by Brandon
This is it. This is the end. I start back to work in two days. Students start back a week thereafter. I would lying if I said I wanted to go back to work. Let me state emphatically that I do not. This summer has been crazy busy and I don't feel like my brain has had enough time to defrag from last school year. Like it or not, though, my days of freedom are dwindling. Luckily, I have been able to read a ton of comics this summer and have been able to catalogue my new comic book experiences here for all to read on the big, bad Internet. In this last edition of summer reading, I review new books from the Batman reboot, a milestone for Savage Dragon, the awesome Unwritten, and several Star Wars books.
Captain America: Reborn #2
I know I reviewed my latest batch of Marvel books last week, but I decided to give Captain America: Reborn another shot. The first issue fell kind of flat for me for two reasons: the same two reasons this issue fell flat for me. What a coincidence? My first major reason is that I am an outsider to this title. I'm one of those people Marvel roped into buying this through the hype. I'm probably a chump for doing so, but impulse buys can sometimes pay off. I'm the type of outside person Marvel is hoping will buy this. Yet, an outsider is all I feel like. I have no real connection to the characters or events outside of the larger context that the event/non-event Dark Reign that is going on and Norman has some kind of mad-on to make sure he gets Cap first. Which brings me to my second problem. This just doesn't feel real to me. This can't really be how Marvel is bring Captain America back? It seems to out there for Brubaker's reputation. This second issue did little to clear up the mechanism of how a magic bullet is able to bring Captain America back by sticking him in time. It's weak for a return that surely have been planned from word one when they decided to kill Steve Rogers off at the end of Civil War.
Batman & Robin #2
Grant Morrison & Frank Quitely are probably the best creative team in comic books working past, present, or future. They just hit the ground running with whatever they do together, a synergy that clicks. The second issue of the new Batman & Robin series has some great character moments with just about everyone in the book. Alfred is comfortable in the mentor role and Damian is too in his role as the would be jerk. The dynamic between the new Batman and Robin is still tense. And while I think it's a bit too early to play the "Robin runs off on his own" card, it just seems to work here. The editorial bigwigs over at DC should pat themselves on the back. The Batman books haven't been this blessed with this caliber of creative talent in a long time, if ever.
Detective Comics #855
Speaking of talent on the Bat books, another one of the titles that is currently blessed is Detective Comics. While Rucka's story here is weaker than the last issue, it still plays off well. A large part of that is due to the gorgeous artwork provided by J.H. Williams III. Batwoman spent a large part of this issue tripping, which works more towards the artist's strength rather than the writer. If Morrison and Quitely are the best team, then Williams is the best stand alone artist. Each page is a joy to look at. The second feature with the Question was still "meh" for me.
Fables #85
Now back on regularly scheduled programing, this issue of Fables stands out as one of the better single-issue stories in the run thus far. That may be in large part due to following up the so-so crossover of the last few months. Mr. Dark is a menacing villain and we get a slight peak here of what he was like and where he came from. Willingham's story almost reaches new heights here, while guest penciller Jim Fern does an outstanding job of providing artwork worthy of any regular issue out of the series. This new, yet darker era for Fables looks like it is going to be fertile for new stories. Some fans wondered if Willingham was going to be able to continue to write great comics for Fables once the Adversary was out of the way. It's issues like these that prove Willingham can actually out do himself. 
The Unwritten #3
Holy crap! This is the best new series on the stands now. To use an over-used baseball analogy, Mike Carey and Peter Gross are hitting the ball out of the park with every issue. This title is everything you want out of a Vertigo title. It's literary and edgy, smart and funny, mysterious and fantastical. Carey manages to keep the story of Tom Taylor dealing with his alter ego of Tommy Taylor going strong without really focusing on the fictional Tommy Taylor this issue. Instead, we get an examination of Frankenstein and a solid argument between assembled writers on why horror works. This is such a well-written series that it's hard to find fault with anything Carey and Gross have done thus far. Could this be the best book out now? Possibly, but if you haven't gotten on board yet, what's your excuse?
The Savage Dragon #150
Erik Larsen's Savage Dragon hit a milestone few independent comics ever reach with this 150th issue. It is such an achievement for him and not just in term with numbers. Savage Dragon isn't the best book on the stands. I don't think it ever will be. However, it is one of the most entertaining reading experiences a comic fans can have. The amount of zany ideas per square inch here beat out any comic book being published right now. It's hard to read a Savage Dragon comic and not catch a bit of Larsen's infectious love for this character. The title on the cover states that this issue was the biggest bargain in comic." 100 pages for $5.99? Yeah, that's awesome, especially when many Marvel and DC books cost you just two bucks less for barely 22 pages worth of story. For that, fans get a ton of extras on top of the regular story for this issue. Included here are Savage Dragon #0, Lev Gleason Publishing's Daredevil #18 (not that Daredevil), a Vanguard story, and several small strips just for fun. And I shouldn't forget the always interesting letter column. For fans old and new, this issue is great for someone wanting to scratch their comic book itch. I can promise it's not going to be the next Watchmen, but does every comic need to be? Just have fun reading this one. I did.
Conan the Cimmerian #12
I gushed last month about how awesome Conan has been since the rebooting to Conan the Cimmerian. I don't have that much to add this month in terms of praise because this book is still very entertaining. "Black Colossus" is one of those classic Robert E. Howard stories that is hard to mess up. It has everything you would want from a Conan story: love, war, and lots of kick ass art. Though I'm already familiar with the story, Truman and Giorello inject so much life into this story that is fresh once again.
Star Wars Extravaganza:
I'm going to be dorky and write a review haiku for each of these issues. It's a) something different and b) risk free because no one is reading.
Star Wars: The Clone Wars #7
So pedestrian
Can anyone make this good?
Not even the Jedi
Star Wars: Invasion #1
Based on book series
Why not follow Yoda's lead?
Please do or do not
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic #43
John Jackson Miller
Must Zayne always save the day?
Isn't he clumsy?
Star Wars: Legacy #38
Poor Cade Skywalker
Trapped real drunk on Tatooine
Look, bounty hunter
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8.11.2009
Summer Reading, pt. 6
7.28.2009
Panelology: San Diego CCI 2009 Round Up
by Brandon
In case you have been buried under a stack of Alpha Flight comics the past few days, The San Diego Comic Con wrapped up this past weekend. This weekend marked a huge landmark for the convention. Comic-Con International turned 40 this year. While the focus on comic books has been lessened in recent years by the influx of other media such as television, movies, and video games, there was plenty of comic book news to be had by all.
Welcome to the 21st Century!
While comic book news updates during big conventions like CCI are hardly a new thing, the pace at which updates hit the Internet this year was bordering on frantic. In addition to comic book news sites, social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter also were alight with constant updates. Contributing to the insane amount of up-to-the-second updates was the fact that iGoogle provided free wireless throughout the convention hall. Though some fans reported spotty reception, those of not in attendance were plenty happy with the deluge of updates we received throughout the weekend.
