X-Centric: March Madness ...with Mutants

by the General

Have you all heard of a little title called X-Men? Apparently, they are this group of people born with mutant powers who have sworn to protect a world that fears and hates them. I think they are going to be popular one day, so I thought I'd start a monthly column dedicated to reviewing titles starring them. If you are interested in finding out more about these little known characters, read on!



But, before I get into the actual reviews, I thought that, like Doug, I'd give you a little information about my comic collecting habits. I, like a lot of the other contributors on this blog, buy my comics through an online mail order comic site. The upside of this is that I save a good deal of money... the downside is that I don't get my comics until the start of the following month. So, you might notice that the comics I'll be talking about today are all from March. Because of this, I'm not going to be too concerned about **Spoiler Warnings** because, frankly, if you haven't read these comics by now, they probably aren't that important to you.

Also, as you might imagine (given the title of this article), I mainly collect X-titles. I'd probably estimate that 90% of the monthly titles I collect are Marvel titles. Of which at least 75% of those star a cast of merry mutants. Also, since I'm a cheapskate, I usually only collect team books. I mean, why would you want to spend $2.99 to read a book about just Wolverine, when you could spend that same $2.99 and read a book about Wolverine and a bunch of other random characters? Simple Character Quantity Economics.

Finally, instead of reviewing individual titles, I thought I'd try lumping a bunch of titles together so that instead I could focus on talking about larger themes and storylines within those titles. But, enough about me... on to the comics!

The Messiah War Begins!
Discussed: Life and Times of Lucas Bishop #2, Cable #12, X-Force#13, Messiah War Special #1 and Cable #13

I'm pretty sure that, based on the characters involved in this crossover event, that the titular "Messiah" is actually Rob Liefeld. I mean, how else can you explain that nearly every major character he created for Marvel is here? Cable, Domino, Stryfe and even Deadpool. It's like a reunion of the original X-Force cast. And, as if those characters don't keep the Badass Factor™ high enough, they've also thrown in Wolverine, X-23, Bishop, Archangel, Proudstar and the Vanisher... Ok, so maybe not all the characters are badasses.

And, what gets this many Hardcore™ characters together? Fighting over a little girl.

Actually, I've been honestly enjoying the build up to this storyline. But, while I'm enjoying it overall so far, I do have to admit that the execution has been a bit rocky. While most of the issues are holding up their part of the deal (and I'm even a little surprised to be enjoying Life and Times of Lucas Bishop), the Cable issues have been pretty clunky so far. But, I think that the art has mainly been to blame. Ariel Olivetti draws a mean flexing bicep, but his storytelling is often awkward to say the least.

"Y'think?" This is the sort of storytelling that bugs me in Cable. Stryfe and Bishop have teamed up to track down Cable and the Messiah child. And, how do they do that? A walk on the beach, as near as I can tell.

As far as X-Force goes, I think its easily the strongest part of this event. That said, I really hope that they didn't kill of Boom-Boom (see, no spoiler warnings, punks!) like it appears they did. It would be the first time that Kyle and Yost's tendency to kill-off second and third stringers would have really peeved me off... if for no other reason than it would nix my often fantasized about Nextwave Reunion.

Finally, does anyone else think that one of the things they are building to is X-Force splitting off, so that Cyclops no longer leads them?

X-Meeeennnnn iiinnnnn Spaaaaaaace!
Discussed: X-Men: Kingbreaker #4 and War of the Kings #1 & #2

If there's one thing that the Bad Genious' resident Soul-Hole and Ellis-Whore, Dan, hates; it's Space. And, when it comes to the idea of the X-Men in space, I tend to agree with him. I fall into that rare minority that was never really a fan of the Phoenix Saga because so much of it involved the X-Men in space... fighting aliens. Bleh.

That said, (and here's where I show off exactly how big of a hypocrite I can be) I actually have been enjoying the ongoing Vulcan vs. Havok in space storyline that's been running for several years now. Pretty much from the point that Brubaker kicked it off, I've been consistently entertained. And while it's rarely been Great (with a capital "G"), its at least usually Good.

Furthermore, after an exciting finale to Kingbreaker, I'm excited to see the storylines scope expand to become entwined with the Inhuman's own ongoing saga. Bring on the Shi'ar/Kree war! Now, it has to be said that some of the BGers are grousing about the slow start to War of the Kings, but honestly the slow first issue didn't bother me much. Instead, what has me scratching my head is Polaris and Crystal suddenly being all buddy-buddy.

Now, I could be missing somehere, so correct me if I'm wrong: Polaris is Quicksilver's half-sister. But, this is a fairly sketchy relationship that was only established a couple years ago, and hasn't exactly been filled with cheerful family reunions. Crystal is married to Quicksilver... or at least they used to be married, but aren't any more... since Crystal is now getting married to Ronan the Accuser. But, now Polaris is hanging out with Crystal before her wedding, and they are all BFF?!

Oh, and speaking of Ronan. I actually felt sorry for him in the scene with the flowers. Saddest Accuser Ever.

Old New Mutants
Discussed: X-Infernus #4 and Young X-Men #12

You know what else Dan hates? Magic! So, I'm sure he was digging the finale of X-Infernus which was filled with all sorts of magic... not to mention Magik.

