Summer Reading, pt. 5

by Brandon

The penultimate article of my summer reading series has arrived! That lusty picture to the left isn't here just to fit our monthly T&A quotient! No sir, we have more taste than that around these parts.

My monthly shipment of new comics arrived Monday afternoon and I was stoked to read up on all the things I'd seen floating around the vast Internet the past few weeks. The first things I read were my Marvel titles. I'm a shameless Marvel Zombie, I can admit to that, but I would be a liar if I didn't say that some of the Marvel books I have been reading have been a little lackluster lately.

But was I disappointed or elated this month? Read on.



The Invincible Iron Man #15
What can I say about the "World's Most Wanted" arc that I haven't already said? The plodding storyline continues on into part 8. I don't mind a longer story if there is actually a story to tell. But Invincible Iron Man has become a book where Tony Stark is on the run... and that's pretty much it. This story could have easily been condensed down, but because it has to fit within the framework of the Dark Reign non-event event, we get a seemingly unending stream of escapes and near-misses. Tony Stark may be losing his mind, but I'm losing my patience. Do something here, Fraction. Anything. Please?

Frank Castle: The Punisher #72
Most of the Punisher Max arcs are serious and grounded in a harsh reality that is hard to take at times. But Garth Ennis wisely broke up the intensity every now and then with a humorous arc. Victor Gischler deftly follows in Ennis' footsteps here by giving the reader fun, yet characteristically violent romp with Frank Castle in "Welcome to the Bayou." Stylistically, this reminds me of the film 2,000 Maniacs on some level. There isn't a supernatural angle working here, but the idea of Podunk rednecks in the Louisiana Bayou trapping outsiders for their own nefarious purposes is ridiculous and entertaining all at once. There are several laugh out loud lines here, surprisingly delivered by Frank Castle. Goran Parlov, Punisher Max veteran artists, provides complimentary art to the outlandish send up. The appearance of the gangbanger in the back of Frank's car at the end of the issue is sure to throw a new wrench into the hectic story. This book is highly recommended if you want to find a solid book with dark humor.

Punisher #7
D-listers unite! Ah... Rick Remender apparently has plans to turn Frank into Frankenstein in his upcoming "Rest in Pieces" arc, but for now readers have to settle for Frank icing the D-List All-Stars the Hood has assembled to take out Punisher. The thing that makes Punisher work so well in the Marvel Universe is that he was very different from your average costumed bear. He didn't deal with the fantastical all that much despite it being right next door. He was detached from the spandex set, but had a purpose. I just don't see that purpose coming out of this incarnation of Punisher. Frank Castle gunning after the D-Lister All-Stars just doesn't seem right or appropriate for the character. This just doesn't feel right. If the preview images are any indication, that feeling of trepidation is going to stick around for a little while.

Ultimatum #5
Speaking of feelings of trepidation, the final issue of Ultimatum finally hit the shelves last week. The verdict? Ugh. To be fair, it was a lot better than I expected. Though it seemed like half the book's pages were splash-pages (I wish I were exaggerating), Loeb has set up an interesting environment for the post-Ultimatum Ultimate universe. Let's all just forget the fact that he had to commit character genocide in order to establish this setting, but it worked. Mutants are on the run and heroes everywhere are dead. A vacuum has been created story wise and that can be fertile ground for storytelling in the near future. But was it worth it? Loeb has been criticized up and down, and rightly so, for his wholesale butchering of the Ultimate Universe. There are too many cooks in the kitchen now and with any luck he will be exiting out through the back. With Millar, Bendis, and Ellis at the helm for the Ultimate Comics relaunch, perhaps fans can expect better and brighter days ahead for the Ultimate Universe.

Ultimatum Spider-Man Requiem #2
The story here was solid, but like the previous issue, it seemed more like a rejected story from the regular run. J. Jonah Jameson was a great choice for narrating this story, but the narration doesn't have the weight it should have. Hulk meets Spider-Man, they fight, and Hulk shows a human side. You can find a thousand Hulk stories out there like this. Why was this one so special? Because Spider-Man was there? Because a busload of kids got saved? Come on. Ultimate Spider-Man can do better than this. Maybe it will in the future, but for now these last few issues of volume one have done nothing to add to the great stories that came before it.

X-Force #17
This beginning of this issue disappointed me some. Messiah War was more dud than stud, and here we get transported back to the climax of the previous arc t wrap things up there. It was a bit confusing for me to remember what had happened a few months prior to this and why I should care. The Leper Queen climax wasn't even a climax... it just kind of ended.To quote the actual book, "boom." I'm not terribly impressed with that particular framing device, but I'll live. At least I hope I do. Things get messy quick for the team when they get back. The pace of the book is frantic and that works well within the scope of what is going on at the UN and on the streets. Any hope of this team being kept a little secret has to be vanishing fast if the pages of this issue are any proof. By the end of the issue, this title was back into my good graces with its action and frenetic pacing.


