Summer Reading, pt. 5

by Brandon

The penultimate article of my summer reading series has arrived! That lusty picture to the left isn't here just to fit our monthly T&A quotient! No sir, we have more taste than that around these parts.

My monthly shipment of new comics arrived Monday afternoon and I was stoked to read up on all the things I'd seen floating around the vast Internet the past few weeks. The first things I read were my Marvel titles. I'm a shameless Marvel Zombie, I can admit to that, but I would be a liar if I didn't say that some of the Marvel books I have been reading have been a little lackluster lately.

But was I disappointed or elated this month? Read on.



The Invincible Iron Man #15
What can I say about the "World's Most Wanted" arc that I haven't already said? The plodding storyline continues on into part 8. I don't mind a longer story if there is actually a story to tell. But Invincible Iron Man has become a book where Tony Stark is on the run... and that's pretty much it. This story could have easily been condensed down, but because it has to fit within the framework of the Dark Reign non-event event, we get a seemingly unending stream of escapes and near-misses. Tony Stark may be losing his mind, but I'm losing my patience. Do something here, Fraction. Anything. Please?

Frank Castle: The Punisher #72
Most of the Punisher Max arcs are serious and grounded in a harsh reality that is hard to take at times. But Garth Ennis wisely broke up the intensity every now and then with a humorous arc. Victor Gischler deftly follows in Ennis' footsteps here by giving the reader fun, yet characteristically violent romp with Frank Castle in "Welcome to the Bayou." Stylistically, this reminds me of the film 2,000 Maniacs on some level. There isn't a supernatural angle working here, but the idea of Podunk rednecks in the Louisiana Bayou trapping outsiders for their own nefarious purposes is ridiculous and entertaining all at once. There are several laugh out loud lines here, surprisingly delivered by Frank Castle. Goran Parlov, Punisher Max veteran artists, provides complimentary art to the outlandish send up. The appearance of the gangbanger in the back of Frank's car at the end of the issue is sure to throw a new wrench into the hectic story. This book is highly recommended if you want to find a solid book with dark humor.

Punisher #7
D-listers unite! Ah... Rick Remender apparently has plans to turn Frank into Frankenstein in his upcoming "Rest in Pieces" arc, but for now readers have to settle for Frank icing the D-List All-Stars the Hood has assembled to take out Punisher. The thing that makes Punisher work so well in the Marvel Universe is that he was very different from your average costumed bear. He didn't deal with the fantastical all that much despite it being right next door. He was detached from the spandex set, but had a purpose. I just don't see that purpose coming out of this incarnation of Punisher. Frank Castle gunning after the D-Lister All-Stars just doesn't seem right or appropriate for the character. This just doesn't feel right. If the preview images are any indication, that feeling of trepidation is going to stick around for a little while.

Ultimatum #5
Speaking of feelings of trepidation, the final issue of Ultimatum finally hit the shelves last week. The verdict? Ugh. To be fair, it was a lot better than I expected. Though it seemed like half the book's pages were splash-pages (I wish I were exaggerating), Loeb has set up an interesting environment for the post-Ultimatum Ultimate universe. Let's all just forget the fact that he had to commit character genocide in order to establish this setting, but it worked. Mutants are on the run and heroes everywhere are dead. A vacuum has been created story wise and that can be fertile ground for storytelling in the near future. But was it worth it? Loeb has been criticized up and down, and rightly so, for his wholesale butchering of the Ultimate Universe. There are too many cooks in the kitchen now and with any luck he will be exiting out through the back. With Millar, Bendis, and Ellis at the helm for the Ultimate Comics relaunch, perhaps fans can expect better and brighter days ahead for the Ultimate Universe.

Ultimatum Spider-Man Requiem #2
The story here was solid, but like the previous issue, it seemed more like a rejected story from the regular run. J. Jonah Jameson was a great choice for narrating this story, but the narration doesn't have the weight it should have. Hulk meets Spider-Man, they fight, and Hulk shows a human side. You can find a thousand Hulk stories out there like this. Why was this one so special? Because Spider-Man was there? Because a busload of kids got saved? Come on. Ultimate Spider-Man can do better than this. Maybe it will in the future, but for now these last few issues of volume one have done nothing to add to the great stories that came before it.

X-Force #17
This beginning of this issue disappointed me some. Messiah War was more dud than stud, and here we get transported back to the climax of the previous arc t wrap things up there. It was a bit confusing for me to remember what had happened a few months prior to this and why I should care. The Leper Queen climax wasn't even a climax... it just kind of ended.To quote the actual book, "boom." I'm not terribly impressed with that particular framing device, but I'll live. At least I hope I do. Things get messy quick for the team when they get back. The pace of the book is frantic and that works well within the scope of what is going on at the UN and on the streets. Any hope of this team being kept a little secret has to be vanishing fast if the pages of this issue are any proof. By the end of the issue, this title was back into my good graces with its action and frenetic pacing.


X-Men Legacy #226
This issue marks the beginning of a new era for X-men Legacy. Rogue's team barely has a chance to breathe before being thrust into the actions of the Utopia crossover. Though the issue wasn't a bad read, it seemed like Rogue, Danger, and Gambit spent the entire issues putting out little fires instead of actually focusing on the main blaze. Like Elvis, Jesus, and Santa Claus, they were just everywhere. It was like Mike Carey got ADD during the writing of this crossover. There is a lot going on around town, I'm sure, but a more focused approach could help flesh out this book. And this book has been very focused in the past year.

Uncanny X-Men #513
I'm not going to mince words here; I think Fraction got moved to the big leagues a bit too quickly with Uncanny X-Men. I know I've mentioned it before, but Uncanny X-Men should scream UNCANNY EFFIN' X-MEN! This does not scream that. This barely whimpers it. This issue finds the uncanny X-Men wacthing the action... on television. What? This is UNCANNY EFFIN' X-MEN! Where's the larger than life action? Instead, we get a lot of scenes with mutants we don't give a rat's ass about. Adam X? What rock did they find that loser under? Trust me, we x-fans don't give a shit about Adam X. I know I was kind of hoping his ass would get handed to him by someone big like Ares. Maybe his head will get smashed in or ripped in half. I don't know, but it would be cool. Let's work on that, guys.


I'll be back in a few days with the final article on my summer reading habits. I'll be reviewing the most recent issues of Fables, Savage Dragon, Batman & Robin, Detective Comics, the various Star Wars titles, and Conan. Until then...

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Summer Reading, pt. 4

by Brandon

There are three essentials for my summer vacation; relaxation, napping, and comic books. Fortunately for you, I just talk about comic books here. My Summer Reading series continues with reviews of Iron Man, Punisher, Ultimate Spider-Man, Daredevil, X-Men Legacy, Squadron Supreme, Captain America: Reborn, The End League, Star Wars Legacy and Knights of the Old Republic. About half of the books hit, whereas the other half missed. Find out who performed above and below expectations by reading on!