These two books are odd ducks, because on one hand they are both trying to resolve their respective storylines, but at the same time they were also just trying to get their ducks in a row for the return of the original New Mutants in their own title next month. In both regards, I think they were capable, but not exceptional.

Frankly, this transition leaves me feeling a little odd. Because, on one hand, I'm eager to see the original New Mutants all return to a monthly title. But, on the other hand, after following the new New Mutant New X-Men Young X-Men through a string of titles, I'm a little worried that those characters are just going to be put out to pasture and forgotten about. Luckily, a lot of the latest generation of X-Men have already shifted to other titles (X-23, Elxir, the Cuckoos, Armor, Pixie and even Dust), and this final issue of Young X-Men ends with "and the adventure continues" sort of finale, so my hopes are high that we'll continue to see them from time to time.

In which case, bring on the old New Mutants!

Ex-centric
Discussed: X-Men Legacy #222 and Uncanny X-Men #507

The X-Universe seems to be missing its center these days. Not only is Astonishing X-Men not shipping regularly (and feeling inconsequential when it does ship); but the events taking place on the fringes of the X-Universe are routinely more interesting than what's going on in the two main titles.

Generally, even if it doesn't feel particularly relevant, X-Men Legacy can be trusted to deliver a solid story mining the depths of X-continuity. But, for the last couple months that doesn't seem to be the case since its gotten bogged down in a silly storyline featuring Danger (because we were all itching for her return) and a group of Shi'Ar junk salvagers. And, zzzzzzz....

Oh, wait, sorry, dozed off there. Anyhow, moving on.

Over in Fraction's Uncanny we are getting a certifiably mixed bag of nuts, and my opinions on the various storylines kicking around in it are equally mixed. The X-Club? Actually entertaining. Colossus' mourning Kitty's death? Tedious. The Sisterhood? I'm a little curious about that. Magneto's return? Too early, but still has my interest. One things for sure, I'll be happier when this title finds its illusive sea-legs again.

Occasionally, other people are right.
Discussed: X-Factor #41 and Captain Britain and the MI13 #11

X-Factor and Captain Britain are both titles that have small, loyal and (most noticably) vocal fan bases that are constantly raving about them. And, both are titles that I tend to run a little hot a cold to. That said, this month, their fans are right about both.

While Peter David's pleading that people "not ruin the surprises online" in the recap page sort of bugs me (because it smacks me of his usual grandstanding tactics), I have to admit that the title has been full of fun twists and turns. This is especially welcome since the last couple years of this title have been bogged down with clumsy crossovers and forced tie-ins to major events. It's nice to see this title slip back into form, and do what it does best.

Meanwhile, for whatever reason, this new Vampire storyline in Captain Britain is working for me. And, I continue to enjoy the way Cornell writes the characters. If I have one complaint, its that I still don't feel like Kirk's art matches the title's tone that well. It just strikes me as a little too bright... but maybe that's more an issue with the coloring. (Insert shrug here.)

This is the end, my friend
Discussed: Ultimate X-Men #100 and Ultimatum #3

Actually, if you are still reading this far into my ramblings, you are a masochist, and I should end things quickly to put you out of your misery. Much the same thing can be said about Ultimate X-Men. This title has been a trainwreck for some time now and I'm glad to see it end.

And, while my reaction to Ultimatum isn't as strong as Brandon's, its still going to give me the perfect jumping off point for this imprint. So, goodbye Ultimate Universe.

And, goodbye till next month, intrepid reader!
Read more!

Spring Break Reading, Part 1 - Mighty Marvel Round-Up

by Brandon

Ever get behind on your comic book reading? I'm not just talking a handful of issues gathering dust on your nightstand. This type of "behind" would be largely the size of, oh, maybe a long box and a half. That's the situation I currently have before me. The stresses of work, planning a wedding, and just every day life have plagued my ability to catch up on my reading. Add to the mix some very large runs that I've been able to buy on the cheap lately and you have a massive problem. But have no fear, Spring Break 2009 is finally here! While most of my students are probably off having wild, teenager-style adventures involving fumbling sexual antics and wine coolers in exotic tropical locales, their teacher has voluntarily sat this Spring Break out to catch up on reading comic books. I'm taking one for the team and catching up on a load of reading. Fasten your seat belts! This is going to be a long ride Here are some pellet reviews of the books that have crossed my path thus far during Spring Break 2009.


Dark Tower: Treachery #'s 1-6
When I finished the book series, I was pretty bummed about the lackluster ending. I had my own feelings of trepidation when the comic books were announced. However, I have been surprised at how much I have enjoyed these minis thus far. Treachery helps shed some light on a few important events in Roland's youth as a young gunslinger. In this volume, we readers get to see how his mother's infidelities are dealt with in full. I won't spoil the plot, but Peter David and Robin Firth have successfully translated the world of the Dark Tower to comic books. I hope they will continue this series beyond these origin tales. Maybe that will make up for the crappy ending to the book series.

Uncanny X-Men #'s 506-507
Of late, I've heard the X-Men creative intelligentsia frequently say that the X-books don't require teams anymore because... because... um... well... because... We've moved past that point in history. ... Did I get that right, X-creators? Anyway, the focus of the X-Books is pretty much anything goes. That must mean quality too because ever since Manifest Destiny started, Uncanny X-Men has been uncannily boring. The art is pretty. The writing is decent. The total package is just dull, dull, dull, dull. Perhaps having a more cohesive team and roster for the book would help give it some focus. Oh, and get the X-Men out of San Francisco. It just isn't working. Sorry guys.