X-Men Legacy #226
This issue marks the beginning of a new era for X-men Legacy. Rogue's team barely has a chance to breathe before being thrust into the actions of the Utopia crossover. Though the issue wasn't a bad read, it seemed like Rogue, Danger, and Gambit spent the entire issues putting out little fires instead of actually focusing on the main blaze. Like Elvis, Jesus, and Santa Claus, they were just everywhere. It was like Mike Carey got ADD during the writing of this crossover. There is a lot going on around town, I'm sure, but a more focused approach could help flesh out this book. And this book has been very focused in the past year.

Uncanny X-Men #513
I'm not going to mince words here; I think Fraction got moved to the big leagues a bit too quickly with Uncanny X-Men. I know I've mentioned it before, but Uncanny X-Men should scream UNCANNY EFFIN' X-MEN! This does not scream that. This barely whimpers it. This issue finds the uncanny X-Men wacthing the action... on television. What? This is UNCANNY EFFIN' X-MEN! Where's the larger than life action? Instead, we get a lot of scenes with mutants we don't give a rat's ass about. Adam X? What rock did they find that loser under? Trust me, we x-fans don't give a shit about Adam X. I know I was kind of hoping his ass would get handed to him by someone big like Ares. Maybe his head will get smashed in or ripped in half. I don't know, but it would be cool. Let's work on that, guys.


I'll be back in a few days with the final article on my summer reading habits. I'll be reviewing the most recent issues of Fables, Savage Dragon, Batman & Robin, Detective Comics, the various Star Wars titles, and Conan. Until then...

Read more!

Wolverine Plot Generator

by Brandon
Wolverine is one of those characters fans just love to hate. For better or worse, Wolverine really is one of those characters that seems to just be everywhere. Many people like to slack off on the character in public while they secretly opine for him behind closed doors. There's no denying the character is just slightly overused in the Marvel Universe. But hey, why not? The character can move a book like hotcakes. There's definitely a market out there for stories involving the ol' knucklehead. There are only so many ways you can write Wolverine stories and yet they keep coming. There are commonalities between Wolverine stories. Many of the stories are rife with cliches. Some are just downright pitiful in their formulaic mechanics. But never fear! You too can write the most mundane Wolverine story to ever grace a Guardians of the Galaxy issue! With this hand-dandy Wolverine Plot generator you can have Wolverine riding on his motorcycle in no time trading fisticuffs with Sabertooth or some other villain.


The Protagonist...
There is really only one type of protagonists in Wolverine stories; Wolverine. The thing any hack has to sort out is whether Wolverine will be in costume or in his civvies. If you go with a costume, the decision then lies in what type of costume. Do you go for the brown and red? How about the blue and yellow? Maybe the X-Force black and gray? Whichever one you go with, it's sure to impress any Hand ninjas or Marauders you met up with in your story. If you decide to go the civilian clothing route, please, please, please make sure he's a white shirt, bluejeans, and a leather jackets. A hat is optional, but no other clothes need apply.



The Antagonist(s)...
Wolverine has many, many antagonists you can choose from. With a population of over 6.6 Billion people on the planet, Wolverine could spar with just about anyone! And let's face it, this is a comic book! Anyone could be a villain! A guy pops off to Logan in a bar? FIGHT! A super-villain trashing a meeting of a Japanese crime lord's family who has contacted Wolverine as a favor to a trouble Asian woman who needs the tender strong arm of a mutant because she has a death contract out on her based on a meeting Wolverine had with a visiting Buddhist holy monk thirty years before? FIGHT!Cyclops getting him a piece of ass with White Queen? FIGHT! With Wolverine, anyone can be a potential threat. However, provided are a list of villains you may want to choose from...

- Sabertooth: An oldie but goodie. Lots of folks will be familiar with this guy, but think of all the rad/dated dialogue you could write that you and others have already read a million times. The possibilities are limitless in its limitlessness! Again!

- Magneto: Oh yeah. Who wouldn't want to write the Master of Magnetism? Wolverine has ripped this guys head off before. But that was a clone. Or something. An evil spirit? Dammit, I can't remember. He was something, but dude, regardless of evil doppelgangers or junked out mutants, they should totally have a rematch!

- The Hand/Ninjas: Wolverine fighting ninjas never gets old. Sure, it gets a bit boring. And yes, the eastern mysticism and witticisms do get a bit strained, but come on, it's ninjas! And Wolverine! How freaking awesome is that?

- Cyber: This is the poor man's Terminator... or is it the Terminator's poor man? Either way, this guy has a major mad-on for Wolverine. Like Sabertooth, you don't even need a reason for these two to fight, but adding in Daken or some ancient sword couldn't hurt.



The Setting...
Wolverine is a proverbial Renaissance Man when it comes to settings. From to the tropical to weird, the wild to the tame, from Space to the N-Zone, Wolverine is such an adaptive character to any environment. He's like a rabbit, but not. Because rabbits are wusses. Wolverine is not. Just FYI. Here are just a few places you can throw Wolverine;

- Road Trip: It never hurts to start a Wolverine story off with the main man riding on his motorcycle. Whether it be through a forest or city, it's just so refreshing to see riding his bike, the wind whipping through his claws.