Captain America: Reborn #1
I haven't been keeping up with Captain America at all. I know he was killed a few years ago in the Civil War crossover. I know he's coming back. What do I care, right? A few of the Bad Genious guys were talking about this issue the other day and the method for Captain America's return just sounded so incredulous and out there that i just had to read it to believe it. They were correct; Captain America was hit with some type of magic bullet that made him unstuck in time. This was a pretty big "WTF" moment for me too. From all accounts, Brubaker's run has been pretty grounded. This magically delicious approach to bringing Captain America back just feels wrong. The issue was decent enough, but the series as a whole is not worth keeping up with for $3.99 a pop.

Daredevil #119
Daredevil's life continues to reflect some Bizarro-esque emo song. We find Matt Murdoch whinny here (suprise, surprise) as his alliance with Kingpin becomes stickier than he planned (surprise, surprise). I feel a strong sense of deja vu that all of this has happened before. I think Kingpin has become a "no-fly zone" for Daredevil writers for at least another 100 issues. Every Kingpin story has seemingly been done before. These Daredevil and Kingpin stories practically write themselves now and that's not a good thing. Wilson Fisk is being used in the upcoming PunisherMax series. Let's hope Jason Aaron finds a better way to use the Kingpin character because at this point he's pretty much a time killer.

Invincible Iron Man #14
With this issue, the "World's Most Wanted" story has stayed past its welcome. How long can we read about Tony being on the run? How long can we watch Norman Osborne harass the no ironclad Pepper Potts? How many Iron Man costumes does Tony Stark having lying around to wear now? Don't get me wrong, this title is expertly written. Of the titles I've read from Matt Fraction, this has been consistently his best. Salvador Larroca's art is superb as well, much improved over his days in the X-Universe. However, this Dark Reign business in general just seems to be chugging along with no end in sight. I can see Fraction scratching his head as he comes up with new ways to to make Tony run due to some editorial mandate stating that Iron Man has to continue to be on the run while Dark Reign plays out for the rest of the calendar year. The "hero on the run" story has been done quite a bit in the last few years and this offers nothing new to the concept.


Punisher #6
The Hood really has it out for poor ol' Frank. Can't a vigilante just kill the bad guys and be done with it? Apparently not. The Hood resurrects a whole gaggle of d-list villains with the charge of taking out Frank Castle, your friendly neighborhood Punisher. Reading a comic where Punisher is forced to take out d-listers is not really my idea of a great Punisher comic book. I'm sure someone, somewhere, is excited by all these crap villains being resurrected. I hope the one Basilisk fan out there creamed his jeans. But for the rest of us, plowing through the d-lister source book provided at the end of this issue was just torture. I'm sure Frank will come up with all sorts of inventive ways to blow away these chumps, but why does it matter? The Hood can presumably just bring them back again. Kind of makes you wish for the golden days of Frank acing crack dealers, doesn't it? Like Iron Man, the writing here is solid and the art is great. But I just want something more, something better for Punisher. Garth Ennis brought about a revitalization of the character. It seems that goodwill is going to be gambled away on the hope that people want to read about Punisher interacting with people who wear capes and funny tights. Anyone who read Punisher under Ennis know that's just not the case.

Squadron Supreme #12
My prediction a few weeks ago about this series ending on a thud was correct. There was so much potential here for a good story, but that was all wasted. The original Squadron Supreme, the characters we all cared about, are pretty much ignored for much of this issue. Instead, we get to revisit the lame characters Chaykin created in the first six issues that no one, and I do mean no one, cares about. Those characters that do remain become powerless, rendering this universe pretty much dead for the foreseeable future. To add insult to injury, Ultimate Nick Fury is still trapped in this universe with no real resolution as to how he gets out. I hope Ultimatum will provide a satisfactory answer. In teh final analysis, this series just served to highlight the failure of Marvel and J. Michael Straczynski to get their act together and publish a decent end to this series. An ending that these characters deserved.


Ultimatum: Spider-Man Requiem #1
I promise this won't turn into my usual anti-Ultimatum rant. Of all the issues to come out of Ultimatum, this first issue of the two planned Spider-Man Requiem was the best thus far. Granted, this issue was a flashback issue featuring a fun story where Spider-Man helps Tony Stark out when Hydra decides to bust into his office building. As per usual, Bendis was on his A-game with this character. For all of the perceived faults Bendis has in his writing, there's no denying an electricity when he writes this title character. It's evident to the reader that he enjoys writing Ultimate Spider-Man stories and that the character works best when not involved with soul-crushing crossovers like Ultimatum. Bagley and Immonen also turn in great art for this issue. It's sad to think that Ultimate Spider-Man may be MIA from his own title in the coming months, but if the creative team can get back into the groove, Ultimate Spider-Man will once again become the premier Ultimate title.

X-Men Legacy #225
Mike Carey expertly puts an an end to the long Xavier Legacy arc. I've enjoyed this titles Xavier-centric focus in the last couple of years. Mike Carey has made Legacy one of the more thoughtful and well written X-books while exploring the theme of Xavier's redemption. This issue works as a lovely conclusion to that and offers a hint as to where the series will go from here. Xavier shows he's no louse by evenhandedly invading the Acolytes' hangout and defeating them without much of a fight. Professor Xavier is kind of a lame character, but Carey reinvented him as a brainy powerhouse who is not to be trifled with. It is my hope that this isn't the last we see of Professor Xavier in this type of context. I would hate to see him float back to his old digs of being the dead weight of the X-universe. As this chapter closes on Legacy and the Rogue chapter begins, one can't help but feel a sense of wonder at what Carey has accomplished. Kudos to Mike Carey. I hope we'll see more great stuff out of this title in its second chapter.

The End League #8
Damn. This book is still ending, isn't it? With every issue that comes out of this title, I want more. There's just so much going on in this title that it can't possibly end next issue. It just can't. Clones of Astonishman have captured Soldier American and Blur Gil and are attempting to find the Hammer of Thor. A team of heroes rush to get the Hammer of Thor before the Smiling Man picks it up. Alas, it appears that all engines are go for the final issue in #9. The pace of the storytelling is picking up, which is fine, but I hope everything gets a satisfactory conclusion next issue. There are a lot of plot lines floating out there. How can they possibly be wrapped up without leaving the reader feeling cheated? I don't think Remender can do it. So, um, Mr. Remender, please come back as soon as possible to this book as soon as possible. Please?


Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic#42
The moment many KoTOR fans have been waiting for finally arrived in this issue. The rogue Jedi Knight Revan, who eventually adds the title of "Darth" out front, makes his appearance here. We get a small, but important origin story for Revan here as related to the reader and Zayne's gang by future Sith Lord Malak. There is a killer fight here between Malak and Mandalorian Rohlan that has been boiling up for a while. The gears of war are4 just getting started, and with appearances by Revan and Malak here, the reader gets a sense that things are about to go from bad to worse for our fair adventurers. Miller turns in a solid, action-packed script that many fans have been begging for since the first issue of the series. There's no hyperbole involved there either; go back and read the earliest letter columns to find people begging for Revan to show up. I think this appearance will only ramp up demands for more Revan, especially as the video game Star Wars: The Old Republic promises to not finish the story set up in KoTOR's 1 & 2.