Also in 21st Century news, it appears Dark Horse will be releasing some of their Star Wars titles for download on the ever popular iPhone. Dark Horse will start out modestly by releasing three stories from their back catalogue. Stories from Empire, Legacy, and Clone Wars will be released first. If all goes well, expect more iPhone comics from Dark Horse in the future. I guess the impact of this announcement really depends on two things. One, do you like Star Wars? Two, and more importantly, do you have an iPhone? If you're like me, an iPhone is really beyond the realm of my interest. I'm going to be interested in seeing how well this program works. And why only Star Wars? Dark Horse has plenty of great books. It just seems odd that these stories would be the one they would pursue. But congratulations to Dark Horse for pushing their technology experiments one step further!
The trend appears to be continuing throughout the medium as well. CBR has an interesting look at the prevalence of digital comics. The future is here, or at least it's coming. These new developments could be tempting especially if they cost less than $4 an issue.
Marvelous
The announcement from Marvel that they own the rights to Mick Anglo's Marvelman is without a doubt the biggest news to come out of CCI. Hand's down. I'd dare any DC, Image, or indie fanboy or fangirl to give a comparable story. Anything? Yeah, I didn't think so. The announcement has left readers with more questions than answers. What does this mean for the Alan Moore and Neil Gaiman Marvelman/Miracleman stories? Will there be new material soon? How many reprints can fans expect? Regardless of the questions, it is damn exciting news to hear that new Marvelman material will be coming down the pike despite years of legal wrangling. I'll comment more on this issue later this week.
Kirkman's Progress
I believe Robert Kirkman has already arrived as a major creative force, but if anyone needed any more proof, just take a look at his presence at CCI this year. While news of the end of his Astonishing Wolf Man comic saddened many fans, that sadness was eventually washed away by some interesting preview art for Haunt from Todd McFarlane. Whether you love Todd or loathe him (personally, I'm more the latter), this book at least sounds interesting. With Kirkman backing up the Toddster on writing duties, I think this will sell like hotcakes when it finally sees the light of day in October.
Vertigo Commits to Crime
An odd, yet welcome, announcement came from DC/Vertigo that they will be making a new crime line. Listen to the audio podcast from the panel by clicking here. In a way, I'm glad to see Vertigo putting an emphasis on the crime genre. This is the perfect place for a new focus like this. However, was it really necessary to create a new alternative comic book line within an already established alternative comic book line? DC doesn't exactly have a great track record with this type of line. Remember Helix? Paradox? Piranha? Minx? Focus? Yeah... Vertigo has already had some strong crime comics in the past. It's just a bit odd that they would want to underline it even more. Vertigo is an established name within the medium. Adding the title "Crime" to it doesn't really do anything besides giving it a cosmetic boost.
Dark Reigning on the Blackest Night
Did you know DC has a huge event going on right now involving all of the ROY G. BIV color spectrum called Blackest Night? Did you know Marvel has a mega non-event event going on right now called Dark Reign? Sweet. Jesus. The guys at DC could hardly shut the hell up about the damn event. Same with Marvel. You couldn't throw a stone at the convention without hearing about Blackest Night or Dark Reign. I mean, Sweet Jesus! Guys, I know you're the professionals and all, but this just seems like a situation of the tail wagging the dog instead of the other way around. Can't we just tell good stories without there being a thousand tie-ins?
The Mandalorians Are a' Coming!
The second season of Star Wars: Clone Wars had a new preview trailer that was premiered at CCUI this past weekend. In a word, I would have to say it was awesome. If I had to use two words, I would probably say it was flipping awesome. It looks as if the handlers for the television show are doing all they can to bring a darker feel to this season. The bounty hunter angle looks to figure in heavily to this season's plot. Oh, and there were Mandalorians.
That's not all folks!
It really isn't all! These were just the highlights as I saw them. There were tons of media presentations from television, movies, and video games represented here that I just don't give a rat's ass about. You might, you sick and twisted reader, you. Be sure to check out San Diego Comic Con International's website for more details on the actual convention. Newsarama, Comic Book Resources, IGN, and Bleeding Cool also have a plethora of CCI news for your viewing pleasure. Be sure to check those sites out for exhaustive coverage of the comings and goings of CCI.
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6.23.2009
Summer Reading, pt. 1
by Brandon
Summer. This is the comic book fan's season for catching up and enjoying a good, geeky book while one should be outside instead. Jenn remarked last week while on our honeymoon, "How did comic books end up coming on our honeymoon?" Well, the answer really does boggle the mind; I packed them in a backpack and brought them with us. I made full use of the quiet setting of Sound off Kitty Hawk, North Carolina to catch up on some reading. Some of the titles are old, some are new, but they all get a little review from me here. 
Grendel War Child #'s 1-10
Though this book takes place chronologically far beyond what I've read to thus far in the Grendel series (chapters 41-50, whereas I just entered the teens in my regular Grendel reading), I decided to give this miniseries a go since I picked it up for a buck a couple of weeks ago. It turned out to be a fairly accessible read, but not just in terms of Wagner's writing, but also the helpful recap pages at the front of the book and two-page review pages in the back of each issue which successfully and succinctly explained the entire history of the printed Grendel up to that point. Grendel Prime, the protagonist of this story, turned out to be a very effective Grendel. What he lacked in Hunter Rose's flamboyance, he made up for in true grit. This was a great miniseries and highly recommended, especially if you can find it on the cheap like I did. 
Star Wars: The Clone Wars #6
No real trip would be complete without having read something in the Star Wars realm. Unfortunately, this last issue in the first Clone Wars arc was very disappointing. While the story of stopping intergalactic slavery would be interesting in, say, the 1860s, it just seemed a bit odd for a focus here. I realize Anakin was a slave, but the story's heavy "gee, this is soooooooo wrong" tilt from the beginning was a nonstarter. Of course slavery is wrong. Do we need six issues of action packed preaching to deliver that point home? This first arc was in no way as engaging as the first season of the television show. Maybe it will pick up soon, but if the second arc doesn't grab me, this book will be on the chopping block.
Justice League America #'s 46-50 (Glory Bound)& Annual #4 (JL Antarctica)
I'm almost finished with my rereading of the classic JLI from Giffen and DeMatteis. I have thoroughly enjoyed every issue and arc of JLI up until the Glory Bound arc found in issues 46-50. The first issue involving Guy Gardner going to a comic book convention was good, but the rest of the story fell flat. Much of the fun about the arc I suppose was to be derived from poking fun at the Captain America pastiche General Glory. The only catch was that... it just wasn't funny. Annual #4, however, was an excellent issue of the series that introduced the Antarctica branch of the JLI. The ineffective Injustice League and Gnort get assigned to patrol Antarctica and protect it from flesh-eating penguins. It was zany fun despite the fact that Gnort was featured so heavily. My only complaint really about this latter era of JLI is the fact that Booster Gold was MIA. He and Blue Beetle really made this title great. Despite my small grievances, this title really has rejuvenated my interest in the comic book medium. The JLI books have been fun to read. I feel old saying this, but they just don't make them like that anymore. 
