Plus, what if it makes me feel secure having Vader there? Would you want to rob me of my safety?

Seriously though, the answer is; whatever you want, darling. I have no say in the decorating arena. If it's between sex and Vader, I will go with booty any day of the week. Especially if there's a Star Wars costume involved. Despite your misgivings about the Darth Vader helmet, you still come to my bed with me. What does that say about you, I wonder.

Jenn: If you had to choose between Star Wars, Comic Books and the Music collection, which would win (this may be useful to me when we merge households *wink*)?

Brandon: Well... I'm just so freaking lucky that I'm marrying someone like you who won't make me have to choose. Right? RIGHT? I can say in my defense that I have significantly cut back on my Star Wars collectibles purchasing over the last year. I feel like a recovering alcoholic saying this, but I haven't purchased a Star Wars figure in seven months. In my opinion, the Star Wars collection has become a bigger beast than the comic books because they serve no "decorative" role in the household. They just take up a considerable amount of space in one closet.

Does that mean I want to get rid of them? Hell no! But yeah... something has to be done about those things. Let's get past this wedding business and getting you moved in before we tackle the Star Wars collection. I've been a good sport about the comic book stuff thus far. I think I deserve that much.

Jenn: What do you think would happen if Frank Castle was one of the leading men in He's Just Not That Into You?

Brandon: Well, first ff, I think it might be a considerably shorter movie. That particular chick flick was like the Lord of the Rings of chick flicks. I expected Hobbits to come running into Jennifer Aniston's bedroom screaming, "You did it, Mister Frodo! You did it!"

Jenn: Just answer the question.

Brandon: Okay! I think Frank would probably kill many of those self-absorbed characters out of pity or principle from the get-go. He would be putting them, and the audience, out of their memory. Benn Affleck and Jennifer Aniston's characters would be first to go. I think he would also try to toughen up the group of gay men who work with Drew Barrymore's character. I mean, really, people are dying every day out on the mean streets and all these guys can talk about is making booty calls on Facebook. I also would love to see him go to a club with the main character/loser Gigi. She would start rolling into one of her moaning monologues about not finding the right man, but Frank would counter with some grim tale about losing a good man on the Mekong River in hail of fire and blood. It would totally ruin the moment and then he would sock her in the face for being so pompous. Then he would go kill some crack dealers or something. It would be awesome.



Jenn and I get married June 13, this Saturday, at 4:30 p.m. We do have a website if you are so inclined to check it out. Make sure you request some ridiculous song and I'll make sure it makes it into rotation during the reception. Just don't tell Jenn! I may be back sometime next week with a few photos from the wedding, but I'm sort of going to be on the honeymoon at the time, which means those scant few people reading this will be meaningless to me during that time. Everything is coming into place now for the wedding.

I get asked the oft asked question "are you nervous?" now virtually every five minutes. I think that question is making me nervous. But I am not nervous about my decision! Jenn and I are very happy with one another. I'm convinced that I will be able to get her to read some more comics in the near future. Our marriage may depend on it.

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Panelology

by Brandon

What do Punisher, Eminem, Free Comic Book Day, Wolverine, Star Trek and DC's Multiversity have in common? Do I really have to tell you they end up being discussed in this week's column? I do actually rant and rave about all of these things. Enter, those who are brave.

Free Comic Book Day Recap
I hope everyone had a good Free Comic Book Day this past Saturday. Mine was so-so. I visited two shops over the course of the day. Heroes Aren't Hard to Find in Charlotte, NC is where I always visit on FCBD. I think I've missed one year making the pilgrimage north. This year was a fairly disappointing year both in terms of the titles offered and how Heroes had actually set up the store. Of the titles offered, I really enjoyed the Love & Rockets book. It's nice to see L&R jump into the FCBD foray. The rest of the titles offered were pretty bland. Heroes had the titles spread out all over the store on the shelves next to the regular titles. That's good for them to get exposure of the regular books, but bad for fans who had to fight the crowds to get to the free books. Also, their enforcement was lax. I personally saw one guy who was pilfering seven or so copies of each title as he moseyed around the store. It doesn't take the detective skills of Batman to know where those books wound up. Can anyone say "Buy it now?" However, I did pick up the first three volumes of X-Men Essentials for less than $20. That was awesome. Newsarama had a good recap story of the fun had by all at Heroes, if you're interested.