Star Wars Legacy #37
Legacy continues to be not only one of the best ongoing Star Wars titles out now, but ranks amongst the best ever published. Why? This issue exemplifies all that is right with Legacy and all that works with a good Star Wars story. Cade Skywalker continues to walk the fine line between scoundrel and hero, mixing equal parts of Han Solo and Anakin Skywalker seamlessly. We find Cade leading the crew of the Mynock on a mission to rob Imperials. We also find ample amounts of intrigue within the remnants of the Empire. While the galaxy at large does not know the true fate of Darth Krayt, buzz around the Empire has all the Moffs in a tizzy. Add in the appearance of Bounty Hunters at the end, and you have a fun read for any Star wars fan. It's a simple equation; Skywalker + scruffy looking scoundrels + Bounty Hunters + Sith + Imperial Forces = great Star Wars story. Legacy has great writing from John Ostrander that is backed up by consistently great art from Jan Duursema. These two creators are woefully ignored when it comes to "great" modern comic book runs.
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Panelology

by Brandon

Welcome to the latest edition of Panelology. I've been neglecting this column for a few weeks now, but it should be back into quasi-regular rotation now. What's been happening in the world of comic collecting? Besides the fact comic books are now officially too damn expensive, not much. Many companies seem to be pulling their punches in order to reveal some "big" items for the San Diego Comic Convention going on right now. Marvel are promising something big at today's convention. Who knows what it could be? It may even live up to the hype too. Maybe. But that's for another time and another column. This week, I stay focused on $3.99 comics, bid farewell to Ultimatum, discuss changes in Frank Castle land, and I report on my continuing education into DC Comics.

Singing the $3.99 Blues
Paying $3.99 a pop for your fix of whatever title getting you down too? I'm starting to feel it despite Mail order Comics having a great discount on books. The oft-grumbled about hottest trend in comics looks like it is here to stay for the long run. I've got to start seriously looking at my pull list for some fat to cut. The Ultimate Books are going to have to prove themselves to me once again after this dreadful Ultimatum business (more on that below). Uncanny X-men is wavering quite a bit these days with Matt Fraction's decent, but not over-the-top writing on that title. The same goes for Fraction's Invincible Iron Man; just how long can this "Most Wanted" story drag on?

One title I know that isn't going to make it is Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep. I am confident that this book is a goner from my monthly reading list without having read the first issue. How do I know this? This book from Boom is a good idea. What's not to like about bringing Philip K. Dick, arguably one of the best science fiction writers of his time, and his stories to the comic book medium? It's a natural fit. However, directly adapting the book word for word is not a good idea. I liked the concept at first, but at $3.99 an issue on the newsstand, I found that is isn't worth it. I pay $2.99 an issue through Mail Order Comics. That's still $71.76 for the entire twenty-four issue run. That's a ridiculous amount of money for a straight up adaptation of a book I bought in 1996 for five bucks.

Ultimatum: The End... and thank God!
Last week, Marvel released an ominous image promoting "The End" for the Ultimate Line. The date for the image was 7/29/09, the same day the final issue of Ultimatum hits the stands. The image set off speculation that someone would be meeting their doom. Fan consensus is centering on Wolverine right now, though others believe Magneto might be another plausible candidate. After all, Magneto has become quite a bit of a bastard since the storyline of Ultimates 3 involved knocking off his daughter Scarlet Witch. Some fans have even speculated that this could be the Ultimate version of M-Day since no Ultimate X-title has been announced since the revamping of the Ultimate Line. Having a title like "The End" does tend to send people into a bit of speculative tizzy.

Big whoop, right? It's not as if Ultimatum hasn't had its fair share of gruesome deaths. Who cares if they are going to kill anyone at this point? Anyone who cares what is happening in the Ultimatum books right now should pretty much leave their fanboy or fangirl I.D. card on their way out the door. The way characters have been treated and killed off in this series has been borderline insulting to fans who have kept up with the Ultimate Universe over the last nine years. I don't mind retooling the line. That is Marvel's prerogative. However, it needs to be done in a way that makes sense and doesn't slap fans in the face. I think fans of the Ultimate Universe need someone to blame for this poor storytelling choice. For some reason, Brian Michael Bendis and Mark Millar, founding fathers and creative heavyweights of the line, have somehow remained blameless in all of this.

Instead, the blame has fallen to Jeph Loeb. I hate to put all the blame on Jeph Loeb. This was a team effort, but he works so well as a lightening rod right now. Any fan wishing to cruise through any comic book message board can find anti-Loeb threads aplenty. I don't like or dislike Loeb. As a creator, his work often doesn't raise a blip on my radar screen neither in a good or bad way. He and I just don't cross paths often in my comic buying patterns. But let's face it, Ultimatum has been a stinker of a story from day one. He could have chosen an infinite number of ways to deal with retooling the line. The fact that he felt the need to wipe out half of the characters was wrongheaded. But that's what we Ultimate fans are stuck with; useless carnage and ineffective storytelling. The end can't come soon enough. I hope the new beginning finds the Ultimate Universe far removed from the business of Ultimatum.

Punisher Changes
Marvel also seem to be in the business of shaking things up for Punisher both in the Marvel and Max Universes. Punisher Max, or Frank Castle: Punisher, or whatever it's being called these days is about to be rebooted as PunisherMax. That's right, PunisherMax. No space between those words is necessary because, you know, that's cool. Despite the exceeding lame title, the creative teams looks kick ass. Jason Aaron will be lending his writing talents to the rebooted title, while Punisher-fan-favorite Steve Dillon will be handling art duties. I couldn't think of a better creative than this for the Max title. I have actually really enjoyed the rotation of writers the Max title has seen since Garth Ennis left, but I think the title needs a bit of stability in terms of direction. A stable creative team will go a long way in bringing back some of the fans who may have given up on ol'Frank when Ennis left. Plus, Aaron intends on introducing the Max versions of Kingpin and Bullseye, which sounds great. This could revitalize the Max title.

Over in the Marvel Universe, Rick Remender's Punisher title also appears to be going through some changes. In a press release Tuesday, Marvel revealed that "Rest in Pieces", or "R.I.P." for short (get it?), will be the next story arc in the ongoing Punisher series. Not familiar with it? Oh, you know the series I'm talking about. The one where Punisher has been relegated to taking on/out D-List villains no one cares about? Anyway, the "Rest in Pieces" promises to have Punisher put through the ringer by promising to change his life FOREVER!!! I know, I know. Marvel Comics aren't know for their advertising hyperbole. But there it is. You can check out a Marvel Q&A session with Rick Remender here. This sort of thing just smacks of the 1990s angel/demon storyline. And things were going so well for Punisher lately. Before becoming the D-Lister paradise, Remender started the series off strong. Like many titles in the Marvel Universe now, it has gotten too bogged down in this Dark Reign business to really be effective.