Justice League Europe #'s 23-28 & Annual #2
Of the various JLI books, JLE was the one I was most wary about reading, but it has in fact been one of the most enjoyable. The mix of action and Bwah-ha-ha is perfect in this title. Plus, it features some of the more consistently interesting JLI members; Captain Atom, Flash, Elongated Man, Power Girl and her cat, Rocket Red, and Metamorpho. Whereas the JLA title seemed to spend more time goofing around the embassy, JLE seemed to get out more and, you know, handle bad guys. Whether it was fighting huge works controlled by a league of captains of industry (issues 23-25) or fighting off Starro yet again (issues 26-28), this particular incarnation of the league was always fun and effective in their own little way. Any story that can make Starro seem not lame is a good story. Along with the above JLA issues, these issues can be found for ridiculously cheap prices, most likely less than a buck an issue. They are well worth your time to seek out. 
Hero Squared #'s 1-3 & Special #1
Speaking of J.M. DeMatteis and Keith Giffen, someone recommended Hero Squared to me a while back. I bought the original miniseries and X-tra Sized special to try it out. While it was funny in many parts, I just don't see how this story could be sustained over a long period of time. It seems pretty finite to me. I'm glad to see that there are only nine issues after these initial four remaining because I just don't see the concept really stretching too far. It was a fun read, but if someone were inclined to want to check this creative team out, they would be much better served by seeking out the JLI titles. 
Ultimate Hulk vs. Wolverine #6
Wow... that was a letdown. We waited for that? Seriously? While the Nick Fury part at the end was solid, the rest was lackluster, and that's being kind. A Wolverine and Hulk miniseries should be cool. It should be grandiose and over the top. This miniseries started off with a bang, but ended on a barely audible thud. 
Ultimate Spider-Man #132
Did you read the above review? Kinda sucky. Well, that's pretty much my opinion of this issue too. It's been no secret that I think Ultimatum has been dreadful, but this is just crap. Ultimate Spider-Man was one of the best titles Marvel had going. It wasn't groundbreaking, but it was always consistent. Now that it has been mucked up by all this Ultimatum junk, it has become almost unreadable. Thanks, Marvel. 
The Invincible Iron Man #13
Hmmm. Interesting. I have never read a regular, monthly Iron Man comic in my life, but something compelled me to pick this title up last summer and I've been enjoying it ever since. While I think this "Most Wanted" story arc has been going on for too long, I think Fraction is slowly building up to a boiling point that will be amazing. The inevitable confrontation with Norman Osborn should be the most exciting comic Marvel produces in this whole Dark Reign business, but that's up to how well Fraction and the other frame it. If you look at Invincible Iron Man, it looks like it will be explosive. Kudos on both the writing and art here. This is by far one of the best titles Marvel is producing now. 
Daredevil #118
I believe it was King George the Third who wrote in his diary on July 4, 1776 that "nothing much happened today." The same could be said for this issue. Is it just me, or has Daredevil become to whiny lately? It just kind of drones on and on and on. We get to see Daredevil brood for much of the issue, which is highly original. For those who are a poor judge of sarcasm, that was definitely sarcasm. I want to read Daredevil stories that are exciting crime dramas, not emo-like pity sessions where Matt muses about how shitty his life has become. Get over it. That Daredevil story has been written at least eighty times. Let's move on, shall we?
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4.14.2009
Spring Break Reading, Part 2 - Dark Horse, Vertigo, & Wildstorm
by Brandon
The saga continues! But I'm afraid there won't be any foil-embossed, polybagged, or variant editions. I'm so sorry. What you are likely to find here is a ton of comic reviews. I continue my quest to catch up on the piles and piles of reading I have neglected the past few months. Enter all that are brave! 
Conan the Cimmerian #'s 8-9
There are only a few individuals I would trust writing Conan these days and Tim Truman is one of them. I'm convinced he was born to write this title. With these two issues, the Cimmeria arc has ended and readers find Conan entering a pivotal part in his adventuring experience. Conan becomes are mercenary in only the way Conan can. The writing is crisp and appropriately "pulpy" while never entering farcical territory. The art provided by Tomas Giorello is just superb. With more action and intrigue than you can shake a battle-axe at, Conan remains ones of the better titles on the stand.
Kull #'s 2-5
I was never a huge Kull fan. Of the Robert E. Howard properties, I was always more partial to Conan and Solomon Kane than any of the others. I picked this mini up more out of respect to Robert E. Howard's creations than any desire to read a story about Kull. Imagine my surprise as I simply devoured these issues in rapid succession last Saturday night. The creative team of Arvid Nelson and Will Conrad have sculpted a fine story in this mini. Kull has been crowned King, but an ancient order of serpents has infiltrated Kull's kingdom with the desire to crumble it before any foundation is built. twists and turns abound in this mini. If you skipped this mini, shame on you! It''s probably the best story from a Howard property to see print from Dark Horse thus far. What are you waiting for? Get it now!
Solomon Kane #5
There's just something immensely appealing to me about stories crafted around a Puritan with a sword and gun. This mini comes to an end with this issue, and it's a shame. This was also a superior miniseries. The setting of Germany's Black Forest is creepy enough, but couple that with Mario Guevara's haunting art and Scott Allie's writing, and you have one chilling story. I want to see more Solomon Kane in the future. I have the old Marvel mini which adapted several of the old stories, but there is almost limitless potential here for future stories. He's a puritan with a gun. Come on, give us more already. 
Indiana Jones and the Tomb of the Gods #'s 3-4
It's been almost a year since Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was released, and we finally have the last issue of a miniseries that was intended to capitalize on the buzz of said film. Way to go Dark Horse! This miniseries dredges up several familiar items to the Indiana Jones mythos (Nazis, hidden temples, Marcus Brody, beautiful girls) but never catches a single spark of that previous glory. There were many things going against this title right from the outset. There wasn't too much that was special or memorable about this miniseries to set it apart from that previously mentioned mythos. It was a lot of "been there, done that" moments for both Indy and the reader. I would love to read a new Indiana Jones ongoing series. There are so many great stories to be told where you don't have to be restricted to Harrison Ford's aging acting abilities.
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic #'s 38-39
Now that Zayne Carrick, inept Jedi Padawan and titular hero of this book, has been cleared of all his wrongdoings, John Jackson Miller & Crew have a little fun with the book. Sith serial murderers and swoop-racing take center stage here in these issues. Each issue is just fun to read. And guess what kids? We get to see some more fisticuffs between Zayne and a Sith! Too bad Zayne fails miserably as usual to take on the Sith. For once, this reader would like to see some competency out of Zayne. Instead, it appears that Miller wants to make Zayne the Potsie Weber of the Star Wars universe. To each his own, I suppose. Regardless, these were some fun issues to read. They won't be winning Eisner Awards, but they were entertaining!