X-Men Legacy #'s 221-222
On the other hand, the X-men Legacy title has been killer. Two of my favorite X-Men are taking center stage for this arc, Gambit and Rogue. Both characters seem to have found a writer that can actually make them interesting without hamming each character up. Gosh, those accents just beg for it, I know, but Mike Carey makes these characters work so well. It's sad to think the Professor X story is ending since it has been a welcome return of the character's relevance to the pages of the X-books. For the first time in at least two decades, Xavier is an interesting character who isn't just a figurehead or out-and-out bastard. Kudos to Carey and teh rest of the Legacy team for making this one of the best X-books in years!

Wolverine: Manifest Destiny #4
Eh. This was the best thing I've read thus far from the Manifest Destiny titles. That's not a ringing endorsement though. This is a fairly forgettable Wolverine story. There are tons of those out there too. This story just happens to be inoffensive enough to be forgettable.

Ghost Rider #33
On one side of the coin, this issue was awesome just because of the sheer number of Ghost Riders it covers and shows. It sets up a fascinating backdrop for future exploration. On the flip side of the coin, this issue was pretty much a throwaway story that has no real meat to it. I'm glad the new Caretaker has decided to keep the fight going. Good job, Caretaker. But, um, was there any doubt that this would be the case? It's like having Superman handed his ass to him by some bit bad guy. Of course Superman is going to go whip his ass for that. Duh. Do we need to have a whole issue history lesson and pep talk to rev us up for that from a largely uninteresting character?

Squadron Supreme #'s 8-9
The first part of this series started off as a dud, but the last couple of issues have been great. Why? The Squadron is actually here instead of these new losers that Chaykin rolled out in the first arc. So the series has significantly improved with the return of Hyperion et al. Therefore, Marvel has to cancel this series. Oh well. Maybe this universe won't be totally forgotten, but I have a small voice inside that tells me it's done.

Daredevil #'s 116-117
This is an example of the "been there, done that" school of comic books, but it's so damn well written you almost want to forgive Brubaker & Co. for bringing back Kingpin. Almost. The first part to "Return of the King" actually works really well, but the second part feels like a retread of Kingpin/Daredevil truces of the past. At first, I was a bit sad that this creative team was moving on, but now I think maybe it's time. Note to future Daredevil writers; when you start wanting to bring back Kingpin, it's time to move on. Maybe there's an X-book you could write?

The Invincible Iron Man #'s 11-12
I have to admit that Invincible Iron Man is the first monthly Iron Man title I have ever read, but I'm really enjoying the hell out of it. Tony Stark is on the run and doing a nice tour of the Marvel Universe to boot. I didn't read Secret Invasion and am trying to avoid any Dark Reign stuff outside of the titles I usually read, but fans get a large dose of "Osborn won, get over it" here in this title. The art is absolutely gorgeous. It's hard to believe that this is the Salvador Larroca that drew some other, fairly ho-hum titles in the past.

Punisher #3
Already three issues into the new title and Remender is already doing a better job at it than Fraction did with War Journal. I already wrote about this a bit in my last Panelology article, but this is a quality title. However, I think Remender and other Marvel creators are wrong when they say Punisher doesn't have to be taking out these big fish he's gunning after. Um, that's what the Punisher does. He kills bad guys. End of discussion. If he's not doing that, then what's the point? That's why many people are attracted to the character. If you want an antihero that shows mercy, read Batman., If you want people killed like chumps, read Punisher. Next.

Ultimatum #3
Here's a little math to start off this review; Gory + shocking ≠ a good comic book. This series is almost a mockery of the Ultimate concept. Here's Marvels thinking; let's bastardize the core concept that this isn't the Marvel Universe by just killing off all this characters. It will be frickin' great! And shocking too! The only problem here is that it isn't good and it's tying the hands of future Ultimate stories. Oops, that characters dead. Screw it. Marvel is killing more than their Ultimate stable of characters. They are killing my interest. If enough fans are like me, that could be the most damaging death in this whole Ultimatum mess.


Ultimate Spider-Man #131
Despite the whole Ultimatum fiasco being just ridiculous, Ultimate Spider-Man still manages to make lemonade out of lemons. This isn't a great story by comparison to others that have appeared in this title, but it's still entertaining. The Hulk scenes were fun. But why didn't they kill Aunt May? Marvel's killing everyone else. Her ass has got to go in some Universe. Why not here?

Ultimate Fantastic Four #60 & Ultimate X-Men #100
I'm lumping these two titles together because Ultimatum has become a mercy killing for both of these titles. It seems that ever since Marvel decided to go with this Ultimatum mess, the creators of both of these titles have been farting around just waiting for the axe to fall. And it shows. The quality of both of these titles is poor, and that's being kind. Maybe they will come back in some form, but let's hope they can find some A-list creators to write solid stories, not just stories that will occupy space on the comic shelf monthly.

Ultimate Wolverine vs. Hulk #3
Late? Yes. Worth the wait? Probably not. Decent? Yeah, I guess. While an entertaining read, I breezed through this issue like the Flash on cocaine. This is what we waited so long for? Lindelof had problems writing this? Really? Entertaining, but hardly worth the wait.