DC Education Update
My education in DC Comics is still ongoing. In terms of my buying habits, I'm still relying on the back issue bins for much of my re-education. Recently, complete runs of Captain Atom, Vigilante, Booster Gold, and Blue Beetle have found homes in my welcoming long boxes. I've found most issues of those comics for less than buck each, which is killer. I can get a stack of old school books at least four or five times higher than my modern books for the same price. Not only are they cheap, but they are providing some good reading time too. If you can't tell, I'm digging 1980s DC. These comics aren't mind blowing or anything, but they are a lot of fun. Next on my 1980s DC reading list will be Marv Wolfman's Teen Titans from the same era.

Just because I've been trolling the back issue bins for DC bargains does not mean that I have ignored modern DC. I've been checking out the Batman reboots and have enjoyed them thus far. Batman, Detective Comics, and Batman & Robin have all entered my buying habits for the near the future. I haven't added them to my pull list, but if I can find them on the newsstand at Books-a-Million I'll pick the issues up. Booster Gold is still a lot of fun even if the premise is wearing a bit thin. I'm avoiding the Blackest Night titles, but positive buzz may pull me into buying a trade down the road.

Help a fanboy out, though. Any other DC recommendations I should check into while I'm in the mood?



The end for now!
That's it! I should be back later this weekend with more reviews in my continuing Summer Reading series. Panelology will be back next week with a review of all the big time news out of San Diego.

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Summer Reading, pt. 1

by Brandon

Summer. This is the comic book fan's season for catching up and enjoying a good, geeky book while one should be outside instead. Jenn remarked last week while on our honeymoon, "How did comic books end up coming on our honeymoon?" Well, the answer really does boggle the mind; I packed them in a backpack and brought them with us. I made full use of the quiet setting of Sound off Kitty Hawk, North Carolina to catch up on some reading. Some of the titles are old, some are new, but they all get a little review from me here.

Grendel War Child #'s 1-10
Though this book takes place chronologically far beyond what I've read to thus far in the Grendel series (chapters 41-50, whereas I just entered the teens in my regular Grendel reading), I decided to give this miniseries a go since I picked it up for a buck a couple of weeks ago. It turned out to be a fairly accessible read, but not just in terms of Wagner's writing, but also the helpful recap pages at the front of the book and two-page review pages in the back of each issue which successfully and succinctly explained the entire history of the printed Grendel up to that point. Grendel Prime, the protagonist of this story, turned out to be a very effective Grendel. What he lacked in Hunter Rose's flamboyance, he made up for in true grit. This was a great miniseries and highly recommended, especially if you can find it on the cheap like I did.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars #6
No real trip would be complete without having read something in the Star Wars realm. Unfortunately, this last issue in the first Clone Wars arc was very disappointing. While the story of stopping intergalactic slavery would be interesting in, say, the 1860s, it just seemed a bit odd for a focus here. I realize Anakin was a slave, but the story's heavy "gee, this is soooooooo wrong" tilt from the beginning was a nonstarter. Of course slavery is wrong. Do we need six issues of action packed preaching to deliver that point home? This first arc was in no way as engaging as the first season of the television show. Maybe it will pick up soon, but if the second arc doesn't grab me, this book will be on the chopping block.

Justice League America #'s 46-50 (Glory Bound)& Annual #4 (JL Antarctica)
I'm almost finished with my rereading of the classic JLI from Giffen and DeMatteis. I have thoroughly enjoyed every issue and arc of JLI up until the Glory Bound arc found in issues 46-50. The first issue involving Guy Gardner going to a comic book convention was good, but the rest of the story fell flat. Much of the fun about the arc I suppose was to be derived from poking fun at the Captain America pastiche General Glory. The only catch was that... it just wasn't funny. Annual #4, however, was an excellent issue of the series that introduced the Antarctica branch of the JLI. The ineffective Injustice League and Gnort get assigned to patrol Antarctica and protect it from flesh-eating penguins. It was zany fun despite the fact that Gnort was featured so heavily. My only complaint really about this latter era of JLI is the fact that Booster Gold was MIA. He and Blue Beetle really made this title great. Despite my small grievances, this title really has rejuvenated my interest in the comic book medium. The JLI books have been fun to read. I feel old saying this, but they just don't make them like that anymore.

Justice League Europe #'s 23-28 & Annual #2
Of the various JLI books, JLE was the one I was most wary about reading, but it has in fact been one of the most enjoyable. The mix of action and Bwah-ha-ha is perfect in this title. Plus, it features some of the more consistently interesting JLI members; Captain Atom, Flash, Elongated Man, Power Girl and her cat, Rocket Red, and Metamorpho. Whereas the JLA title seemed to spend more time goofing around the embassy, JLE seemed to get out more and, you know, handle bad guys. Whether it was fighting huge works controlled by a league of captains of industry (issues 23-25) or fighting off Starro yet again (issues 26-28), this particular incarnation of the league was always fun and effective in their own little way. Any story that can make Starro seem not lame is a good story. Along with the above JLA issues, these issues can be found for ridiculously cheap prices, most likely less than a buck an issue. They are well worth your time to seek out.

Hero Squared #'s 1-3 & Special #1
Speaking of J.M. DeMatteis and Keith Giffen, someone recommended Hero Squared to me a while back. I bought the original miniseries and X-tra Sized special to try it out. While it was funny in many parts, I just don't see how this story could be sustained over a long period of time. It seems pretty finite to me. I'm glad to see that there are only nine issues after these initial four remaining because I just don't see the concept really stretching too far. It was a fun read, but if someone were inclined to want to check this creative team out, they would be much better served by seeking out the JLI titles.



Ultimate Hulk vs. Wolverine #6
Wow... that was a letdown. We waited for that? Seriously? While the Nick Fury part at the end was solid, the rest was lackluster, and that's being kind. A Wolverine and Hulk miniseries should be cool. It should be grandiose and over the top. This miniseries started off with a bang, but ended on a barely audible thud.






Ultimate Spider-Man #132
Did you read the above review? Kinda sucky. Well, that's pretty much my opinion of this issue too. It's been no secret that I think Ultimatum has been dreadful, but this is just crap. Ultimate Spider-Man was one of the best titles Marvel had going. It wasn't groundbreaking, but it was always consistent. Now that it has been mucked up by all this Ultimatum junk, it has become almost unreadable. Thanks, Marvel.


The Invincible Iron Man #13
Hmmm. Interesting. I have never read a regular, monthly Iron Man comic in my life, but something compelled me to pick this title up last summer and I've been enjoying it ever since. While I think this "Most Wanted" story arc has been going on for too long, I think Fraction is slowly building up to a boiling point that will be amazing. The inevitable confrontation with Norman Osborn should be the most exciting comic Marvel produces in this whole Dark Reign business, but that's up to how well Fraction and the other frame it. If you look at Invincible Iron Man, it looks like it will be explosive. Kudos on both the writing and art here. This is by far one of the best titles Marvel is producing now.