- The Savage Land: The jungles of the Savage Land are wild and savage. The Savage Land is like, um, a metaphor for how wild and savage Wolverine is. I think. Wolverine is a savage beast. Savage! The Savage land is a land of savage beasts. The savagery unleashed by any savagely set story in the Savage Land would be so savage that Wolverine would have to unleash a savage rage!

- Bar/Truck Stop: Wolverine isn't your typical pansy. He doesn't go frat housing with your typical fraternity lowlifes who enjoy paying for each others company with Daddy's trust fund while they create memories whilst singing Jimmy Buffet's back catalog. No, Wolverine likes to go to the seediest bar or truck stop as only the great true north strong and free can provide. If Wolverine isn't picking up lot lizards, he's at least got to be busting heads over some local yokel's ignorant attitudes towards "muties." If you want to add extra spice to the scene, have Juggernaut or Sabertooh bust into the bar. From there, these scenes should just write themselves.

- San Francisco: This whole move to San Fransisco during the Manifest Destiny "non-event event story" has been lackluster. Wolverine just needs to spice up the town a little. Sure, he's already had his obligatory "I'm taking over an ancient order of kung fu hooligans while getting a cool new shamanistic mentor to teach me the true ways to become the Karate Kid" story with the Wolverine: Manifest Destiny miniseries. But what we need more of is a second "I'm taking over an ancient order of kung fu hooligans while getting a cool new shamanistic mentor to teach me the true ways to become the Karate Kid" story. Then, to really make sure the reader get the point, it is highly necessary that Marvel push for a third "I'm taking over an ancient order of kung fu hooligans while getting a cool new shamanistic mentor to teach me the true ways to become the Karate Kid" story.m That would so rock!

- Weapon-X Installation: When all else fails at the laptop, your blank word processing page mocking your every attempt to squeeze adamantium out of the keys, there is one place where any Wolverine writer can go to find the El Dorado of all Wolverine stories; Weapon X! While the Russians and Americans were building nuclear weapons and launch facilities, the Canadians were wisely spending their time building bunkers to test cool things out on soon-to-be-cool comic book characters. I mean, there have only been 1,326.5 stories dealing with Wolverine going on a vision quest of sorts to one of these fabled facilities where, alas, his innocence was lost. Shed no tears for this, though. Wolverine should simply show, kick some ass, and then swear to never return to any Weapon X facility again. For at least two issues. Maybe three. Check the current solicitations before you promise anything.



The Goal
Wolverine is a busy man. I mean, shit, brutha' shows up in at least fourteen titles a month at a minimum. You have to have goals and objectives to get around that much. Wolverine doesn't strike me as the kind of hero who keeps an updated schedule on his Blackberry, so he has to have a purpose before he gets entangled with the Heroes for Hire this week or Quasar and the Cosmic Rollers next week. Here are some goals that should help Wolverine ease through your story like a hot claw through butter;

- Do it for Jean!: Wolverine should always be pining for his lost redheaded love. This gives him a sense of purpose. A nice flashback of the two coyly flirting in the Danger Room should suffice. Anything that follows such a scene is golden. If Logan thinks that he can make up something to his dead crush, then he'll do it with gusto! There's only one girl Wolverine ever loved, and that was so many years ago. And though he'll never get her out of his heart. She never really loved him back. ... Chrsit! I'm sorry. I just totally channeled Meat Loaf there. Forgive me.

- Save the World!: Nothing quite gets at a superheroes goat like threatening the peace and security of the world. Ending all creation is a motivating activity. Villains threaten to do this all the time, but few can actually pull it off. Someone would have to flood New York or create an alternate world where Charles Xavier is killed and Apocalypse takes over. It would have to be some serious shit to get Wolverine good and pissed off, but it could happen.

- Save Canada!: I wish Canadians could feel a sense of ultra-nationalism. Say what you will about right-wing conservative wackos, but they really do know how to take nationalistic pride to a whole new level of crazy. Wouldn't it be great to read the ultimate patriotic comic book for Canadian nationalism? I would love to see Wolverine wrap himself in a Canadian flag to hold off the bleeding wounds that cover his body as he lashes out at the last of Canada's many enemies. It's time for Wolverine to take his rightful spot alongside Celine Dion as the champion for Canadian values. That's a Wolverine story worth telling!

Read more!

X-Centric: March Madness ...with Mutants

by the General

Have you all heard of a little title called X-Men? Apparently, they are this group of people born with mutant powers who have sworn to protect a world that fears and hates them. I think they are going to be popular one day, so I thought I'd start a monthly column dedicated to reviewing titles starring them. If you are interested in finding out more about these little known characters, read on!



But, before I get into the actual reviews, I thought that, like Doug, I'd give you a little information about my comic collecting habits. I, like a lot of the other contributors on this blog, buy my comics through an online mail order comic site. The upside of this is that I save a good deal of money... the downside is that I don't get my comics until the start of the following month. So, you might notice that the comics I'll be talking about today are all from March. Because of this, I'm not going to be too concerned about **Spoiler Warnings** because, frankly, if you haven't read these comics by now, they probably aren't that important to you.