That's it for now. Check back tomorrow for the Dark Horse and Wildstorm reviews!
Read more!

Panelology

by Brandon
This week, I rant and rave about a certain new Marvel exclusive creator. DC's also has a new outreach initiative with Sunday Comics on Wednesday. Sounds cool. Maybe. I also discuss further my own DC rehabilitation struggles, the Obama craze, and that pesky little superhero movie that has been pretty much ignored by those outside of the comic book community. Should I call them Don't-Watchmen? Muggles? Non-comic buying public? Mainstream America? Or should I just say normal people?

All that and more just by wasting five precious minutes of your reading time.

Exclusively Sucky
This past week's announcement at the Emerald City Comic Con that Rick Remender is now a Marvel exclusive creator is both welcome and unwelcome for this fan. Don't get me wrong, as a Punisher fan, I'm actually really enjoying his run on Punisher thus far. In fact, I think he's doing a much better job thus far on the title than Matt Fraction did. I completely understand his reasoning behind going exclusive. Job security is at a premium now here in the United States, and of course, what creator didn't dream of growing up and working for one of the big two? But what a crappy position to put fans in? Instead of placing a satisfying ending or handing off the books to other creators (which isn't really satisfying at all), it appears that Remender's creator-owned properties like Fear Agent and End League will go on a decidedly unsatisfying hiatus. Despite being quite nebulous, these hiatuses can't be good for these books or for Dark Horse. Fear gent has been buzzy-worthy for a while now and End League has been awesome despite some of those "nasty" shipping delays we fans enjoy bemoaning. I say all of this in the knowledge that I have no real solution for how to overcome such a situation, but it really does suck for those fans. A brother has got to do what a brother has got to do. Good luck to Remender in his new exclusiveness. Let's hope he gets back to End League and Fear Agent sooner rather than later.

Hump Day Comics
This Wednesday Comics idea from DC sounds like it might be worth a damn. The operative word here is might because the chances of this being an extraordinary flop are pretty high. But you have to give DC some credit for doing something inventive for a change. I know, it's hard to believe that someone just used the company "DC" and word "inventive" in the same sentence, but there it is. DC has been far behind Marvel now for a few years now. I hope this works out for them. I think it could be a neat experiment even if the name Wednesday Comics doesn't exactly inspire one to greatness.


The DC Reeducation Program, Phase 2
I'm still trying to educate myself in DC Comics. I know I like to pile on criticism of these guys, but I do feel as if I missed the boat on some titles. Like a good comic fan, I've been trying to go back and re-read or obtain series from DC's past to better educate myself on the company's past. I've initiated a pretty large task ahead of me. I'm going back and collecting the Giffen/DeMatteis Justice League and John Ostander's Suicide Squad. I'm probably fifteen or so issues into each series and I'm loving each. I was already very familiar with the Justice League series since I already had several of those issues, but Suicide Squad was a new commodity for me. Though I'm not terribly familiar with all of the characters, Suicide Squad has been nothing less than amazing. I also picked up the 1987 Dr. Fate mini, the Wild Dog mini from around the same time, and Jeff Smith's recent Shazam mini. Of the three, I've only gotten around to reading Shazam, but it was a solid miniseries that was easy and fun to read. I would like to read more Jeff Smith's take on the character as he just seemed like a good fit for that character. I'll soldier on through my DC reeducation Program, and as always, I'm open to suggestions. Got any?

Ultimatum Update
Yeah, this whole story still sucks. Really, if it's not broke, don't fix it.

Obama-sized Spectacular Anniversary First-Issue Foil Covered Edition
Has your comic book featured our new commander-in-chief yet? No? Well, what the hell is your problem? Don't you know that having Barack Obama in your comic book is, like, the coolest thing ever. All the cool kids are doing it, so why not you? What kind of douche bag comic company doesn't want to do this? I'll tell you; the company that wants to go bankrupt. I mean, let's face it, this is Barack-effing-Obama we're talking about here. He's practically the coolest thing since sliced bread or Bono. On a more serious note, really, what the hell is going on here? I know comic companies are all just trying to cash in, but is this really necessary? Can't comic companies focus on telling good stories rather than hawking off a sorry attempt at pandering? Outside of his titles dedicated to the man himself, Comic Book Database has Obama listed as appearing in several issues already with many more to come from such titles as Youngblood and Barack the Barbarian. Yeah... I really don't know what to say to all of that. I like the man just as good as the next Democrat, but for the love of all that is holy in our democracy, can we comic fans just agree that this fad is over? It will be like a gentleman's agreement. Nothing needs to be signed or codified into law. Let's just move on, shall we?