Star Wars: The Clone Wars #4
I loved the first season of the cartoon series from Cartoon Network. Don't believe me? Read here. The comic series has been okay thus far, but it hasn't been stellar. It's hard to translate the fluid nature of the animated cartoon series to a comic book page. The cartoon has its own style and it just dones't work as well when the comic books try to ape it. The story of trying to save slaves from the clutches of the Confederacy is decent, but not exactly original. Woohoo, Anakin wants to save the slaves. Woohoo. 
Star Wars: Legacy #'s 33-34
Issue number 33 wraps up the Mon Calamari story, and not a moment too soon. Who. freaking. Cares. Nuff said. The next issue takes the reader back to what is actually important, dealing with the aftermath of the Vector storyline and the death of a certain main villain that has been plaguing Cade Skywalker since the first issue. The new status quo set up by Vector will be interesting to watch over the next few months, so long as they can avoid Mon Calamari stories in the process. This still remains the best Star Wars book on the stands.
Grendel: The Devil Inside #'s 1-3
This is an oldie, but goody. The second Grendel is dead, but her boyfriend's slow decent into madness leads to the arrival, albeit short, of the third Grendel. Matt Wagner's exploration of violence is frantic and dark, drawing the reader in one maddening journal entry at time. The journey Brian Li Sung takes to the bottom is fascinating. If somehow you missed any of the old Grendel tales, please do yourself a favor by seeking them out. You will not be disappointed!
The End League #7
This series continues to shine with each successive issue that hits the shelves. First designed as a monthly title before delays forced it into a bimonthly schedule, this title has now been placed on an indefinite hiatus. This issue only serves to highlight what the comic world will be missing. What's not to love about a world where the heroes are on the ropes struggling for survival? The Smiling Man (think Joker) has shot Thor's hammer, the magical key to all the heroes problems, into space. Or has he? I won't spoil the ending, but it sets up an interesting dynamic for the next issue. Only two more issues to go before Remender's self-imposed hiatus for this title. Damn.
The X-Files #5
Oh, this was great. Thus far, the new Wildstorm mini featuring everyone's favorite FBI agents has been serviceable, but nothing special. The fifth issue, however, was the first issue to really capture that eerie quality the series managed to maintain for much of its run. You could just feel the ambiance of the series bleeding through the pages. It's too bad the mini didn't catch on because I think the further adventures of Agents Mulder and Scully could be fun to read in this format.
Top 10: Season Two #3 & Special #1
You get the feeling that this series could be better if Moore were still on the creative team, but the premise of this series is just so wacky and strange that it is impossible not to find some joy in the series. While the special was pretty much useless, the main miniseries has been fun. In the third issue, readers are treated to a self-help Origin Weekend put on by the Premise Keepers for heroes who are having a costumed identity crisis. The results are hilarious. Peregrine's husband apparently no longer wants to be the costumed hero he is. Despite having reservations a deep-seeded feelings of shame over her husband's identity problems, she supports his going on a Origin Weekend. This story is so clever and unique that it seems like something that Moore really would come up with. I hope there are future seasons of this title around the corner. I'm a sucker for a good cop drama and the art always provides the keen reader with some unusual and fun treats.
Top 10: Beyond the Farthest Precinct #'s 1-5
I found these issues swirling around some dollar bin recently and I had to pick them up. This was a great miniseries about a drug epidemic amongst robots. There were subplots galore and plenty of zany action in this miniseries that takes place five years after the Smax miniseries of a few years ago. This really should be considered a "season" of the series. As I mentioned above, look carefully at the art for some nice Easter Eggs.
Fables #'s 81-82
This is another one of those books that always delivers in terms of quality, and these two issues are not exceptions! These issues deal with a major death from the Fables crew. Longtime readers will be crestfallen by the death, but the knowledge that a fable may return from the dead does keep some alive, though Willingham goes to great lengths in issue #82 to point out that this character only appears in one short nursery rhyme and may be dead for good. On the villainous end of things, Mr. Dark is being established as the new bad guy in Fabletown and he's turning out to be a worthy replacement for the Adversary. Many comic books claim to change the status quo nearly on a monthly basis, but Fables is the real deal. The new setup will service a wide range of new stories that should continue to maintain the quality of this book for quite some time to come.
That's it for today... and for the remainder of the week! I'll be back next Sunday or Monday with the third and final installment of Spring break Reading. Why? Because I'm actually going to do something with my Spring Break; I'm going camping! But fear not, I'm bringing a whole stack of comic books for my reading pleasure. Be back next week for some reviews of some golden oldies including The Spirit, Elementals, Justice League International, Savage Dragon, Suicide Squad, and much, much more.
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3.22.2009
Star Wars - The Clone Wars, Season 1
by Brandon
The first season of Star Wars - The Clone Wars is officially over! I was pretty psyched when this was announced a couple of years ago, but the prequels left more than its fair share of fans who were nervous about the series. How would a series based on the derided prequel trilogy actually fare? The answer; not bad at all. For those who missed, here are my thoughts on what you should seek out and what you should avoid from the first season. 
Best Episode: "Jedi Crash" & "Defenders of Peace"
This awesome two-part story was by far the best this season. Anakin, Ahsoka, and Aayla Secura crash land on the uncharted world of Maridun, which is occupied by pacifist Lurmen refugees from Mygeeto. The episode explores the cost of war and the point at which war is necessary. It was nice to see Aayla Secura shine here in both episode. The Lurmens also ended up being one of the more interesting and likable species to be spawned out of the whole prequel era. At the risk of sounding like a wuss, I thought they were pretty cute.but they were useful too. So, take that Ewoks and Gunguns! The obvious nod to Akira Kurosawa's work, (one of the major influences Lucas cites on his directorial style) via the peaceful Lurmens was a nice touch. The Irish accents for the Lurmens were cool too.
Worst Episode: "Bombad Jedi"
I dare you to find a worse episode than this. I double-dare you! From the title alone, you can guess who manages to fumble his way into the series. Mix in a little C-3PO and Padme, two of my least favorite characters, and you get a big ball of useless on top of it all. Jar-Jar just serves to add insult to injury. While I'm sure someone out there likes Jar-Jar, the universally accepted truth about this character is that he takes away more from the Star Wars experiences than he actually adds to it. Way more. Jar-Jar somehow manages to rescue Padme and C-3PO from the clutches of Nute Gunray by convincing the enemies of freedom that he is a Jedi? Yeah right. 
Best Hero: Ahsoka Tano
One of the biggest question marks going into the Clone Wars movie and following series was that of Anakin's "new" padawan Ahsoka Tano. In the movie she comes off as being that obnoxious tween you just love to hate and hate to love, and that assessment is one born out of excessive niceness. Let's face it; she was whiny. Despite the obvious continuity and canon issues she brings up just by appearing in the show, Ahsoka was one of the most surprising and well developed parts of the show this season. Several episodes showcased the potential for this character, especially in "Cloak of Darkness" where she and Luminara Unduli square off with Asajj Ventress and win. I'll admit that part of my interest in this character is the desire to find out what exactly happened to her, but for now she will just remain a solid addition to the Star Wars expanded universe. As Palpatine comments in The Phantom Menace, I look forward to watching her progress in the coming season.