Also, as you might imagine (given the title of this article), I mainly collect X-titles. I'd probably estimate that 90% of the monthly titles I collect are Marvel titles. Of which at least 75% of those star a cast of merry mutants. Also, since I'm a cheapskate, I usually only collect team books. I mean, why would you want to spend $2.99 to read a book about just Wolverine, when you could spend that same $2.99 and read a book about Wolverine and a bunch of other random characters? Simple Character Quantity Economics.

Finally, instead of reviewing individual titles, I thought I'd try lumping a bunch of titles together so that instead I could focus on talking about larger themes and storylines within those titles. But, enough about me... on to the comics!

The Messiah War Begins!
Discussed: Life and Times of Lucas Bishop #2, Cable #12, X-Force#13, Messiah War Special #1 and Cable #13

I'm pretty sure that, based on the characters involved in this crossover event, that the titular "Messiah" is actually Rob Liefeld. I mean, how else can you explain that nearly every major character he created for Marvel is here? Cable, Domino, Stryfe and even Deadpool. It's like a reunion of the original X-Force cast. And, as if those characters don't keep the Badass Factor™ high enough, they've also thrown in Wolverine, X-23, Bishop, Archangel, Proudstar and the Vanisher... Ok, so maybe not all the characters are badasses.

And, what gets this many Hardcore™ characters together? Fighting over a little girl.

Actually, I've been honestly enjoying the build up to this storyline. But, while I'm enjoying it overall so far, I do have to admit that the execution has been a bit rocky. While most of the issues are holding up their part of the deal (and I'm even a little surprised to be enjoying Life and Times of Lucas Bishop), the Cable issues have been pretty clunky so far. But, I think that the art has mainly been to blame. Ariel Olivetti draws a mean flexing bicep, but his storytelling is often awkward to say the least.

"Y'think?" This is the sort of storytelling that bugs me in Cable. Stryfe and Bishop have teamed up to track down Cable and the Messiah child. And, how do they do that? A walk on the beach, as near as I can tell.

As far as X-Force goes, I think its easily the strongest part of this event. That said, I really hope that they didn't kill of Boom-Boom (see, no spoiler warnings, punks!) like it appears they did. It would be the first time that Kyle and Yost's tendency to kill-off second and third stringers would have really peeved me off... if for no other reason than it would nix my often fantasized about Nextwave Reunion.

Finally, does anyone else think that one of the things they are building to is X-Force splitting off, so that Cyclops no longer leads them?

X-Meeeennnnn iiinnnnn Spaaaaaaace!
Discussed: X-Men: Kingbreaker #4 and War of the Kings #1 & #2

If there's one thing that the Bad Genious' resident Soul-Hole and Ellis-Whore, Dan, hates; it's Space. And, when it comes to the idea of the X-Men in space, I tend to agree with him. I fall into that rare minority that was never really a fan of the Phoenix Saga because so much of it involved the X-Men in space... fighting aliens. Bleh.

That said, (and here's where I show off exactly how big of a hypocrite I can be) I actually have been enjoying the ongoing Vulcan vs. Havok in space storyline that's been running for several years now. Pretty much from the point that Brubaker kicked it off, I've been consistently entertained. And while it's rarely been Great (with a capital "G"), its at least usually Good.

Furthermore, after an exciting finale to Kingbreaker, I'm excited to see the storylines scope expand to become entwined with the Inhuman's own ongoing saga. Bring on the Shi'ar/Kree war! Now, it has to be said that some of the BGers are grousing about the slow start to War of the Kings, but honestly the slow first issue didn't bother me much. Instead, what has me scratching my head is Polaris and Crystal suddenly being all buddy-buddy.

Now, I could be missing somehere, so correct me if I'm wrong: Polaris is Quicksilver's half-sister. But, this is a fairly sketchy relationship that was only established a couple years ago, and hasn't exactly been filled with cheerful family reunions. Crystal is married to Quicksilver... or at least they used to be married, but aren't any more... since Crystal is now getting married to Ronan the Accuser. But, now Polaris is hanging out with Crystal before her wedding, and they are all BFF?!

Oh, and speaking of Ronan. I actually felt sorry for him in the scene with the flowers. Saddest Accuser Ever.

Old New Mutants
Discussed: X-Infernus #4 and Young X-Men #12

You know what else Dan hates? Magic! So, I'm sure he was digging the finale of X-Infernus which was filled with all sorts of magic... not to mention Magik.

These two books are odd ducks, because on one hand they are both trying to resolve their respective storylines, but at the same time they were also just trying to get their ducks in a row for the return of the original New Mutants in their own title next month. In both regards, I think they were capable, but not exceptional.