That afternoon, I went to Heroes & Dragons in Columbia, SC. While the only free book they had left was Blackest Night, they had a phenomenal sale going on in their store. I have visited this store in the past when they have had their "sales" going on and wasn't too impressed. I walked in thinking I would walk out with very little. Wrong! Their sale was absolutely fantastic! Nearly everything in the store was on sale, if not at least 50% off. I managed to pick up quite a healthy stack of Justice League Europe issues, more than thirty in all, for around $23. Not bad. Not bad, at all.

Punishing Eminem
Reading about the Punisher/Eminem team-up this past week has depressed me a bit. Sweet Jesus, I thought we had moved past the era where we had to have ridiculous crossovers involving Frank. I guess not. Though Frank has teamed up with lots of folks ranging from Wolverine to Archie, this one most definitely takes the cake for the "WTF" award. I think Punisher would put a bullet between the little prick's eyes just for the principle of the matter irregardless for his misogyny. If you're interested, XXL has the first part and should be on sale for your reading pleasure. Marvel will probably release a collected edition of the story... which means I may buy it.

I know, I know. Damn me to hell for being a Punisher completest. In a bit of positive Punisher news from Robot 6, it appears as if Jason Aaron ad Steve Dillon might be the new creative team on Punisher Max. Cool. I'm down with that so long as it's 100% Eminem free.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine = Meh
Already seen Wolverine? I did last weekend. It was mindless fun at best. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great either. I think there were lots of cool snippets and scenes throughout the film, but I kept feeling like there was something missing. Perhaps it was a cohesive threatening villain? I never really felt any suspense throughout the film because Stryker and Sabertooth were going to live and Deadpool was pretty much a no-show until the final, over-the-top action scene. It was cool to see Gambit, but he could have been used a bit more. In fact, my biggest complaint about the entire film was the usage of too many mutants. It was cool to see them all on the big screen, but if they had just stuck with a couple core characters, it would would have been much more effective. I could have given a shit when Bolt was killed if they had taken the time to build him up. I could have given a shit that Xavier showed up beyond a "hey, that's neat" knee-jerk reaction if they had built that yup a bit more. Instead, we get a Cliff Notes version of each character at best; quantity over quality.

The film probably falls somewhere between X-3 and X-1 for me, with X-2 still being the best. maybe they will choose to move the story further in the next film rather than diddling around in the past. I feel like the above complaints make it seem like I hated the film. It was enjoyable and action packed, what you would expect from a Wolverine film. I think the cast could have been cut by at least half in order to provide a little breathing room rather than providing the obligation to spend a little time with a lot of characters. The general consensus amongst critics and fans is that the filmmakers should have let this one cook a little bit more. Let's hope they get off to a better start with the next film.

Making the Trek
Wolverine can kiss his spot at the top of the box office for good this weekend. Star Trek comes out today. I saw it earlier and it is wonderful. Very seldom does a hyped film live up to its hype, let alone even surpass it. Star Trek does. J.J. Abrams somehow manages to breathe life back into the barely limping franchise with this movie. Hardcore Trek fans will find much to complain about, but as a casual Trek fan, this was just an awesome film watching experience. Each actor must have been carefully vetted by the creative team behind this movie because they all nailed their roles perfectly. The mix of action, sharp banter, and the promise of a new day for Trek fans is overwhelming, but in a good way. I won't spoil anything for you, my fine readers. Just go see the film.

Flunking out of the Multiversity
I think DC hates bringing in new fans. I really do. I've been on a reeducation journey with DC, picking up books that I enjoyed from my youth and books that I missed out on that are supposedly classic. With such an emphasis on old DC, I must admit that my curiosity about what's going on in the modern DCU is piqued. Well, it is until I read an interview or story like this; Multiversity. What the hell, DC? Do you enjoy confusing people that much? Do you need to mire all of that talent under your publishing house in all of that useless continuity and multiple universe junk? I would have thought the fan backlash from Final Crisis would have taught DC a lesson. Instead, it seems that they are getting trapped in Grant Morrison's endless cycle of ideas. I love many things Grant Morrison has written. he's one of my favorite creators. However, he seems to be throwing a lot of big ideas on the wall with very little thoughtful execution to shore them up with. I think DC needs a Dr. Phil style intervention. I would pay big money to see Dan Didio sitting across from Dr. Phil as he starts into one of his "Dan, what's your problem?" rants. Maybe that very event is occurring in the multiverse right now. Who knows?
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Spring Break Reading, Part 1 - Mighty Marvel Round-Up