Worst Hero: Anakin Skywalker
And then there's Ahsoka's Jedi Master... Anakin, Anakin, Anakin. Not only did your chin dimple detract from nearly everything you said and did throughout the first season, Anakin comes off as being a pretty lame hero. He is taken out of commission just as many times as he is saving the Grand Army of the Republic from assured defeat. Just check out the episodes "Dooku Captured" or the season finale "Hostage Crisis" for your dose of heroic lameness. I know Anakin is the central character in this series, but he fails on almost every level. He comes off more as a bumbling intergalactic fraternity brother than a Jedi General. Plus, he does have a creepy old man vibe around him in most of his scenes with Ahsoka. Anakin already has some hormone issues. Add the stress of war and a tween wearing clothes that practically scream "jail bait", it isn't hard to make a mental leap that Anakin might have eyes for his young student. Prove me otherwise.
Best Villain: Count Dooku
He's a pompous, arrogant, egalitarian Sith Lord who just happens to be the leader of a massive galactic uprising. What's not to like about this character? Woefully underused in the Prequels, this mistake has been corrected in multiple Clone Wars related media outings such as video games, comic books, novels, and now the first season of the show. Dooku fits the bill of a scary old man that we all have an irrational fear of. He's sleek and well-mannered unlike the rest of the Separatists. While most of the villains in this series cannot and should not be taken seriously, Dooku remains the real threat thus far. See him shine in "Dooku Captured" or in "The Gungan General" in all his Sith-like glory. While he ultimately gets chumped by his Sith successor Anakin in Episode III, this series can help define the character beyond the lame sendoff in the third movie. 
Worst Villain: General Grievous
Speaking of villains you can't take seriously, General Grievous is probably the most grievous offender of all (pun most certainly intended). Out side of the awesome "Lair of Grievous" episode, the poor droid general is treated about as well as a slapstick background character in a poorly written Jar-Jar routine. Here is a cyborg general who is supposed to be the baddest of the bad on the entire galactic block. Really? Then how come he gets schooled regularly in just about every appearance. This isn't just a problem with the television show; his bumbling exploits have been unfortunately cataloged throughout the expanded universe. If Grievous is a badass, make him a badass! Let's hope the next season will avoid Grievous clunkers like "Destroy Malevolence" and "Duel of the Droids." Grievous is not a simple henchman, but a deadly villain that needs to be used to his fullest potential. At this point, it seems like he can't pull of a victory for the "W" column to save his own life. Let's hope we see a renewed interest in making this character live up to his evilness. 
Overall Impressions
I realize that when it comes to Star wars I am a hugely biased audience. Yes, I am one of those few fans who truly loved the prequels as much as the original trilogy. In nearly every novel, comic book, video game, or other media I can find something redeemable. That's why I have and will continue to be a dependable bankroll for George Lucas for years to come. But... I really loved this season. I generally had to catch the repeater episode that aired on Sunday nights, but the show was jut a treat to watch as a huge fan of Star Wars. I could watch endless seasons of the Clone Wars. The Clone Wars era provides a wide enough canvas for so many stories. I would say that if you are reading this and the prequels turned you off of your love of appreciation of Star Wars, give this animated show a try. It is surprisingly good and consistent. Not every show is perfect, but I think this show really pegs the feel of the original trilogy. The Clone Wars are epic is scope and the future looks bright for Season 2, which is shaping up to focus on the recently introduced bounty hunters, including the ultra-cool looking yet yet less than fully realized character Cad Bane.
The second season should start sometime in the fall. Until then, we have the DVD release to look forward to. Check the show out and visit the official website. Oftentimes, there are several episodes available for your viewing pleasure. Data Clips provide accurate Cliff Notes versions of each episode as well.
Happy viewing and may the force be with you!
(You have to end an article about Star Wars somehow...)
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10.30.2008
Waited for the Trade: A Batch of Shorties
by Dan
With the craziness of my job the last several weeks (thanks stock markets!), I've been completely MIA from most things Internet. Yet, the comics and trades kept on coming. So, here's some shorty reviews of sixteen trades and graphic novels from nine different publishers. From the excellent Black Summer and Immortal Iron Fist to the complete opposite of excellent Black Diamond and Star Wars: The Force Unleashed plus plenty in between.
Army @ Love Vol. 2: Generation Pwned – More often than not, I love Rick Veitch’s writer/artist work. But after giving up on the critically acclaimed Can’t Get No, I was worried going into Army @ Love. Thankfully, this has been an awesome satire book with plenty of sex, drugs and war. A wonderfully crafted series that ended all too soon (there is a second “season” out now, but I’ve read that it goes in a very different, yet interesting, direction). B+
Authority: Prime – Authority fights StormWatch and it’s all Bendis’ fault. I always knew that guy was up to something! Wait, Bendix, not Bendis. Eh. Much less interesting now. An okay check in with the WildStorm universe, but after the excellent Authority Revolution it’s a clear step down in quality. C+
Black Diamond – For a story about a cross-country, raised superhighway they spend WAY too much time on anything but the cross-country, raised superhighway. Overall, this was really disappointing. The art at the beginning was just not my thing, but when it became more iconic and more graphic designer-y at the end, I really enjoyed it. D-
Black Summer – This was just an awesome Warren Ellis series. Mostly, I saw it to be Ellis' final word on The Authority and what a terrible path they would eventually have taken. Gory and violent with lots of commentary about the U.S. government. Great stuff. A
Classic Battlestar Galactica – I don’t know why, but I still dig the original Battlestar stuff more than the new. Granted, I lost track of the new show after the first season and Dynamite flooding the market with “New” Battlestar books has been too overwhelming to follow. Thankfully, Rick Remender (a fave writer thanks to Dark Horse’s Fear Agent) was let loose on the old characters and creates a fun episode of the classic show. B
Criminal Macabre: My Demon Baby – I was regretting this purchase before I read it, as I couldn't really remember how I felt about the first two collections I read years ago (apparently there's been two more that I missed). That said, I completely dug this four-issue story. Niles has a lot of Ellis in his lead character, Cal McDonald. Lots of dark humor fun and I may have to figure out what the other two books are and grab those. B
Immortal Iron Fist Vol. 2: The 7 Capital Cities of Heaven – I’ve never been an Iron Fist or Heroes for Hire or Kung Fu fan. Ever. And yet, I completely and thoroughly enjoy this title and all its Iron Fist-tastic history. I did get a little confused with who was who, including the reveal at the end that references the annual included earlier in the collection. So, sometimes there is too much history and too many characters to keep straight, but that just makes me want to sit down and read Brubaker and Faction’s entire run once volume three comes out. Great art from Aja too. This is quality comics. A-