Frankly, this transition leaves me feeling a little odd. Because, on one hand, I'm eager to see the original New Mutants all return to a monthly title. But, on the other hand, after following the new New Mutant New X-Men Young X-Men through a string of titles, I'm a little worried that those characters are just going to be put out to pasture and forgotten about. Luckily, a lot of the latest generation of X-Men have already shifted to other titles (X-23, Elxir, the Cuckoos, Armor, Pixie and even Dust), and this final issue of Young X-Men ends with "and the adventure continues" sort of finale, so my hopes are high that we'll continue to see them from time to time.

In which case, bring on the old New Mutants!

Ex-centric
Discussed: X-Men Legacy #222 and Uncanny X-Men #507

The X-Universe seems to be missing its center these days. Not only is Astonishing X-Men not shipping regularly (and feeling inconsequential when it does ship); but the events taking place on the fringes of the X-Universe are routinely more interesting than what's going on in the two main titles.

Generally, even if it doesn't feel particularly relevant, X-Men Legacy can be trusted to deliver a solid story mining the depths of X-continuity. But, for the last couple months that doesn't seem to be the case since its gotten bogged down in a silly storyline featuring Danger (because we were all itching for her return) and a group of Shi'Ar junk salvagers. And, zzzzzzz....

Oh, wait, sorry, dozed off there. Anyhow, moving on.

Over in Fraction's Uncanny we are getting a certifiably mixed bag of nuts, and my opinions on the various storylines kicking around in it are equally mixed. The X-Club? Actually entertaining. Colossus' mourning Kitty's death? Tedious. The Sisterhood? I'm a little curious about that. Magneto's return? Too early, but still has my interest. One things for sure, I'll be happier when this title finds its illusive sea-legs again.

Occasionally, other people are right.
Discussed: X-Factor #41 and Captain Britain and the MI13 #11

X-Factor and Captain Britain are both titles that have small, loyal and (most noticably) vocal fan bases that are constantly raving about them. And, both are titles that I tend to run a little hot a cold to. That said, this month, their fans are right about both.

While Peter David's pleading that people "not ruin the surprises online" in the recap page sort of bugs me (because it smacks me of his usual grandstanding tactics), I have to admit that the title has been full of fun twists and turns. This is especially welcome since the last couple years of this title have been bogged down with clumsy crossovers and forced tie-ins to major events. It's nice to see this title slip back into form, and do what it does best.

Meanwhile, for whatever reason, this new Vampire storyline in Captain Britain is working for me. And, I continue to enjoy the way Cornell writes the characters. If I have one complaint, its that I still don't feel like Kirk's art matches the title's tone that well. It just strikes me as a little too bright... but maybe that's more an issue with the coloring. (Insert shrug here.)

This is the end, my friend
Discussed: Ultimate X-Men #100 and Ultimatum #3

Actually, if you are still reading this far into my ramblings, you are a masochist, and I should end things quickly to put you out of your misery. Much the same thing can be said about Ultimate X-Men. This title has been a trainwreck for some time now and I'm glad to see it end.

And, while my reaction to Ultimatum isn't as strong as Brandon's, its still going to give me the perfect jumping off point for this imprint. So, goodbye Ultimate Universe.

And, goodbye till next month, intrepid reader!
Read more!

BG Roundtable: Best & Worst of 2008

by Doug Smith

So, the gang at the Bad Genious was recently sitting around our secret headquarters, eating tater chips and drinking soda pops, when we realized we hadn’t done a roundtable in quite some time. Heck, the last time we did a roundtable, George W. Bush was President!


We quickly decided we should do a “Best & Worst of 2008” round-up. The decision was quick. The putting-together of random thoughts from a bunch of fanboys buzzing on caffeine and junk food? Well, that took a little longer. So, without further ado, I give you…the Best & Worst Comics of 2008!!!

Let’s start with Rory, still riding high from watching his own personal god (small “g”) perform at the Super Bowl…

Rory: Hm. Probably the best was Doctor 13 (although half was in 2007). Worst was Batman RIP.

Doug: That Doctor 13 series was an overlooked gem; I'll wager most people don't even know it exists. It didn't help that it was the back-up feature (in Tales of the Unexpected) to a mediocre Spectre lead story. But there's a trade out there for Doctor 13 and I would highly recommend it.

Brandon: My vote for best comic this year: Punisher #'s 55-60 (“Valley Forge, Valley Forge”).

This was one hell of a swansong for Garth Ennis on the Punisher MAX title. The framing device of using a new Punisher book about his time in Vietnam perfectly framed the story of how a group of military generals is trying to cover up their dirty past. It's a pity Garth Ennis has left this book, but I'm immensely pleased with this story. It's too bad because I feel as if this last arc was overshadowed by the glut of crossovers Marvel has been vomiting up all year.

Doug: I’m definitely suffering from crossover burnout. For the first time in years, I’m looking at some of these crossovers from the Big Two and skipping them. My days as a whore are behind me.

Speaking of whores, here’s our resident X-whore…

The General: I've pretty much just been buying X-titles and trades of things that came out four years ago. And, the X-titles rarely have high moments. They are generally either "decent" or "shitty."