Daredevil #118
I believe it was King George the Third who wrote in his diary on July 4, 1776 that "nothing much happened today." The same could be said for this issue. Is it just me, or has Daredevil become to whiny lately? It just kind of drones on and on and on. We get to see Daredevil brood for much of the issue, which is highly original. For those who are a poor judge of sarcasm, that was definitely sarcasm. I want to read Daredevil stories that are exciting crime dramas, not emo-like pity sessions where Matt muses about how shitty his life has become. Get over it. That Daredevil story has been written at least eighty times. Let's move on, shall we?

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Spring Break Reading, Part 1 - Mighty Marvel Round-Up

by Brandon

Ever get behind on your comic book reading? I'm not just talking a handful of issues gathering dust on your nightstand. This type of "behind" would be largely the size of, oh, maybe a long box and a half. That's the situation I currently have before me. The stresses of work, planning a wedding, and just every day life have plagued my ability to catch up on my reading. Add to the mix some very large runs that I've been able to buy on the cheap lately and you have a massive problem. But have no fear, Spring Break 2009 is finally here! While most of my students are probably off having wild, teenager-style adventures involving fumbling sexual antics and wine coolers in exotic tropical locales, their teacher has voluntarily sat this Spring Break out to catch up on reading comic books. I'm taking one for the team and catching up on a load of reading. Fasten your seat belts! This is going to be a long ride Here are some pellet reviews of the books that have crossed my path thus far during Spring Break 2009.


Dark Tower: Treachery #'s 1-6
When I finished the book series, I was pretty bummed about the lackluster ending. I had my own feelings of trepidation when the comic books were announced. However, I have been surprised at how much I have enjoyed these minis thus far. Treachery helps shed some light on a few important events in Roland's youth as a young gunslinger. In this volume, we readers get to see how his mother's infidelities are dealt with in full. I won't spoil the plot, but Peter David and Robin Firth have successfully translated the world of the Dark Tower to comic books. I hope they will continue this series beyond these origin tales. Maybe that will make up for the crappy ending to the book series.

Uncanny X-Men #'s 506-507
Of late, I've heard the X-Men creative intelligentsia frequently say that the X-books don't require teams anymore because... because... um... well... because... We've moved past that point in history. ... Did I get that right, X-creators? Anyway, the focus of the X-Books is pretty much anything goes. That must mean quality too because ever since Manifest Destiny started, Uncanny X-Men has been uncannily boring. The art is pretty. The writing is decent. The total package is just dull, dull, dull, dull. Perhaps having a more cohesive team and roster for the book would help give it some focus. Oh, and get the X-Men out of San Francisco. It just isn't working. Sorry guys.

X-Men Legacy #'s 221-222
On the other hand, the X-men Legacy title has been killer. Two of my favorite X-Men are taking center stage for this arc, Gambit and Rogue. Both characters seem to have found a writer that can actually make them interesting without hamming each character up. Gosh, those accents just beg for it, I know, but Mike Carey makes these characters work so well. It's sad to think the Professor X story is ending since it has been a welcome return of the character's relevance to the pages of the X-books. For the first time in at least two decades, Xavier is an interesting character who isn't just a figurehead or out-and-out bastard. Kudos to Carey and teh rest of the Legacy team for making this one of the best X-books in years!

Wolverine: Manifest Destiny #4
Eh. This was the best thing I've read thus far from the Manifest Destiny titles. That's not a ringing endorsement though. This is a fairly forgettable Wolverine story. There are tons of those out there too. This story just happens to be inoffensive enough to be forgettable.

Ghost Rider #33
On one side of the coin, this issue was awesome just because of the sheer number of Ghost Riders it covers and shows. It sets up a fascinating backdrop for future exploration. On the flip side of the coin, this issue was pretty much a throwaway story that has no real meat to it. I'm glad the new Caretaker has decided to keep the fight going. Good job, Caretaker. But, um, was there any doubt that this would be the case? It's like having Superman handed his ass to him by some bit bad guy. Of course Superman is going to go whip his ass for that. Duh. Do we need to have a whole issue history lesson and pep talk to rev us up for that from a largely uninteresting character?

Squadron Supreme #'s 8-9
The first part of this series started off as a dud, but the last couple of issues have been great. Why? The Squadron is actually here instead of these new losers that Chaykin rolled out in the first arc. So the series has significantly improved with the return of Hyperion et al. Therefore, Marvel has to cancel this series. Oh well. Maybe this universe won't be totally forgotten, but I have a small voice inside that tells me it's done.

Daredevil #'s 116-117
This is an example of the "been there, done that" school of comic books, but it's so damn well written you almost want to forgive Brubaker & Co. for bringing back Kingpin. Almost. The first part to "Return of the King" actually works really well, but the second part feels like a retread of Kingpin/Daredevil truces of the past. At first, I was a bit sad that this creative team was moving on, but now I think maybe it's time. Note to future Daredevil writers; when you start wanting to bring back Kingpin, it's time to move on. Maybe there's an X-book you could write?

The Invincible Iron Man #'s 11-12
I have to admit that Invincible Iron Man is the first monthly Iron Man title I have ever read, but I'm really enjoying the hell out of it. Tony Stark is on the run and doing a nice tour of the Marvel Universe to boot. I didn't read Secret Invasion and am trying to avoid any Dark Reign stuff outside of the titles I usually read, but fans get a large dose of "Osborn won, get over it" here in this title. The art is absolutely gorgeous. It's hard to believe that this is the Salvador Larroca that drew some other, fairly ho-hum titles in the past.

Punisher #3
Already three issues into the new title and Remender is already doing a better job at it than Fraction did with War Journal. I already wrote about this a bit in my last Panelology article, but this is a quality title. However, I think Remender and other Marvel creators are wrong when they say Punisher doesn't have to be taking out these big fish he's gunning after. Um, that's what the Punisher does. He kills bad guys. End of discussion. If he's not doing that, then what's the point? That's why many people are attracted to the character. If you want an antihero that shows mercy, read Batman., If you want people killed like chumps, read Punisher. Next.

Ultimatum #3
Here's a little math to start off this review; Gory + shocking ≠ a good comic book. This series is almost a mockery of the Ultimate concept. Here's Marvels thinking; let's bastardize the core concept that this isn't the Marvel Universe by just killing off all this characters. It will be frickin' great! And shocking too! The only problem here is that it isn't good and it's tying the hands of future Ultimate stories. Oops, that characters dead. Screw it. Marvel is killing more than their Ultimate stable of characters. They are killing my interest. If enough fans are like me, that could be the most damaging death in this whole Ultimatum mess.