Watchmen... Epic Fail?
Curse my lateness! I wasn't able to really participate in Doug's excellent series on the Watchmen film because I saw it almost two-weeks after it had hit theaters. If you missed the series, you should really check the articles out, all five parts of it. I have nothing new or original to add to the affair in terms of reviewing the film suffice to say that I really enjoyed it. But that may be part of the problem. With a box office total of just over $105 million thus far, its pretty easy to classify this movie's take as being in the red given that it cost around $150 million to make and who knows how much to market. Of course, all this is said in the understanding that the DVD revenues will more than likely lift this film into the black. As far as many fans are concerned, the movie did a good job, but I think it's tough to count Watchmen in the "win" column for comic book films. Why? The lack crossover success, that's why. The failure of this film to win over Joe Blow and Susie Whadayaknow off the street is pretty condemning. The Spider-Man, Iron Man, and recent Batman films have been so successful because they have been able to reach across the aisle to those non-fanboys and fangirls. They offered something to them that the comic books never could manage; entertainment. I'm not going to psychoanalyze the general movie viewing public here, but I think the theater numbers say it all. I'm also not saying the general movie public is smart. I think watchmen was a film for those that are smarter than the average bear, for those who can appreciate a rich and textured film without it having to resort to tired cliches. I think history will be kinder to the Watchmen film, but I'm not sure if the general public will ever warm up to the idea of a superhero flick quite like this.

Read more!

Panelology

by Brandon

"More ranting and raving on comic book collecting?" you ask. Yes! I can deliver on that. It's free and a renewable resource. Just don't abuse my cantankerous attitude for your own benefit. My targets this week include Kingdom Come, Ultimatum, Back Issues, and The Spirit movie. Enter all who dare.

Give DC a Chance, pt. II
I talked about wanting to try out some Dc titles in my last article. This promise did not come from a lack of knowledge of DC, just a lack of appreciation. I think DC is largely boring. Could an old, tried and true, corn-fed Marvel zombie like myself actually enjoy an iconic DC title like Kingdom Come? Could I actually appreciate a book from a company I have little love for? Could I overcome my personal bias against these boring characters that are about as lifeless and uninteresting as Superman or Flash? Actually, no. I could not like.

I loved it.

While I may sound a bit like a teenage school girl when I say that, I really did love it. I thought it was entertaining and thoughtful. The commentary on the short-term gains of the 1990s superhero excesses. My love is born out of a certain ignorance of the DC universe. Mark Waid's scripting and Alex Ross' art were perfectly conjoined. Thanks to all who suggested it to me. Who knows what I will read next, but I will definitely poke my head around the rest of the DC universe.

Back (issues) to the Future
The economic situation sucks. That's not real news or anything earth-shattering. At least I hope that isn't real news to you. Comic fans are bemoaning the fact that some titles are edging closer and closer to $3.99. Now that really sucks. It seems like more and more, some comic fans are looking to trim their comic book diets in order to tighten their belts up some.

Might I offer you an alternative? Of course I can. Try back issues. I have been buying more and more back issues. I can get around 40 issues for $50-$60, roughly equivalent to the purchase of around twenty books on the shelves now. That is assuming that the books are all $2.99, which, again, they are not. I've enjoyed going back to check out all the titles I may have missed over the years at dirt-cheap prices. Earth-X, Grendel, Ghost Rider volume 2, Savage Dragon, Grim Jack, Jon Sable, Justice League, Dakota North, Azrael, Elementals volume 2, Rising Stars, and Queen & Country are just a few of the titles I've been able to indulge in on the cheap. Not bad.

How does this help the economic situation in a struggling economy? Well, it doesn't help Marvel, DC, or any other comic book company for that matter. However, it does help out the small businesses I buy these back issue books from. And to be honest with you, I would rather line their pockets with money than the pockets of Marvel and DC. Maybe I'm wrong. I probably am, but I like having lots of great books that don't cost four bucks each.

Ultimate Suckage
Um, do you think Ultimatum sucks? Me too. Do you think the new plans for the Ultimate Universe are kind of dumb? Ditto. Aside from killing off practically everyone in the Ultimate Universe, Ultimatum has been a sputtering turd of a comic, the epitome of the slide in quality for this line of titles. The plans for the future of the line coming out of New York a couple of weeks ago were also yawn inducing. Why do the Ultimate title need their own imprint? Maybe I'm reading too much in Brian Michael Bendis' reaction to the change, but I don't get the impression is terribly impressed with this retooling of his baby.


The Spirit Sucked Too
I watched the Spirit movie last week at a $2-theater. Yeah... that was awful. It was quite possibly the worst comic book adaptation ever committed to film. What the hell was Frank Miller thinking? I know a lot of people have asked this lately, but seriously, does anyone have an answer? The acting and story was so over the top that it completely removed me from the experience within the first five minutes. I'm not a huge fan of the golden age, but The Spirit happens to be one of the few titles that I enjoyed. If Eisner's stories weren't so damn good, Frank Miller may have ruined the character for me.
Read more!

Panelology - Random Thoughts

by Brandon

My first column of this year focuses on some random thoughts I have about comic book collecting. I figured that might be a good place to start. My brain is going all over the place. I’m swimming in thoughts of DC, killing off Batman, Barack Obama, comic book storage issues, LCS pseudo-sales, and even the smell of comic books. Step on inside to take a gander at the thoughts bouncing around my head.


Give DC a Chance
Many people who have read my column know that I’m not exactly fond of DC. I make no bones about how uninterested I am in anything resembling the Infinite/Finite/Final/Indefinite/Uninspired Crises that DC has been constantly churning out for the better part of eight-hundred years. There’s a bit of hyperbole involved there, but the nugget of truth that is there is that DC is awash in hefty continuity. One hand often does not know what the other is doing. Modern DC just looks like this behemoth that has gotten to high on its own history. I don’t want to touch a DC book that has been published in the past few years with a ten-foot long box. However, I am on a personal quest during this New Year; I want to read some good DC. Mind you, I don’t want recent DC, but good DC. Stand alone DC. I actually do want to be sold on DC. I plan on starting with Kingdom Come and The New Frontier. From there, God knows where I’m going. I’m open to suggestions. Have any?