Chris: I thought “Messiah Complex” was really good. Did that come out in 2008?

The General: It ended in January, so really the X-stuff I'd have to consider would all be the stuff that was released after “Messiah Complex”... and that's been a definite mixed bag.

Chris: Okay then and yes, I agree with your assessment. Gonna have to come up with some other stuff then.

While we wait for Chris to put down the chicken wings and come up with some answers, let's check in with our old friend Jon...

Jon Quixote: The Incredible Hulk #165-167 was fantastic.

Editor’s note: Jon is Canadian. This proves my theory that Canada is 35 years behind us in terms of pop culture. He’s also been raving about this “great” new band called Grand Funk Railroad, and he won’t shut up about how much he’s looking forward to Mel Brooks’ next movie, Blazing Saddles.

While we’re on the subject of people that are out of touch, let’s check in with our resident grumpy old man…

Doug: My vote for the best comic of the year goes not to one title, but a whole group of them: I think Marvel has done a great job with their C-list characters in the past year or two.
Immortal Iron Fist may just have been my favorite comic series of 2008, with Nova not too far behind. Guardians of the Galaxy, Captain Britain and MI-13, and The Incredible Hercules are also excellent books. Moon Knight got much better as new writer Mike Benson found his way flying solo. Ms. Marvel continues to be a solid book three years into its run, as does X-Factor. The Inhumans, while not having their own title, continue to play big roles in major Marvel events. Eternals is a strong new series. I wasn't as keen on Ghost Rider, Black Panther, or the just-canceled She-Hulk, but they've all had respectable runs of 30+ issues. Who would have thought, a few years ago, that Marvel would have success with these characters?

On the other hand...2008 was the first year I didn't buy a monthly Avengers series in over 20 years. (I don't count Avengers: The Initiative...it's a good book but it's not really the Avengers.) When I did get sucked into buying New Avengers and Mighty Avengers as part of the Secret Invasion cross-over, it just made me even more upset about the status of my once-favorite series. Those crossovers were a boring waste of time and money, and for the most part, didn't even feature the Avengers! Ah well....Dan Slott arrived on Mighty Avengers this month, so that book is back on my pull list.

The General: I think that Doug's comment about the second tier books being better than the main books is pretty interesting and accurate in many regards.

Editor’s note: I love it when people agree with me. Mostly because it happens so rarely.

The General: I do feel that the main titles have ranged from watered down, to unfocused to just plain boring or bad while many second string characters have had really solid books in the last year or so.

And, I think that holds true for the X-line as well. Uncanny X-Men has had potential, but not found its sea legs. Astonishing X-Men is pretty much irrelevant and uninteresting (the first was to be expected, but the second was the surprise with Ellis writing). The only main X-book that has been any good is X-Men: Legacy... but that's been by effectively turning itself into a second string book focusing on Professor Xavier.

Meanwhile books like X-Force, Cable and Young X-Men, in my opinion, have been more interesting and focused than any of the main titles. And, while they all have their short comings, I find myself reading them often before the main titles.

I would disagree with Doug’s assertion that X-Factor has been strong. In my opinion, all momentum on the title has been undermined by it trying to be tied into every event that comes down the line, which has really caused it to lose focus. The rotating cast of characters and artists has only made matters seem worse. It's pretty close to the chopping block for me.

Mr. Orange: : I'm going to agree with Doug…

Editor’s note: Somebody else agreeing with me? Maybe I should go buy a lottery ticket tonight! Let’s hear that again…

Mr. Orange: I'm going to agree with Doug and Tyler here, the smaller titles have been the best this year; they have been given a lot more leeway and allowed to shine. Books that have spun out of the major events have been really solid, surprisingly so.

I've never read a Deadpool book till Secret Invasion and really enjoyed it, especially as prior to this I’ve not been a fan of Daniel Way's light style of writing. Then there was X-Force, a book I was not expecting to enjoy, but picked up on a whim. It is dark, gritty, and very true to its mandate. So far it has stuck to its guns, and brought along not only action packed stories, but intelligently written ones too.

Though Guardians of the Galaxy hasn't been as great as Nova (which is a hard act to follow), the great scripting of Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning has really brought to life some very obscure characters, especially Rocket Raccoon.





Wow….high praise for a book that features Rocket Raccoon. That seems like as good a spot as any to wrap up our 2008 Best & Worst Roundtable!

Please join us for our next roundtable, which, if Jon Quixote has his way, will have something to do with his declaration that Gordon Lightfoot is the new Dylan.



Read more!

X-Centric: 'Ain't' Ain't a Word, Bub

by the General

When most people see the letters "XXX," there are a number of things might jump into their head. Maybe they think of the Roman numeral for thirty. Or, perhaps, they think of the three letters scrawled on the side of a jug of moonshine. More likely, they think of Vin Diesel (though probably they probably try to forget Ice Cube). But, I'm guessing what you probably think about is the movie rating you find on the back of most films in Doug's DVD collection.

Me? I think "X-Men, X-Men, X-Men." But, then again, I'm a bit X-Centric.