Maintenance Vols. 1 & 2 – This Oni series just makes me giggle. Thanks to Customer Appreciation Day (aka Free Comic Book Day) for finding this one. Reading these on the can is fun, but got surreal when our trusty janitors took an adventure into the can. B+
Mini Marvels: Rock, Paper, Scissors – Turns out I've read a bunch of these shorts featuring the Bullpen Bits characters and, in all honesty, it's just not that funny the second time around. Some of the later stories that riff on Marvel events like Civil War and World War Hulk are amusing, but overall this just doesn't hold up to multiple reads. B-
New York Four – Brian Wood and Ryan Kelly do it again. Although I was frustrated by the fact that there could be a lot more story told and, more than likely, it won't happen. B+
Power Pack: Day One – A fun revamp of the kids' origin story. I've never read the original version, but I'm sure this has been updated to be, ya know, entertaining. Anyone that's been reading this series of mini-series will enjoy this about as much as the others. I'm really looking forward to the Skrulls digest though. B-
Star Trek: The Return of the Worthy – The last reprint Titan did of the old DC version of the original Trek. The main story about The Worthy was a completely predictable, 100% Trek message type of story. Not bad, but nothing new either. C+
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed – When I preordered this, I was already dropping the last of the Dark Horse titles, Legacy, from my pull list. I figured this was a last shot at Dark Horse’s current Star Wars universe (although I am checking out the current Clone Wars mini). Even more concerning was the fact that this book was based on the video game of the same name and was serving as a way to fill in some of the back-story. Unfortunately, the book reads like a video game with all the paces and boss challenges included. This is definitely not for anyone but fans of the game, and even then I’m not sure it’s good on any level. D
Too Cool to be Forgotten – Very cool story that gets somewhat sidetracked/rushed at the end in order to wrap up the main ideas about father/son even though 90% of the book was just about the son. I get what Robinson was going for, and he succeeds for that 90%, but I wish the end had been drawn out or built up to better. A-
Wolverine: Death of Wolverine – This collection starts off interesting enough with Jason Aaron and Howard Chaykin’s “Man in the Pit” issue. Wolverine has been captured and put in a pit where he’s shot a few hundred times every 15 minutes to keep him subdued. The rest of the collection is Marc Guggenheim and Chaykin’s Logan Dies story, which rewrites Wolverine’s healing powers as a literal fight with Death every time he’s extremely injured. A bit odd, but, like the first story interesting. Unfortunately Chaykin’s art is incredibly distracting – sketchy and blocky with odd close ups. B-
Wolverine: Get Mystique – Hey, a Wolverine story that actually ties in to current continuity! Wolverine is chasing down Mystique after her betrayal during Messiah CompleX. Cool enough of an idea. Unfortunately, it gets a bit convoluted due to writer Jason Aaron throwing them into the middle of Iraq and Afghanistan for no real reason other than those are topically locations. C
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8.18.2008
Star Wars: The Clone Wars - A BG Review
by Betsy
My three-and-a-half year old son, Jack, is a huge Star Wars fan. This weekend, he was able to experience the joy that many of us remember from our childhoods - that is, seeing a brand new movie from our favorite francise for the very first time on a big screen.
I'm not ashamed to admit that I felt much of the same excitement. As a long-time Star Wars fan myself, I love the moment when that John Williams score first kicks in. But unlike Jack, I was feeling some trepidation about this movie. I have felt that initial geeky excitement, only to be burned three times by disappointing prequels.
So, what would two fans - one three and a half, one thirty-tree and a half - think of Star Wars: The Clone Wars? Click on the link, genious.
The movie takes place between Episode II and Episode III of the non-animated movies. Anakin is introduced to a new apprentice, a young girl named Ahsoka. The two of them are charged with rescuing the kidnapped son of Jabba the Hutt, in the hope of improving relations between the Jedi and the Hutts as an advantage in the ongoing Clone Wars.
Where the prequels spent an enormous amount of time explaining the politics behind the Clone Wars, this movie pretty much goes from one battle scene to the next, which is a vast improvement. Jack was really into it, cheering, "Get him, Anakin! Go, Ahsoka!" I was less impressed by it - although the action scenes were a lot of fun, there was no real feeling of innovation. Episode II had its faults, but it did allow us to see a huge group of Jedi, lightsabers drawn, in the midst of a gigantic fight. The Cartoon Network's Clone Wars shorts were even better, particularly a battle between Anakin and Ventress that could have come from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. The action scenes in Clone Wars lacked that creative spark.
I really didn't like the style of animation that was used in the movie. Considering the technology available today, in which Finding Nemo looks practically real, having such artifical looking characters was a strange choice. I felt like I was watching a video game the entire time.
Only a few of the cast of the live movies were used in this one, to mixed effect. James Arnold Taylor played Obi-Wan like an imitation of Ewan McGreggor, but Matt Lanter was a vast improvement over Hayden Christensen as Anakin. His chemistry with apprentice Ahsoka (voiced by Ashley Drane) was a million times more believable than that between Christensen and Natalie Portman in any scenes the two of them had together. I also liked the fact that female characters played a larger role in this movie, and that one of the clone troopers, Captain Rex, actually had a bit of a personality. Jack obviously agreed, as he told me that he wanted action figures of Captain Rex and Ventress.
Clone Wars was written by Henry Gilroy, Steven Melching, and Scott Murphy - in other words, not by George Lucas. As a result, the dialogue - while not exactly Shakespeare - was considerably better. Attempts to break the tension with humor, particularly with the hapless droid army, were considerably more effective than C-3PO being dragged behind R2-D2 and saying, "what a drag."
Critics are slamming this new movie, and I can honestly say that Jack and I enjoyed it a lot more than they did. Jack declared that it was a "nice, nice movie," and "really cool, Mommy," and "We should buy this when it comes out on DVD." He actually got out of his seat and danced to the music that played over the credits. I am less enthusiastic. It's a far cry from the original trilogy, better than the prequels, but not nearly as good as the Cartoon Network cartoons. Jack would give it an A, but I'll settle for a C+
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8.16.2008
8.14.2008
From Top to Bottom #16: Marvel's Star Wars Greatest Hits
by Matt
Welcome to the 16th edition of the long running and Emmy winning "From Top to Bottom" column! Every week I will look at something within the comics industry and give you my opinion on what I think is the best and what I think ranks amongst the bottom-feeders.
Last week, I looked at the Top and Bottom of Comic Book Comforts. Comics that acted like they were comfort foods. These were comic books (mini-series in particular) that do the same thing. They make me feel happy every time I read them and I can read them anytime. Which is why I named that column the way I did. This week's column, in celebration of Star Wars week (and to give Brandon a break from all the writing!) I decided to take a peek back to the past when I was a kid and I collected Star Wars comics from Marvel. For this column I am going to do something a little different. I am going to revisit my Top 3 Marvel Star Wars comics that I remember loving and then my Bottom 3 and we'll see how they held up.