by Brandon

Ever get behind on your comic book reading? I'm not just talking a handful of issues gathering dust on your nightstand. This type of "behind" would be largely the size of, oh, maybe a long box and a half. That's the situation I currently have before me. The stresses of work, planning a wedding, and just every day life have plagued my ability to catch up on my reading. Add to the mix some very large runs that I've been able to buy on the cheap lately and you have a massive problem. But have no fear, Spring Break 2009 is finally here! While most of my students are probably off having wild, teenager-style adventures involving fumbling sexual antics and wine coolers in exotic tropical locales, their teacher has voluntarily sat this Spring Break out to catch up on reading comic books. I'm taking one for the team and catching up on a load of reading. Fasten your seat belts! This is going to be a long ride Here are some pellet reviews of the books that have crossed my path thus far during Spring Break 2009.


Dark Tower: Treachery #'s 1-6
When I finished the book series, I was pretty bummed about the lackluster ending. I had my own feelings of trepidation when the comic books were announced. However, I have been surprised at how much I have enjoyed these minis thus far. Treachery helps shed some light on a few important events in Roland's youth as a young gunslinger. In this volume, we readers get to see how his mother's infidelities are dealt with in full. I won't spoil the plot, but Peter David and Robin Firth have successfully translated the world of the Dark Tower to comic books. I hope they will continue this series beyond these origin tales. Maybe that will make up for the crappy ending to the book series.

Uncanny X-Men #'s 506-507
Of late, I've heard the X-Men creative intelligentsia frequently say that the X-books don't require teams anymore because... because... um... well... because... We've moved past that point in history. ... Did I get that right, X-creators? Anyway, the focus of the X-Books is pretty much anything goes. That must mean quality too because ever since Manifest Destiny started, Uncanny X-Men has been uncannily boring. The art is pretty. The writing is decent. The total package is just dull, dull, dull, dull. Perhaps having a more cohesive team and roster for the book would help give it some focus. Oh, and get the X-Men out of San Francisco. It just isn't working. Sorry guys.

X-Men Legacy #'s 221-222
On the other hand, the X-men Legacy title has been killer. Two of my favorite X-Men are taking center stage for this arc, Gambit and Rogue. Both characters seem to have found a writer that can actually make them interesting without hamming each character up. Gosh, those accents just beg for it, I know, but Mike Carey makes these characters work so well. It's sad to think the Professor X story is ending since it has been a welcome return of the character's relevance to the pages of the X-books. For the first time in at least two decades, Xavier is an interesting character who isn't just a figurehead or out-and-out bastard. Kudos to Carey and teh rest of the Legacy team for making this one of the best X-books in years!

Wolverine: Manifest Destiny #4
Eh. This was the best thing I've read thus far from the Manifest Destiny titles. That's not a ringing endorsement though. This is a fairly forgettable Wolverine story. There are tons of those out there too. This story just happens to be inoffensive enough to be forgettable.

Ghost Rider #33
On one side of the coin, this issue was awesome just because of the sheer number of Ghost Riders it covers and shows. It sets up a fascinating backdrop for future exploration. On the flip side of the coin, this issue was pretty much a throwaway story that has no real meat to it. I'm glad the new Caretaker has decided to keep the fight going. Good job, Caretaker. But, um, was there any doubt that this would be the case? It's like having Superman handed his ass to him by some bit bad guy. Of course Superman is going to go whip his ass for that. Duh. Do we need to have a whole issue history lesson and pep talk to rev us up for that from a largely uninteresting character?

Squadron Supreme #'s 8-9
The first part of this series started off as a dud, but the last couple of issues have been great. Why? The Squadron is actually here instead of these new losers that Chaykin rolled out in the first arc. So the series has significantly improved with the return of Hyperion et al. Therefore, Marvel has to cancel this series. Oh well. Maybe this universe won't be totally forgotten, but I have a small voice inside that tells me it's done.

Daredevil #'s 116-117
This is an example of the "been there, done that" school of comic books, but it's so damn well written you almost want to forgive Brubaker & Co. for bringing back Kingpin. Almost. The first part to "Return of the King" actually works really well, but the second part feels like a retread of Kingpin/Daredevil truces of the past. At first, I was a bit sad that this creative team was moving on, but now I think maybe it's time. Note to future Daredevil writers; when you start wanting to bring back Kingpin, it's time to move on. Maybe there's an X-book you could write?