And, being a bit X-Centric, I've realized that it falls upon my shoulders to talk about something that no one else is talking about. Namely, X-Men comics. Yes, folks, I shall shoulder the burden and be the sole person on the vast and varied interweb to tackle the subject of the X-Men. No where else will you find someone expressing their thoughts and opinions on the X-line. In fact, I challenge you to find another blog, message board or fan site dealing with the X-Men! I dare you!

AND, since I am the Lone Ranger of all things X, it also falls upon my heavy shoulders to discuss a distant corner of the X-Universe that rarely receives any attention: Wolverine. Namely, I'd like to point out how Marvel decided that X-Force's first one-shot was an excellent opportunity to showcase this little known mutant in X-Force Special: Ain't No Dog #1. Apparently appearing in three regular titles, being imprisoned by Commies in Uncanny X-Men, fighting skrulls with the Avengers and leading X-Force in their regular title wasn't quite enough for Marvel's crowd-pleasing wombat of self-regenerating fury. So, Marvel has dragged him kicking and screaming into what I believe is his third one-shot of the month. And, looking at the cover, I don't even think that Wolverine wants to be there...


Now, I feel it's worth mentioning that - as a struggling illustrator myself - I'm not one to generally be overly critical of another individual's artwork. But at the same time, after looking at this cover for a bit (which appears to be an uncredited Brian Hitch illustration), I was struggling to determine exactly how Wolverine would assume this position. But, then it hit me! Here's what obviously is going on: After having his left leg surgically removed, Wolverine has been kicked square in the back by Colossus with enough force to break his spine. In addition, the kick has thrown him forward with such velocity that, upon crashing into the X-Force logo, his right arm was snapped out of its socket, causing him to throw back his head in a howl of pain. Simple, really.

But, the question remains: What Wolverine storyline is so important that it warranted it's own X-Force Special? What story was so epic that it couldn't be told in a regular monthly? What major changes occur that shake the very foundation of Wolverine as a character? Well, ***here be spoiler warnings humble viewers*** I'm going to reveal them to you!

Ready for it!

Here it comes!

Wolverine kills a bunch of Purifiers.

Yup. Y'know, like he does in X-Force every month. But, the difference here is that while the monthly X-Force has some actual sense of plot line, here they've replaced it with Logan and Scott calling each other "dicks" for a page or two. (At least, I think they are calling each other "dicks," since calling someone "pound pound pound pound" doesn't quite have the same ring.)

I will say the whole thing is quite nicely illustrated. Though, even as a proud owner of Dead Alive, I'm sort of inclined to think that a half-page panel of Wolverine sawing a man's head in half with his claws might warrant a little more than a "parental advisory" in 9-point condensed font tucked in next to the cover's bar code. But, maybe being T-minus four months away from fatherhood has made me crazy in the head like that.

Also, it bears mentioning that there is also a back-up story featuring Proudstar, Wolverine ... and a bear. This story was primarily memorable for reminding me of Frank Miller and Chris Claremont's first issue of the original Wolverine mini-series, which starts with a nice Wolverine-versus-a-bear sequence. Oh, simpler days.

Oh yeah, there is also a five page preview of Ultimate Origins that is easily the most interesting part of the book.

Honestly, though, I don't want to come off like I'm pooping on the X-Force balloon. In fact, as I've mentioned somewhere else on this blog, X-Force is the series that I genuinely enjoy despite myself. Really, the title has every right to be tedious and completely uninteresting, but somehow it manages to be fascinating ... to me at least.

I think that the key lies in the fact that Craig Kyle and Christopher Yost have figured out how to get a considerable amount of emotional wiggle room out of what could have been a cliched concept of Liefeldian proportions. On paper, the idea of grouping together all the X-titles' various trackers and killers together into a black ops team ("X-Force: Now with 150% more claws­™") seems disastrous. But, Kyle and Yost realize that there's actually some interesting inter-character dynamics to be found here.

Sure, Wolverine is a killer. But, at the same time, he hates that he is a killer (well, despite what you might read in the X-Force Special), and has never been a natural leader. Furthermore, he's trying to help his cloned "daughter" X-23 reform and move away from a life he's already trapped in. And, he hates the idea of two "innocents," Proudstar and especially Wolfsbane, being sucked into his blood drenched world.

Its like he's your uncle telling you to never start smoking, while lighting up himself. And X-23, Proudstar, and Wolfsbane, the cocky youth, have indignantly replied: "Screw you, old man, I'm going to smoke if I want to!" To which Wolverine replies by bumming them a smoke. "Your choice, your funeral."

It's actually a cool angle to take for the team, and there is emotional meat to gnaw on there by focusing on Wolverine's position for once. It also helps that the storyline is also harnessing past continuity in a unique way that tickles my geek button while not (presumably) being too inaccessible to the the passing fan. Even Clayton Crain's art has grown on me with each issue. The coloring errs on the side of murky, and there is an awkward frame here and there, but at other times there is an undeniable sense of atmosphere and drama.