I love Star Wars. I grew up with Star Wars, I was lucky enough to see all the films in the theatre and I was hooked. I collected the toys and would play Star Wars with my friends all the time. I remember when my dad came home from work and brought me a slurpee and a Star Wars comic! It was Star Wars #23 and this helped pave the way to my addiction to comic books in general. I collected the Star Wars religiously until Return of the Jedi and quit shortly after. I was so happy when Dark Horse collected the entire Marvel run in a series of trades. Some of the stories hold up, some others do not and some others are always going to be cheesy. Here are my Top 3 Marvel Star Wars stories along with what I consider to be Jar Jar Binks-like. Again, these picks were based on my favorites when I was a kid, we'll see after re-reading them if they still hold up. And those stories I hated as a kid? We'll see if I still hate them.
3) Star Wars #38
Riders in the Void
This issue was supposed to be the first part of the Empire Strikes Back adaptation but it was delayed and we got a dreaded fill-in issue only this became one of my favorites. Luke and Leia were on a mission when they were attacked by an Imperial Star Destroyer. They barely escaped after being attacked and wound up beyond the galaxy and into the starless void. They were snagged by a strange, living ship and subjected to being tested. The ship then decides to help them go home but the Empire has found them. Michael Golden provided some terrific art on this, his rendition of the Star Destroyers blasting the alien ship was awesome. And I still find this story awesome, the art holds up and now I understand what is going on more. Still a great fill-in.
2) Star Wars #33-37
Saber Clash/Dark Lord's Gambit
Baron Tagge wanted to be more favored to the Emperor than Darth Vader and this story showed how cunning and evil Darth Vader is and how heroic Luke was. Tagge and Luke dueled in the first part of this story and Luke showed mercy and how good at dueling he was by destroying his cybervision and rendering him helpless. Like Darth Vader had done before him. The story leads to both the Empire and the Alliance courting the Tagge family for assistance, only this is just a trap to get Luke. Luke and Vader duel in a fantastic fight and in the end, Luke kills Vader but we find that it wasn't Vader, it was a Sith illusion, it was really Baron Tagge. I cannot explain it all, you just have to track down this story. It certainly holds up, in fact I get this story more now that I am older and I can understand it.
1) Star Wars #60-63
Screams in the Void/Pariah
Ah, Shira Brie. I loved this character when she was introduced. She made a perfect rival to Leia for the affections of Luke and she was tough as nails. In this storyline, the Rebels capture a bunch of TIE Fighters and Luke leads a team (including Shira Brie) in the TIE Fighters to destroy special Teezl, which was a communication beacon that allowed the Empire to communicate instantaneously. They attack the Imperial Fleet and during the battle the communication between the Rebels goes dead. Luke finds the Teezl but there is a TIE fighter there, he uses the Force to determine if it is friendly and it is not so he shoots down the TIE Fighter and destroys the Teezl. Luke then discovers that pilot of the TIE that Luke destroyed was Shira Brie. So he goes on a quest to find out who Shira Brie is and the answer shocked me! I loved this run because the art from Walt Simonson and Tom Palmer was absolutely fantastic and the stories were absolutely fun. I remember these Star Wars comics the most!
I liked those Star Wars stories as much as I remembered I enjoyed them. In fact, I enjoyed re-reading my #2 selection a lot more than I thought I would. They were as good as I remember. And now for the Bottom 3, the Star Wars comics that I really disliked when I was a kid. They were not as horrible as I remember but I still don't care for these stories. 
3) Star Wars #46
The Dreams of Cody Sunn-Childe
Lando and Chewbacca are searching for Han when they traveled to another dimension that was home to the legendary Rebel warrior Cody Sunn-Childe. Sunn-Childe no longer wants to fight when he finds out that he has this mystical ability to create this dimension. The Empire finds them and Cody unleashes his powers and destroys Star Destroyers, he realizes that this is not the way and decides to be true to his beliefs and lets him and his followers and city be destroyed. Lando and Chewbacca escape and the Imperials are stuck in that dimension. Did I still dislike it? It was better than I remember but I still am not a fan of magic or mystical stuff like the monster that could destroy a Star Destroyer. I can tolerate the Force and some magical, mystic forces in Star Wars but as a kid I thought this was over the top. 
2) Star Wars #67
The Darker
On the planet Arbram, R2-D2 gets lost and C3-P0, Plif and Chewbacca follow to see where he is. They find the Darker, an evil being. They fight the creature and Chewbacca lays a smackdown on the Darker and kills him. I still don't like this story. When I was a kid, I would play Star Wars and it was always the Rebellion versus the Empire. I never came up with stories like this and I couldn't tolerate this type of story. Just seemed stupid to me.
1) Star Wars Annual #2
Shadeshine
Luke, C3-P0 and Lando are escaping from Stormtroopers when they find a gold statue of Han Solo. I didn't get too far when I read this because I came across a panel that freaked me out and to this day I cannot look at it. Go ahead and call me chicken but I didn't re-read this annual because I was creeped out. Check out the panels below: BRRRRRR!
The Dark Horse series of trade paperbacks was well worth getting this nostalgic gems back in my hands and now I can read the full collection. Surprisingly, they all do hold up pretty well. I enjoy pulling these books off my bookshelf and reliving my childhood. What ones were your favorites?
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8.13.2008
Make Love Like a Wookie
by Brandon
Want to get your freak on with a lady, but want to make it a memorable, meaningful experience for both of you? Let Dr. Brandon give you a lesson in love. Wookie love! I want to teach you all of the tantric sex methods that have been taught on Kashyyyk for generations. Though feared for their fierceness on the battlefield, many people do not know that they have a penchant for virility in the bedroom. This humble guide will arm you with all the talents you need to make whoopee like an ace Wookie!
Get to know your partner.
Wookies aren’t exactly known for their verbosity in or outside the bedroom. The even have a reputation for just getting what they want, while ignoring their partner’s desires. Despite this sometimes unfair situation, there are several things that you can do to improve communication in the bedroom with your partner. If she asks if you would like her to put on something sexy, don’t just shrug or throw her impassively on the bed and begin getting your groove on. Simply say something nice like, “WAA WAAA WARGH!” or “MWAH WAH RAWH WAH!” This will let her know that you think her opinions are important and that you want her input.
Embrace your body hair.
Typically, an excess of body hair is cringe inducing flaw that many women find to be horrendously uninviting. But perk up! You’re reading an article that will get you bedded by chicks that dig the surplus hair currently residing on your back, chest, appendages, or nether regions! This overabundance of hair isn’t to be seen as a negative. Oh no. It’s an asset on the Wookie Love market. Just think of the kinky games you can bring into foreplay by being just a bit shaggy! Love braids, anyone? You bet! For those ladies that enjoy long cuddling sessions before and after lovemaking, your hirsute body will provides comfort she can’t find outside of a zoo or a cheap New York street vendor.