Ultimate Spider-Man #131
Despite the whole Ultimatum fiasco being just ridiculous, Ultimate Spider-Man still manages to make lemonade out of lemons. This isn't a great story by comparison to others that have appeared in this title, but it's still entertaining. The Hulk scenes were fun. But why didn't they kill Aunt May? Marvel's killing everyone else. Her ass has got to go in some Universe. Why not here?

Ultimate Fantastic Four #60 & Ultimate X-Men #100
I'm lumping these two titles together because Ultimatum has become a mercy killing for both of these titles. It seems that ever since Marvel decided to go with this Ultimatum mess, the creators of both of these titles have been farting around just waiting for the axe to fall. And it shows. The quality of both of these titles is poor, and that's being kind. Maybe they will come back in some form, but let's hope they can find some A-list creators to write solid stories, not just stories that will occupy space on the comic shelf monthly.

Ultimate Wolverine vs. Hulk #3
Late? Yes. Worth the wait? Probably not. Decent? Yeah, I guess. While an entertaining read, I breezed through this issue like the Flash on cocaine. This is what we waited so long for? Lindelof had problems writing this? Really? Entertaining, but hardly worth the wait.

That's it for now. Check back tomorrow for the Dark Horse and Wildstorm reviews!
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Panelology - Poor Frank

by Brandon
As the year comes to a close, most fans start to look back on all the things that made 2008 great for our beloved hobby. Comic books and comic book characters seem to be more in the forefront of popular culture consciousness now, thanks in large part to huge performances from blockbuster films based on comic book properties. In a year where theaters have already been graced with arguably three of the best comic book films thus far (Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, and The Dark Knight), The Punisher, the relentless Marvel Comics’ vigilante, returned to theaters for a third round of punishment with Punisher: War Zone. Though the film was heavy on fertile action movie territory like violence, blood, guts, shooting, and brutality, Frank Castle struck out with moviegoers yet again. The Punisher has definitely set out an impressive stake on an unwanted claim as Marvel’s unluckiest movie star. According to Hollywood.com, Punisher: War Zone has thus far only been able to shoot up $7.9 million dollars worth of damage at the box office. Compare that sum to the other Marvel starlets of 2008 and Punisher comes off look pathetically weak. Iron Man was invincible for Marvel, hauling a whopping $318.2 million in theaters, while The Incredible Hulk smashed up $134.5 million. Punisher is a guy who has gone toe to toe with the likes of Wolverine, Batman, and even Dr. Doom in the past. He should be able to make more than $8 million, right?

So what went wrong? What happened with this mighty Marvel movie that did not happen with Hulk or Iron Man? I am a huge Punisher fan and always will be a fan. While I actually did enjoy Punisher: War Zone on a “guilty pleasure” level, I understand how it would not click with a larger audience outside of the Frank Castle faithful. Some things worked, but much of it did not.

Both Iron Man and Incredible Hulk feature some stellar acting on the part of the primary characters. Robert Downy, Jr.’s Tony Stark and Ed Norton’s Bruce Banner were both compelling actors turning in solid portrayals of these larger than life comic characters. The same roughly holds true for Punisher: War Zone. By and large, Ray Stevenson does a bang-up job as Punisher. He was cold, ruthless, and domineering. He nailed the essence of the Punisher by embodying an unfeeling character well. Was it as good a job as what Ed Norton or Robert Downy brought to the screen this past summer? Definitely not, but Ray Stevenson deserves more kudos for doing a great job playing Frank Castle. He walked into a hard position here by walking into a role that has garnered little esteem in the past and managed to do a pretty decent job.

Does Frank Castle need a hug? Punisher: War Zone, just like the previous 2003 film, tried to humanize Punisher too much. In War Zone, we find Frank Castle accidentally killing an undercover agent, causing Punisher to rethink his war on crime. Frank decides to apologize to agent’s widow, leading to some very “touching” scenes between the slain man’s daughter and Frank. That was sarcasm. That type of civilizing just does not work for me, and I do not think it works for the big screen. I do not think the Punisher needs to be humanized. He is a cold, blunt instrument. He shoots criminals. That is as simple and complex as it needs to be. I do not think it is necessary to make Punisher a likable guy. Frank Castle is not a likable guy. At his root, he is basically a crazed murderer. His reason for being is taking out criminals. Period. Viewers do not desire or need to see Frank hand a teddy bear over to a little girl. Tony Stark and Bruce Banner can be humanized. They are moral tales with flawed, yet essentially good-natured heroes, where right triumphs over wrong. Punisher is not that kind of story. The area between right and wrong should be blurry with regards to Frank Castle. He cannot be saved, no matter how many little girls want to hug his neck at the end of the film.

The Punisher is only as good as his villain(s). This is true in both comic books and in film. One of the most compelling aspects of Garth Ennis’ long run on Punisher was his ability to bring in villains that did not seem to be caricatures or farcically deranged men in brightly colored tights. However, Jigsaw just did not cut it in this film. He was laughable at best and completely ignorable at worst. Jigsaw was so blatantly over the top and outrageous that it was hard to even believe you were watching the same movie when he came onscreen. The scenes featuring both Jigsaw and his brother were excruciating to watch. Jigsaw just never fit in with the rhythm of the rest of the film. He was an outlier occupying screen time that could have been better spent. I think I would have rather seen a movie where Punisher killed low level crack addicts for ninety-minutes than to have ever seen Dominic West’s Jigsaw for even a single frame. Dominic West is a solid actor, but this role was just brainless, especially in the face of such great villainy in Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, and especially The Dark Knight. The villain should compliment the hero, not overshadow him with ineffective goofiness.

Will Punisher ever make it as a hit comic-to-film character? Maybe, but he probably will not get another chance for a long time. The Punisher’s star has faded for now, with War Zone effectively killing off the brand for the foreseeable future. It will practically take a miracle to bring Frank Castle back to life on the big screen, but it is not impossible. Many people thought batman and Robin would kill the dynamic duo for years to come, but Batman Begins helped reinvent the franchise and energize excitement in the character of Batman. Could a Punisher Begins be too far down the pike? The possibility, though unlikely, is still there and that is all we Punisher fans have to hold onto for now
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BG Roundtable: Iron Man vs. Dark Knight

by Liana

Dan said that The Dark Knight was “arguably the best superhero flick ever.” Vocal Minority said “it wasn’t….I honestly think I enjoyed Iron Man more.” Thus, with a bit of nudging from your friendly neighborhood editor, a roundtable was born. Which was the better—or maybe even best ever—superhero movie? The Bad Genious debates the important issues!

Let us begin by conceding that everyone involved with the Bad Genious thought Iron Man and The Dark Knight were both EXCELLENT movies.

And now, a confession: your FNE doesn’t really like Batman. Shocking? Perhaps, but facts are facts. And the fact is that Batman, the character, has never found a place in your FNE’s heart. Odd, considering how much she loved the old 60’s TV show and Tim Burton’s first movie. So, as much as she liked The Dark Knight and found it a fantastic movie, she liked Iron Man more. A lot more.