Which is why the X-Force Special probably frustrates me so. Why muddy what is the start to a great franchise with such a forgettable and redundant one-shot? In Marvel's attempt to dry-hump Wolverine's money-bleeding corpse, they only make themselves look cheap and dirty. But, then again, I bought the thing. So, while Wolverine apparently "ain't no dog," the X-fans who bought this apparently are... or at least we are being lead around on a leash like one. Our choice, our funeral, I guess.

Grades: X-Force Special: Ain't Not Dog #1 is a disposable D+. While X-Force #1-#4 have been a brooding and bloody B+.

Read more!

General Reviews 4/23: Snowbound Spiders and Groovy X-men

by The General

Hey folks! It's me again! The General (aka Spongeboy, aka Tyler)! I realized, after posting my last entry, that I never really introduced myself. Nor did I take the time to mention what "General Reviews" was going to be all about. Well, basically, it's my weekly comic review column. I'm a Marvel fan, and (more specifically) I'm an X-Fan. So, each week, I'll be reviewing the comics I picked up on my weekly run to the comic store. If you are an X-Fan, or even just a Marvel fan, this will (hopefully) be the column for you. If you like DC... well, that's Patrick's turf. Anyhow, I'm nearly a week late posting this, so let's get started...


...I just have to say, there's nothing better than curling up at the end of the day with a pile of comics. Well, obviously there are some things that are better. But, when you've got three comics that are as good as these three are; I'm definitely not complaining. Here's the rundown.

X-Force #3 (Kyle, Yost and Crain) - I always feel like I should start my reviews of this title by saying something like "despite myself, I'm actually enjoying this title." But, maybe I should just get over myself and admit that I'm enjoying this title for what it is: A violent tour of the darker corners of the X-universe. But, it's also one that knows what it's doing enough to seed its stories with character moments to keep things from getting too dour. Sure, the title is populated with emotionless killing machines, but it's really the story of Proudstar and Wolfsbane's decent into that world, and their humanity is enough to give the story some emotional core.

On the art side, Crain's art is still too muddy and painterly for my tastes, but he does manage some good cinematic panels. And, truthfully, the art is a good match for the stories tone. Meanwhile, in terms of writing, Kyle and Yost continue to plumb the depths of the X-Universe rogues gallery effectively; and the final reveal of this issue has me looking forward to the second half of this arc. A brooding B.

Uncanny X-Men #497 (Brubaker and Choi) - I've been complaining for the past couple month that this title seems a little like it's treading water until issue #500. But, with this issue, I feel like it's finally clicking for me and I'm eager to see where it's going. What is interesting though, is I still feel like Brubaker is managing to use the same smoke and mirrors as I mentioned he uses so effectively in Captain America last week. Really, when you step back and look at it, not a whole lot happens in this issue, but it's fill with such great character moments and beats that you don't feel like it's padded or "decompressed."

Reading this issue, I feel like I'm actually reading and issue of X-Men circa the early 200's. Brubaker manages to capture the same sense of friendship and banter that I felt Claremont had mastered right around that time period. The flirtatious relationship between Scott and Emma in this issue is fun to read, a is nicely balanced with a well-structured fight scene with Colossus, Nightcrawler and Wolverine. As far as Choi's art goes, I tend to run a bit hot and cold with it, but this issue gets a thumbs up. He's an able storyteller, the coloring isn't overly rendered and there are a few dynamic frames I really responded to. A Brubaker-style B. (Oh, and check out my theory at the end of the entry.)

Amazing Spider-Man #557 (Wells and Bachelo) - There's something to be said for a three-part storyline. It definitely doesn't overstay it's welcome like a six-parter, and I think the short structure allows for a certain economy of storytelling. That said, it also feels like a lot has happened in these last three issue. But, again, maybe that's because they are introducing a new villain at the same time as I was getting up to speed on Spidey's new status quo and supporting case. Regardless, I enjoyed each issue of this arc, but am glad to see it end before my interest waned. Will I pick up the new arc? Well, that depends on the next creative team.

I do want to make mention of how I appreciated the main fight scene between Spider-Man and the Mayan god. I thought the way that the illustration broke the fourth wall in order to show the god "bending space and time" was entertaining. And, I don't think I've seen that particular visual trick used like that in a main stream comic before. I'm not sure if that was in Well's script or was Bachelo's improvisation; but someone deserves a thumbs up for that. (I'm sure that those of you who read the comic know what I'm talking about.) Overall, this arc was a bold and blizzardy B+. Good game.

Spoiler Theory! So, I have a theory about what's going on in Uncanny X-Men. But, I thought I'd just throw it out down here, so that people who don't want their plots spoiled can just skip it. So, if that's you, look away. Anyhow.... Does anyone think that the mystery woman in Uncanny X-Men is the Scarlet Witch? What if the guy is Mastermind? I'm not entirely sure what's going on, but I was thinking that maybe Brubaker is moving the pieces into play so that he can undo M-Day on issue #500 of Uncanny. Just speculation, but it would surely make issue #500an event.

What do you think?

Read more!