R.I.P., Batman
I don’t read Batman regularly, but this whole killing off Batman thing just sounds dumb. Bruce Wayne is Batman. This story just smacks of idiocy. Add a dash of “been there, done that,” and we have the makings of a story that will be overturned so fast that most fans will be embarrassed by it in a few years.


Barack Obama is MINE!
Do you know that Barack Obama has been inaugurated as our 44th President? Do you know that he has been on approximately one zillion magazine covers? Do you know that he has also appeared in comic books? Like Santa Claus, Barack Obama is everywhere, even in the comic book world. A little controversy was sparked by this when Marvel decided to put Mr. Obama in the pages of Spider-Man. Erik Larsen took offense to this because apparently his usage of Barack Obama was better than Marvel’s usage of America’s savior. I understand Larsen has been a longtime supporter of Obama and his character Savage Dragon has used Chicago as a base of operations. The Obama connection makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is his supposed outrage at Marvel. With all due respect to Mr. Larsen, I love his comics, but his ire over the use of Obama is pretty stupid. The outrage runs counter to what Barack Obama believes and embodies, don’t you think? It’s time to get over it.

…And those have to go as well.
I’m getting married in June. With nearly five months to go, the home planning and improvements are now in full swing. Jenn is definitely in nesting mode and I’m pretty much stuck in the usual male temperament of being a bachelor. Having thousands of comic books is cool, until you get married. The closer we get to the date, the more ruefully Jenn looks at my comic book collection. I feel like a paranoid schizophrenic, but I think she may have it out for part of my collection. The times, they are a’changing. Planning for the future together is awesome. Planning where all these freaking comic books go is not.

LCS Psuedo-Sales
I went to a comic shop somewhere in South Carolina this past weekend. I want name names because this shop officially pissed my inner and outer el cheapo off. Imagine my surprise and excitement when I drove up to the store to see huge sale signs on all the windows. Jenn can ell you I was literally giddy with excitement, like it was Christmas morning and I knew I was going to get some ridiculously awe-inspiring present. Got it? Now, imagine my disappointment when there was no sale going on at all. The store had opened what they called their “vault.” I wouldn’t have called it that. I would have called it a “roomful of expensive ass comics.” While I’m sure collectors who have that kind of money were thrilled, I am definitely the bargain bin variety of collector. Nothing else was on sale. No deals on their trades. No special bargains for their back issues. No discounts on their titles on the shelf. Nada. Nothing. Zip. Zero. They only wanted to discount your wallet with their fine collection of idiotic variants and Little Lulu back issues. When a comic shop says “Sale,” I expect just that. And yes, I’m still pissed.

Comic Books Stink
Am I the only person on earth who smells their comic books? Please tell me I’m not the only freak! 99.9% of the time it is the first thing I do when I get a comic, or any book for that matter. I smell it. I can’t explain it, but there is something alluring about smelling comic books. And not just from any age or era. Comic books from the mid-1980s smell the best to me. They don’t even smell good or pleasant. It’s just a comforting smell. I don’t get weird about smelling comic books or anything like that. I don’t wear leather things and spank my own ass as I read through a back issue of Uncanny X-Men. I just smell them. That’s all.


Ultimate Ultimatum
Do any of you really think that the Ultimate Universe is gone? Between reading two or three issues of each Ultimate title last week and the recently solicited “Final” issues of all the Ultimate titles, it sure looks like the Ultimate universe is coming to a close. But why? You would think in these poor economic times that Marvel would want to keep some of their solid performers around. Instead, the Ultimatum body count is ever increasing and the books appear to be gone according to the solicitations. I can understand the nay-saying argument that the Ultimate Universe makes the regular Marvel Universe less special. Yet, the Ultimate titles have been entertaining at the very least, and when they are on their “A” game, they are solid. The talent on the Ultimate line has also been topnotch for the most part. With its power creators and rock-solid stories, I bet these titles and this universe won’t be gone for good, but one has to wonder if there will be much of the Ultimate Universe left to come back to. I would hope so.
Read more!

General Reviews 5/21: "There's a good story in here somewhere."

by the General

That's what I kept thinking to myself while reading last weeks comics. All of them had moments or ideas worth mentioning, but inevitably the execution seemed to be fumbled. Either the art was slightly off, or the writing was stilted or - in the case of Ultimate X-men - it just seemed like the Marvel editorial department was asleep at the wheel. Still, these are the comics I read last week, and there were a lot of them. So, let's take a look at X-Men: Divided We Stand, X-Factor, Fantastic Four, Captain America, Ultimate X-men and Hercules.