The Invincible Iron Man #'s 11-12
I have to admit that Invincible Iron Man is the first monthly Iron Man title I have ever read, but I'm really enjoying the hell out of it. Tony Stark is on the run and doing a nice tour of the Marvel Universe to boot. I didn't read Secret Invasion and am trying to avoid any Dark Reign stuff outside of the titles I usually read, but fans get a large dose of "Osborn won, get over it" here in this title. The art is absolutely gorgeous. It's hard to believe that this is the Salvador Larroca that drew some other, fairly ho-hum titles in the past.

Punisher #3
Already three issues into the new title and Remender is already doing a better job at it than Fraction did with War Journal. I already wrote about this a bit in my last Panelology article, but this is a quality title. However, I think Remender and other Marvel creators are wrong when they say Punisher doesn't have to be taking out these big fish he's gunning after. Um, that's what the Punisher does. He kills bad guys. End of discussion. If he's not doing that, then what's the point? That's why many people are attracted to the character. If you want an antihero that shows mercy, read Batman., If you want people killed like chumps, read Punisher. Next.

Ultimatum #3
Here's a little math to start off this review; Gory + shocking ≠ a good comic book. This series is almost a mockery of the Ultimate concept. Here's Marvels thinking; let's bastardize the core concept that this isn't the Marvel Universe by just killing off all this characters. It will be frickin' great! And shocking too! The only problem here is that it isn't good and it's tying the hands of future Ultimate stories. Oops, that characters dead. Screw it. Marvel is killing more than their Ultimate stable of characters. They are killing my interest. If enough fans are like me, that could be the most damaging death in this whole Ultimatum mess.


Ultimate Spider-Man #131
Despite the whole Ultimatum fiasco being just ridiculous, Ultimate Spider-Man still manages to make lemonade out of lemons. This isn't a great story by comparison to others that have appeared in this title, but it's still entertaining. The Hulk scenes were fun. But why didn't they kill Aunt May? Marvel's killing everyone else. Her ass has got to go in some Universe. Why not here?

Ultimate Fantastic Four #60 & Ultimate X-Men #100
I'm lumping these two titles together because Ultimatum has become a mercy killing for both of these titles. It seems that ever since Marvel decided to go with this Ultimatum mess, the creators of both of these titles have been farting around just waiting for the axe to fall. And it shows. The quality of both of these titles is poor, and that's being kind. Maybe they will come back in some form, but let's hope they can find some A-list creators to write solid stories, not just stories that will occupy space on the comic shelf monthly.

Ultimate Wolverine vs. Hulk #3
Late? Yes. Worth the wait? Probably not. Decent? Yeah, I guess. While an entertaining read, I breezed through this issue like the Flash on cocaine. This is what we waited so long for? Lindelof had problems writing this? Really? Entertaining, but hardly worth the wait.

That's it for now. Check back tomorrow for the Dark Horse and Wildstorm reviews!
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Panelology

by Brandon
This week, I rant and rave about a certain new Marvel exclusive creator. DC's also has a new outreach initiative with Sunday Comics on Wednesday. Sounds cool. Maybe. I also discuss further my own DC rehabilitation struggles, the Obama craze, and that pesky little superhero movie that has been pretty much ignored by those outside of the comic book community. Should I call them Don't-Watchmen? Muggles? Non-comic buying public? Mainstream America? Or should I just say normal people?

All that and more just by wasting five precious minutes of your reading time.

Exclusively Sucky
This past week's announcement at the Emerald City Comic Con that Rick Remender is now a Marvel exclusive creator is both welcome and unwelcome for this fan. Don't get me wrong, as a Punisher fan, I'm actually really enjoying his run on Punisher thus far. In fact, I think he's doing a much better job thus far on the title than Matt Fraction did. I completely understand his reasoning behind going exclusive. Job security is at a premium now here in the United States, and of course, what creator didn't dream of growing up and working for one of the big two? But what a crappy position to put fans in? Instead of placing a satisfying ending or handing off the books to other creators (which isn't really satisfying at all), it appears that Remender's creator-owned properties like Fear Agent and End League will go on a decidedly unsatisfying hiatus. Despite being quite nebulous, these hiatuses can't be good for these books or for Dark Horse. Fear gent has been buzzy-worthy for a while now and End League has been awesome despite some of those "nasty" shipping delays we fans enjoy bemoaning. I say all of this in the knowledge that I have no real solution for how to overcome such a situation, but it really does suck for those fans. A brother has got to do what a brother has got to do. Good luck to Remender in his new exclusiveness. Let's hope he gets back to End League and Fear Agent sooner rather than later.