Vocal Minority - I enjoyed The Dark Knight. But everyone raved about it being the “best film ever” and it wasn’t. I'm not even sure it was the best superhero flick I've ever seen. But that's the price of hype I guess. I can honestly say I enjoyed Iron Man more.

Betsy - I think Iron Man is easier to watch. The subject is a lot lighter and more fun.

Vocal Minority - I'm not sure what it is, but I don't think it's a question of ease-to-watch. I think there's a little bit of the fact that I've seen Batman on screen quite a lot, but never seen Stark before. It also helped that Stark is a more interesting character than Bruce Wayne.

Joe - Some of you are on crazy pills.

The General - I would possibly say that I enjoyed Iron Man more; it proved how good a super hero movie can be. But, I think that Dark Knight was a better movie; it proved that a super hero film didn't have to be a "super hero film."

Joe - The General is not on crazy pills.

Vocal Minority - I'm not utterly convinced you have sufficient perspective to make that distinction, Bat-boy....

Joe - Crazy. Pills.

Doug - With Iron Man, I always felt like I knew what was just around the corner. There were no surprises. With Dark Knight, I honestly didn't know what was going to happen next. I can't think of another superhero movie that really put me off-guard the way Dark Knight did.

Dan - Iron Man was limited in its scope because it had to go through all the motions of telling the origin and introducing characters.

The General - You basically knew what to expect and Iron Man knew what to deliver. For as pitch perfect as it was, it was also fairly “safe.” Batman was successful because Nolan was reinventing the super hero movie a bit, in terms of tone and storytelling. It had more in common with a movie like Heat than it did your standard super hero film.

Chris - Take away the superhero angles from both movies and what have you got? Iron Man was a kind of generic story about a weapons designer who sees the errors of his ways and tries to turn his company in a new direction only to have a money grubbing subordinate who wants to keep doing business as usual. The Dark Knight was a twisty crime caper with a psychotic antagonist that nobody knows what he's going to do next (probably not even himself).

Vocal Minority - I dunno about Iron Man being safer than Dark Knight. I mean you were right when you said that Dark Knight is very much like a crime film in the Michael Mann vein. But that doesn't make it less safe, just conventional in the crime-genre kinda way. Iron Man had a main character with marvelously complex motives and morals. One night stands, boozing, arrogant - whereas Batman is a far more conventional and, arguably, simplistic hero.

The General - I will say that, as good an actor as Christian Bale is, Robert Downey Jr. did a better job of inhabiting Tony Stark than Bale did Bruce Wayne.

Vocal Minority - Downey was miles better than Bale, but Stark's a much more interesting character, plus he was the focus of the flim.

So if Tony Stark and Iron Man are more interesting than Bruce Wayne and Batman, why does Batman make the better movie? Is it because Harvey Dent and the Joker are more dynamic that Obadiah Stane?

Brandon - The Joker is insane, but in the way it manifests itself outwardly lends to a pretty one-dimensional portrayal. However, Heath Ledger’s personality absolutely bleeds off the screen.

Betsy - Ledger’s Joker was absolutely unique in a way that made Jeff Bridges’ Stane look cookie-cutter by comparison.

Vocal Minority - Joker was interesting because he was so full-on and nothing else. But I think we're short-selling Stane, and indeed Bridges' portrayal here. Yes, he got a bit obvious as the threat-at-the-end, but up to that point... he was subtle. He wasn't obviously the villain. You knew he was unhappy with what Stark was doing, but it wasn't a raving, evil thing. He was parental and sympathetic - you could see why stark still trusted him until the complete betrayal. And when he was ruthless, it was a cold, menacing calm. The character might have been more of a stereotype, but Bridges' acting was great. Comparatively the Joker was just all-get-out nuts and chaos. Much easier to throw yourself into and come out brilliantly, especially when the script gives you so many opportunities to look great. Much easier to get right for the right actor.

The General - I agree with Tim that, up until he went evil, Stane was a sympathetic character, and you could see why Tony would trust in him. That's a big accomplishment for a character you knew was going to be the bad guy. But, it also was problematic because it meant his switch to evil was less believable. That said, Ledger’s Joker was better by a long shot.

Doug - Gary Oldman hasn't gotten nearly enough praise for his portrayal of Jim Gordon. And Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent was, arguably, the second-best part of Dark Knight.

Dan - And of course Dark Knight had Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine, who are always wonderful to watch on screen. Iron Man had the dude from Hustle & Flow.

But Iron Man had Jarvis!

Okay, your FNE is tired and her Internet connection is acting up. Any closing thoughts?

Chris - Iron Man needed the superhero aspect to raise the script above something mediocre while Dark Knight would have been an amazing crime film without it.

Joe - Iron Man was the best comic book movie to come out since Batman Begins, but prior to The Dark Knight. Dark Knight is the best movie I’ve ever seen.

So there you have it. The Bad Genious debated, and you’re all winners. But especially Iron Man, because your FNE still liked it better. Read more!

Two In One: Hulk & Iron Man game reviews

by Jon Quixote
Contrary to what The General (commander of the army of Wrong) may claim, the Hulk does not kill. I know this. Not one hour ago, I saw The Hulk pick up a New York pedestrian, pound him in the head three times, and then throw him into a city bus with enough velocity to cause an explosion. And in doing so, the Hulk took enough care to ensure that the man was able to get up, dust himself off, and run far far away.

Thus endeth the lesson. The Incredible Hulk, at least the one that stars in Sega's new video game, does not kill. No matter how hard I try to make him. He can't. I blame puny Banner.

But when it comes to property damage, however, Hulk makes Niko Bellic look like Rudy Giuliani. If you like to smash things - buildings, tanks, billboards, army men in high-tech exoskeletons - is this ever the game for you. And if you don't like that at all... well, I guess you shouldn't be spending your time playing video games anyway. You're busy figuring out what the hell is wrong with you.

In small doses, running a half-ton gamma-powered Godzilla through what looks to be decently rendered Manhattan is a lot of fun. The Incredible Hulk: The Game follows the GTA-inspired pattern established by the Spider-Man games: you have the run of the city, vertically and horizontally, with missions, challenges, and easter-eggs sprinkled throughout. And much like Ultimate Destruction, if you decide you want to leave Rick Jones to the Enclave and just start smashing the heck out of the city, you can do that too.

The nice thing about The Incredible Hulk is that there are lots of small coolnesses. From being able to unlock and play as the different Hulks, like Mr. Fixit, to a very active progression system, so far there's always been something to keep me playing. There are challenges within challenges like trying to maneuver the U-Foes to take each other out. There are comic book references, like DAMAGE CONTROL vans putting around the city (and irony, when you throw one hard enough to bring down the Chrysler building. That was awesome. But I'm a Ford guy, so maybe it's just me.).