X-Men: Divided We Stand #2 (by a whole mess of creators) - Last month, when I reviewed this title, it became a mini-magnum opus as I tried to summarize the five short tales that appeared in it. This month, I'm going to sidestep that unreadable train wreck and just mentioned the two that caught my fancy. The first, by Mike Carey and his X-men Legacy buddy, Scott Eaton, involves the Beast returning to the ruins of the mansion and cleaning up a bit. That's pretty much it. He wanders the grounds, gathers some keepsakes and disposes of some dangerous technology that has been left behind. But despite this basic premise, it is a surprisingly effective because not only does it allow for some nice Beast characterization, but it also help show how important the Mansion is to the X-men's status quo and - finally - it helps successfully shut the door on this chapter of their mythology as they move forward. Presumably to their new digs in San Fransisco.

The other story that I enjoyed was the Havok tale that appeared halfway through the book. The whole Havok vs. Vulcan storyline pretty much tops my "I have no idea why I care about this story, but I do" list. This is a fine chapter. Vulcan reveals to an imprisoned and beaten Havok the events that took place during the Messiah CompleX, in an attempt to further torment him. Surprisingly, Havok finds strength in the story and redoubles his defiance of Vulcan. It's a seemingly straight-forward little number, but it works on a couple of levels. Not only does it get new readers up to speed(with both Havok and the entire X-line in general), but also help further define the dynamic that exists between the two warring brothers. The painterly art usually wouldn't be my thing, but actually sort of works here. I look forward to seeing this storyline move forward someday.

The rest of the stories are pretty forgettable... to the point that I honestly barely remember them a week after reading them. So, while I enjoyed the two tales above, I can't give the entire issue more than a bare-bones B.

X-Factor #31 (David and Raimondi) - This issue should have been dramatic. But, for a number of reasons, it just fell short. First and foremost reason, while I think Raimondi is a fine artist, he failed to convey the drama and inferno of having M-Town (or the Middle Eastside) burn to the ground. Instead of the raging inferno I'm sure Peter David had in mind, we get scene after scene of what looks like the characters dealing with isolated burning buildings. But, to be fair, I think that David's storytelling is a little uneven here too. Few of the events within really carry any dramatic punch, plus we see another example of David's weird malicious streak in a scene where firemen watch a half dozen people burn to death on the other side of the energy dome that surrounds the neighborhood. Overall, I just wasn't feeling this issue, a crabby C.

Fantastic Four #557 (Millar and Hitch) - Here's another title I'm just not feeling. In fact, I'm fairly sure this is my last issue. I can see what Millar and Hitch are going for, but the execution is sort of bungled. The resolution of the CAP menace just struck me as too easy. I mean, it literally plays out like this: "Oh my god! No one can stop this menace! It's destroying everything! ... oh, except we just happen to have this piece of technology lying around, and there happens to be a loop-hole in CAP's programming that allows us to take it down in one punch!" Wait, what? Between this, and my inability to get into the Nu Earth idea, I'm obviously struggling with this title. So, maybe it's just time to let it go.

Which is a shame because there is a great couple of moments with Reed and Sue towards the end that shows that Millar actually gets at least those two characters. I just wish he got the entire title the same way. Still a credibility-straining C.

Captain America #38 (Brubaker and Epting) - Nothing happens. But, I enjoyed it. Still, I'm not going to give it more than a standard Brubaker B.

I'm not overly familiar with the particulars of Captain America's past, but there seems to be a neat little retooling of his history in this issue. Or, at least, the retooling of a character from his past. It's the sort of reworking that I'm sure has certain Captain America fans rubbing their hands together with glee. And, to Brubaker's credit, he managed to get me up to date with the back story in such a way that I felt like I knew what was going on, but didn't feel like it was getting bogged down by history lessons. Still, my holding my ground on that B.

Ultimate X-men #94 (Coleite and Brooks) - Meanwhile, over in Ultimate X-men I honestly felt like I missed an issue. In fact, after reading the first couple of pages, I checked the cover to make sure an issue hadn't been released that I missed. I mean, someone must have really screwed the pooch on this issue. I can literally see Aron Coleite proudly turning in his first script only to have the editor go: "oh... um.. .we forget to tell you but Kirkman wrote Phoenix out of the title at the end of his final arc. That was the big dramatic event that ended that arc."

To which Coleite responded; "Hmmm, let me just get out my pen here and...." then he writes a single panel where Scott asks Jean why she's back, and she says they'll talk about it later. The whole thing comes off as really amateurish, and I think it shows that Marvel has pretty much lost interest in its Ultimate line.

In a way though, it's sort of a shame that the issue has such a rocky start and that the writing is uneven, because I do feel like there is are some interesting ideas driving this title. It's about time that someone explored Colossus' mafia ties a little more. And, the reveal on the final page proves the storyline might be fun overall. Still, this issue gets a drop-the-ball D.

The Incredible Hercules #117 (Pak and Van Lente) - I'm still not in love with this title in the same way that a lot of people are. But, at the same time, the very idea that seems to be under-pinning this next storyline has me interested, and I think it's a great twist on the events of Secret Invasion. In short, since the skrulls are invading Earth, their gods are also effectively invading the Earth gods' turf. To combat this, Athena has called the gods of the world together to assemble a team to make sure their alien gods don't get a foothold. This team is, of course, led by Hercules. Now, I'm not entirely sure why, but I like the idea of Earth's gods wanting to stave off the advances of alien gods fairly interesting. It's a unique take on the typical alien invasion storyline. And, the motley crew they've assembled under Hercules seems to have promise, as does the idea of Hercules being forced into leadership.