Hump Day Comics
This Wednesday Comics idea from DC sounds like it might be worth a damn. The operative word here is might because the chances of this being an extraordinary flop are pretty high. But you have to give DC some credit for doing something inventive for a change. I know, it's hard to believe that someone just used the company "DC" and word "inventive" in the same sentence, but there it is. DC has been far behind Marvel now for a few years now. I hope this works out for them. I think it could be a neat experiment even if the name Wednesday Comics doesn't exactly inspire one to greatness.


The DC Reeducation Program, Phase 2
I'm still trying to educate myself in DC Comics. I know I like to pile on criticism of these guys, but I do feel as if I missed the boat on some titles. Like a good comic fan, I've been trying to go back and re-read or obtain series from DC's past to better educate myself on the company's past. I've initiated a pretty large task ahead of me. I'm going back and collecting the Giffen/DeMatteis Justice League and John Ostander's Suicide Squad. I'm probably fifteen or so issues into each series and I'm loving each. I was already very familiar with the Justice League series since I already had several of those issues, but Suicide Squad was a new commodity for me. Though I'm not terribly familiar with all of the characters, Suicide Squad has been nothing less than amazing. I also picked up the 1987 Dr. Fate mini, the Wild Dog mini from around the same time, and Jeff Smith's recent Shazam mini. Of the three, I've only gotten around to reading Shazam, but it was a solid miniseries that was easy and fun to read. I would like to read more Jeff Smith's take on the character as he just seemed like a good fit for that character. I'll soldier on through my DC reeducation Program, and as always, I'm open to suggestions. Got any?

Ultimatum Update
Yeah, this whole story still sucks. Really, if it's not broke, don't fix it.

Obama-sized Spectacular Anniversary First-Issue Foil Covered Edition
Has your comic book featured our new commander-in-chief yet? No? Well, what the hell is your problem? Don't you know that having Barack Obama in your comic book is, like, the coolest thing ever. All the cool kids are doing it, so why not you? What kind of douche bag comic company doesn't want to do this? I'll tell you; the company that wants to go bankrupt. I mean, let's face it, this is Barack-effing-Obama we're talking about here. He's practically the coolest thing since sliced bread or Bono. On a more serious note, really, what the hell is going on here? I know comic companies are all just trying to cash in, but is this really necessary? Can't comic companies focus on telling good stories rather than hawking off a sorry attempt at pandering? Outside of his titles dedicated to the man himself, Comic Book Database has Obama listed as appearing in several issues already with many more to come from such titles as Youngblood and Barack the Barbarian. Yeah... I really don't know what to say to all of that. I like the man just as good as the next Democrat, but for the love of all that is holy in our democracy, can we comic fans just agree that this fad is over? It will be like a gentleman's agreement. Nothing needs to be signed or codified into law. Let's just move on, shall we?

Watchmen... Epic Fail?
Curse my lateness! I wasn't able to really participate in Doug's excellent series on the Watchmen film because I saw it almost two-weeks after it had hit theaters. If you missed the series, you should really check the articles out, all five parts of it. I have nothing new or original to add to the affair in terms of reviewing the film suffice to say that I really enjoyed it. But that may be part of the problem. With a box office total of just over $105 million thus far, its pretty easy to classify this movie's take as being in the red given that it cost around $150 million to make and who knows how much to market. Of course, all this is said in the understanding that the DVD revenues will more than likely lift this film into the black. As far as many fans are concerned, the movie did a good job, but I think it's tough to count Watchmen in the "win" column for comic book films. Why? The lack crossover success, that's why. The failure of this film to win over Joe Blow and Susie Whadayaknow off the street is pretty condemning. The Spider-Man, Iron Man, and recent Batman films have been so successful because they have been able to reach across the aisle to those non-fanboys and fangirls. They offered something to them that the comic books never could manage; entertainment. I'm not going to psychoanalyze the general movie viewing public here, but I think the theater numbers say it all. I'm also not saying the general movie public is smart. I think watchmen was a film for those that are smarter than the average bear, for those who can appreciate a rich and textured film without it having to resort to tired cliches. I think history will be kinder to the Watchmen film, but I'm not sure if the general public will ever warm up to the idea of a superhero flick quite like this.

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