Avoid shower, spa, and hot tub situations. Though being hairy is definitely a plus for Wookie style lovemaking, I would almost categorically recommend that you avoid all contact with water. Though scenic watery locales can provide extra romance to nearly any romantic encounter, it can only lead to tears and anguish in the case of a Wookie. Wet, soppy fur aside, the real issue is the smell. Wet hair is wet hair, and typically long, flowering hair like that of a Wookie definitely carries a scent. Remember, the goal is to woo the woman, not make her wrinkle her nose. If you must take your activities outdoors, Wookies typically feel more comfortable in the forest. If you can find some nice wooded areas you will be on the hyperspace route to supreme happiness in no time.
Don’t be afraid to growl.
Low guttural noises have been a large part of human society for years. Wrestling, Animal Planet programming, Vin Diesel movies, and hot, primal sex all require growling. Growling can significantly enhance the lovemaking experience while adding an air of animal wildness to the mix. Just don’t get carried away. Growls work best if they are released in 3 to 7 second spurts. Anything under makes it seem like a belch, and anything over that threshold just sounds like you are faking it. 
Establish a first-rate O-Face.
Wookies have been known for their brutal visages. It can be tough to show excitement when you have the face of a stone cold killing beast. Women have often reported feeling distant and sad after making love with someone well versed in Wookie love making skills because it can be too rough. Sure, women who seek out the Wookie type know what they are getting into, but that doesn’t excuse you from taking a shred of responsibility in the act. When in the middle of achieving climax, it is not appropriate to growl angrily like you have just been refused service at a Mos Espa bar. Slamming your fists down on the body of your lover like you have just lost a game of Dejarik to a couple of droids is also a no-no. As Yoda said, you must learn some control. Even in a galaxy far, far away, orgasms are an exciting, passionate response intended to be enjoyed, not feared. The best advice I can give you is to practice, practice, practice. Get in front of mirror and practice a passionate, yet loving O-face. Your partner will appreciate it.
Be careful with that mouth, Chewie.
If one truly adopts a Wookie lifestyle, they have to be careful with their newly sharpened teeth. You can’t just go slobbering around your usual haunts, if you know what I mean. It may help to get some fruits to practice smooching on at first. Melons obviously work best, but other smaller fruits can give you accurate dimensions of your maw’s reach. Just be mindful that even though you are a menacing carnivore, you are also a lover, and lovers seldom draw blood. 
Be choosy with potential mates.
You’re a big hunk of Wookie man that attracts all sorts of attention from the fairer sex. So what? Don’t jump on the first thing promises to take you on the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs. Select your bedroom crew member (or members) as exclusively as you would a life debt. But don’t be too afraid to take a chance. If you turn down those Twi’lek twins now, who knows when another opportunity for some hot action like that will come up again?
In the end, making love like a Wookie is more about attitude than anything else. Don’t let other people’s judgments color your self-image. Don’t fret over the details and just let your Wookie come out of you naturally. You will know you have succeeded when the ladies continue to show up after you refuse to clean your tree hut.
Good luck out there, would-be-Wookies. It’s a tough galaxy out there, but you can succeed too!
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8.11.2008
The Prequels: Star Wars or Star Bores?
by Yassir and Brandon
Yas - To say I am a fan of the original Star Wars trilogy would be a massive understatement. I based my dissertation for my degree on Star Wars. I have watched these films thousands of times and I still consider them to be my favourite movies. I KNOW that there are tons of films better in terms of direction, plot and well, everything...BUT to ME these films are my favourites. Deal with it.
I dreamt and speculated about the prequels since 1983. I still remember watching the trailer for The Phantom Menace. I'm getting goosebumps even now just writing this. I was completely blown away; my beloved Star Wars was back.
What a shame that it turned out to be the biggest disappointment in cinematic history. To me, anyway....
Over to you Brandon!
Brandon - Like Yassir, Star Wars has been my favorite film for as long as I can remember. It's not just a film series for me, though. I've put massive amounts of time, thought, and money into this epic mythology. However, I never presumed that this trilogy was made specifically for me. Sure, like most fans, I would spend long hours with friends coming up with potential sequel ideas. But I always kept the healthy knowledge that if anything more from George Lucas, it would be his vision alone. I love Star Wars as a story, but I don't presume to control its creative destiny.
I was absolutely elated when the prequel trilogy was announced. The idea of exploring the back story of Anakin Skywalker was great. Everyone knew what the ending was, but so much of the past was covered in mystery.
Unlike many fans, I found myself thoroughly enjoying the trilogy. I think it largely held true to the heart of the original films. I would be lying if I said there weren't elements of the prequels that didn't disappoint me, but those instances are minor. I feel like the Prequels have made the whole Star Wars universe more cohesive. I think the prequels add more to the Star Wars galaxy than it takes away. We are better off as fans having them than not having them.
Yas - I see what Brandon is saying in that this is and always will be Lucas' baby. What I'm arguing, and what I passionately believe, is that Lucas phoned the prequels in. He lost his touch. Yes, this is his vision but the old Lucas who had it all to prove would not have made these prequels. Where did he go wrong? Where do I start? Wellllllll:
Brandon -
Yas - Well argued, my man, but as much as I agree that Star Wars is Lucas' baby I still feel that another director would have benefitted the movies invaluably. After all it didn't hurt Empire did it?
And I never wanted Anakin to be evil straight away. It needed to be fleshed out and gradual but I don't think Lucas pulled it off at all. The big turn was because Mace was gonna arrest The Emperor? And even then when Anakin killed Mace he just suddenly pledges allegiance? Sorry, didn't work. And no, I do not think the preceding films made this course of events at all credible. The corruption you speak of simply did not feel believable.
Brandon - I definitely agree with you that the corruption of Anakin could be a bit more believable, but you're discounting his slaughter of the Tusken Raiders and his two fights with Dooku. Anakin wrestled with his anger before Windu ever walked into Palpatine's office.
Yas - Oh, I'm not discounting that at all and that (the Tusken slaughter) was particularly done well but I still maintain that the final push that made him turn was not believable. To make matters worse the dialogue and acting was laughable and pathetic.
To wrap up, I will always remain a massive Star Wars fan. Whilst I did not love the prequels and wished that they were even better than the original trilogy I do concede that there have been additions that I welcomed, such as Padawans, the stuffiness and staidness of the Jedi Council, Pod Racing and Yoda with a lightsaber.
But ultimately the prequels were a failure (in my opinion, I hasten to add).
I'm off now to watch my beloved Holy Trilogy™.
Brandon - I think that you're right. It could have been done better. Therein lies some of the problem with the acceptance of the Prequels with fans. Everyone knew the outcome of the Prequels before they saw one minute of footage. Anakin becomes Darth Vader. Yet, we all had built in expectations of how that should happen. Did it live up to expectations? Probably not! As Star Wars fans often do, they are looking at this through rose colored Stormtrooper helmets.
As for me, I'll stick with the entire saga.
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