Still, while I liked the issue overall, there are actually a number of confusing panels toward the end which left me going "Wait, what?" So, while I was pleased with the issue, I'm just giving it a better than average B.
Read more!

General Reviews 4/30: DC must stand for Don't Care

by The General

Wow, it seems like it was just the other day that I was typing up reviews for last weeks comics... oh, wait! It was just the other day! That's what I get for dinking around last week and not doing my reviews until Monday. Anyhow, this week of comics is definitely more of a mixed bag than last week's Bliss-Fest™, so maybe you'll get to listen to me grousing a little this week. OK, let's take a deep breath before clicking the "read more" and diving into my reviews of X-Men Legacy, Ultimate X-Men, DC Universe, and The Incredible Hercules!

X-Men Legacy #210 (Carey, Eaton and Land) - If you read most websites' reviews of this title, you see a lot of reviewers talking about how they don't know where this title is going, or aren't convinced that the direction is strong enough to maintain a title. Me? I'm just happy to enjoy the ride. It hasn't been a perfect book, but Carey's been providing a dense exploration of the X-Men's back history through a string of flashbacks and psychic visions (cue Dan: "Tedious"). Not much has happened in the first three issues, but it's great to read a book that seems to know how to harness the X-Universe's history constructively rather than just ignore it or revamp it like most writers seem happy to do these days. That said, this definitely isn't a book for new readers.

This issue actually manages to get Xavier out the Acolyte base by the end of it, which is a good step forward... if a small one. In addition, we are treated to a couple of epilogues that hint that the focus of the book is widening a bit. Also a good move. I'm not sure if I'm keen of the idea of Xavier wandering around with shattered memories (I mean, that's Wolverine's schtick), but I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt for the time being. Just keep it interesting is all I ask. In terms of art, Land steps in as this issue's "flashback artist." I'm not a huge fan of Land's work, but this issue he seems to dial back the glossiness a bit, and I frankly didn't notice it too much one way or the other. Overall, this probably wasn't the strongest issue of the new creative direction, but it's still pretty much your Basic B.

Ultimate X-Men #93 (Kirkman and Tolibao) - At some point, about two issues back, my interest waned on this whole Apocalypse storyline. I literally went from thinking "this is all really fascinating" to thinking "when will this be over" with, like, the turn of a page. Kirkman's strength seems to be when he is able to spin traditional X-Men plot elements off each other in unique ways. On the flip side, his weakest moments are his fight scenes. And, it hasn't helped matters that the last couple issues have been one protracted, downtown-demolishing fight scene.

Which brings us to this issue: The grand finale that plays on both his strengths and weaknesses... Phoenix versus Apocalypse. So, we have two big X-ideas playing off each other, but it's also one huge fight scene. It's a great idea, at least, and spectacularly rendered by (I believe) newcomer Harvey Tolibao. Tolibao's style reminds me of Tom Raney on a coffee binge. It's detailed in a way that's a feast for the eyes, even if his anatomy slips from time to time. He's far from perfect, but if he's young and still improving, I think he might be big someday. The end is a bit of a cop out, but at least Kirkman allows the characters a couple pages to breath and deal with the fall out of the arc. This issue is a definite upswing from the last couple, but it's still Barely a B-.

DC Universe #0 (Morrison, Johns and a whole butt-load of artists) - Why does DC do this to me? Or, rather, why do I do this to myself? It's become pretty much an annual tradition: DC will release a cheapo teaser issue meant to pitch a new batch of titles and, lured by the price tag and the dream that I will someday like a mainstream DC title, I pick it up. I'll hold it in my grubby hands, look at it and think "maybe this time!" And then I'll open it and find pages of dire incoherency. Sadly, it's happened again.

There's something about the way DC tells stories these days that just turns me off. Too much of it reads like I'm reading Cliff's Notes versions of the storyline. Not the actual story itself. Of all the sections in this issue, the only one that actually shows any real understanding of how characters should play off each other is the Batman and Joker scene. That scene manages to be creepy and foreboding, but everything else just rings hollow. And, as far as the Flash's return (I'm not even going to bother with spoilers, at this point), I can see how it would be interesting or exciting in theory, but there's nothing in this issue that makes me excited about the idea. Oh well, maybe next year. A Dire D.

The Incredible Hercules #116 (Pak, Van Lente and Sandoval) - There's been a lot of online raves about Hercules these days, and it was a slow week, so I figured why not check it out? If nothing else, it has a decent Romita Jr. cover. So, what's the verdict? Solid. Interesting and entertaining. But not the hilarious show-stopper I've heard it described as. I'm not too familiar with Hercules as a character, but what little I know about him, and how he's used here, I can see his appeal. He sort of works like Jack Burton in Big Trouble of Little China, the clueless narcissist bumbling through a storyline that's actually being driven by those around him. It's fun, and the tone and story is ably handled here.

I do want to make note of the Dreaming Celestial in this issue, or at least ask: So what's the story with it? The same Celestial was featured briefly in Uncanny a month ago. Is this building to something bigger or is it something like X-Factor's old ship (waaaay back in the day) - set piece for one title that's so big and interesting, that other titles can't help but at least show it in the background. Either way, I like it. It's the sort of shared universe detail that piques my curiosity. And, seeing it here, along with Hercules' antics, raise this to a Breezy B.
Read more!