I also really felt like The Hulk. Not just in regards to the raw power in the avatar, but also in more subtle ways. Do enough damage, and the army comes after you. But the mere act of moving around the city as the Hulk causes that damage, and if you land on one too many taxicabs while hopping to the next mission, you can find yourself being hunted mercilessly by armored vehicles and soldiers with sonic cannons no matter how benevolently you're playing. At one point, just trying to get to the next checkpoint and running into a battalion of army dudes, I actually exclaimed "$#@%!, leave me alone!" and then had to pause for a moment to reflect on what happened.


The major criticism I can make about this game is that there's not much in the way of large coolnesses. Much like the aforementioned Spider-Man games, I start to wear down. I'm not the best video game reviewer because I get bored very easily (the only game I've played through to the end in the last five years is CoD4). I'm surprised that a week later I'm still happy to give an hour or two to this game here and there, but I'm starting to fade. The storyline isn't engaging in the slightest, and the game never really rises above button-push fighting.

Did I mention Bi-Beast was in this game? I guess Woodgod was tied up i some sort of licensing snafu. Still, someone actually thought, "Hey, wouldn't it be cool if Hulk fought Bi-Beast?" I would like to buy that person a beer.

Still, it's the best comic book game I've played since Ultimate Alliance. It's basically a next-gen tweak of Ultimate Destruction, but the developers went out of their way not only to make it look gorgeous, but to make it a lot more fun. I think they're hampered by the parameters of what they're doing - there's nothing innovative going on behind this very basic, almost old-school game. But they did a pretty good job making something to satisfy both my twitchy ADD gamer self and my comic book geek side.

Verdict: B. Definitely rentable. Maybe even worth a purchase.

Iron Man, on the other hand, was a downright miserable experience. A herky-jerky aerial combat game that bordered on the unplayable.

Now, I'll cop to some personal bias here. I like video games. However, I suck at them. I'm a 30 year old who's more like 40 on the tech-curve. There's a type of game that seems to be gaining popularity as engines progress, and that's the type of game that's super-speedy and incredibly chaotic. Iron Man is in that style. A 3-D aerial combat version of Smash TV.

Maybe there's an art to these games that I just don't get, but that is incredibly enjoyable and satisfying to a certain demographic. But this is my experience with Iron Man: I'd fly over a hill and into a swarm of bad guys. I'd fly far away, I'd lock in on one, I'd fly through the swarm while firing on my target, and the target would blow up. I'd fly away again, heal if necessary (rarely necessary), and then repeat. Wheeeeee? I'd rather play that stupid horse riding game I saw in Untraceable. You know, the one that gives tech-savvy psychopaths access to all the data in my hard drive.

I also struggled with the controls and the camera mechanics. There's a part of the game where Tony is supposed to grab onto a US fighter jet and take it down that way (rather than shooting them down and being a bad citizen). Well, good effing luck that I could find the things most of the time, and great effing luck trying to line myself up with them so that I could try and precision-time the grab. Three planes need the treatment and that was an hour of my life that was spent having ever so much fun.

Terrorists try to smuggle some fun into this game, but Iron Man puts a stop to their plot.

The capper on this game for me came when I got to fight Blacklash! Yay, right? A kitschy villain who I was excited to run into in video-game form, who I'm never going to get to fight outside of a dedicated Iron Man game. Except that I never ran into him, and killed him from afar without ever even seeing his character design or figuring out how he was hurting me. (It was either a whip or a helicopter, I'm pretty sure) How lame is that? That's Teen Tony Lame.

So my apologies to the people who worked on this game. I'm sure you all worked very hard. But you all suck.

There was one good thing about playing Iron Man. And that's the fact that having save-game data on my XBOX unlocked the Iron Man Hulkbuster armor as a playable 'skin' on my Hulk game. Sweet. I just turned Incredible Hulk: The Game into Armor Wars: Iron Man vs. Tanks.

Verdict: D-. If you're a dedicated comic-book video gamer, and have nothing going on right now, maybe you might squeeze a couple hours of enjoyment out of this one. But that's about it.


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BG Roundtable Special: I Am Iron Man

by Liana

Well the fever has broken and the BG is in love. Do you think the Iron Man movie will marry us? Are there laws against that kind of thing? Maybe we could just lock it in our basement or something. But no, because then the world would not get to enjoy the amazing, astonishing, incredible, spectacular….you know, these adjectives just don’t seem quite right. The Iron Man movie ROCKED.

Steve - What a fantastic way to kick off the 2008 summer movie season! From the whiz bang opening to the crowd pleasing daydream of an epilogue, this film felt like it was made by a big group of people that cared. Even better, the principal players had the artistry, charm and comedic timing to convert that caring into a two hour story that made me grin, laugh and slap my wife on the leg twice.

Patrick - I loved it.

Cindy - I don't want to oversell it and spoil anyone's enjoyment of it. So I won't say that I came.

Jon Quixote - I loved it too. It met my lofty expectations.

Brandon - Iron Man was a great comic book film, possibly the best Marvel has done thus far. The casting was just perfect!

Steve - Robert Downey, Jr. gets Tony Stark. At the start of the film, Downey portrays Stark as a man teetering on the fine line that separates rogue and asshole. By the end, he manages to portray a hero without sacrificing the bad boy charm - not an easy feat.

Doug - Robert Downey Jr. OWNS this role. He's good in every single aspect...funny when it's needed, plays the jetsetting rock star playboy to a "T", emotes well in the serious scenes, and is even a believable badass at action time.

What about the rest of the casting? Your FNE was shocked how much she liked Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts. She was won over early, with the “take the trash out" line.

Cindy - Yeah, she was really good in the role. I couldn't decide who was hotter, her Pepper or RDJ's Tony. I was very conflicted.

Doug - Jeff Bridges plays Obadiah Stane the way Kevin Spacey should have played Lex Luthor.

Whoa. This is getting too lovey dovey. Anyone have any complaints that aren't about Superman Returns?

Vocal Minority - I can't actually think of a superhero adaptation I've been to where I've not gone away--at least in part--thinking about the bits that didn't work. Iron Man broke that run. If you press me about it now I might be able to summon a few niggles, and in a few months who knows.

Doug - The biggest problem specific to this movie is that the big ending battle didn't really offer anything original.

Quixote - I didn't really like how Stane transforms into an idiot crazy into the last act. I mean, let's say he kills Iron Man and escapes SHIELD. What's next for this billionaire on the run? I understand the need for a big slugfest at the end. In fact, I demand one. But Stane was so smart and calculating throughout, it was a shame to see him all of a sudden flick a switch and become rampaging psycho villain in a 60's comic. "First I'll kill you Stark and then... I'll rob a jewelry store!"

Doug - The biggest problem common to this movie and all "origin" movies is that the time spent introducing and developing characters and establishing relationships is time I found myself saying "Let's get back to the action already!" But that time is necessary and done well here.

Dan - I don't think Iron Man dragged or suffered at all from going through the origin story. It was incredibly well done and even though I was very familiar with it, it was a lot of fun, exciting and even felt new. The same definitely can't be said of other super-hero flicks like Spider-Man or X-Men when it's the backstory everyone knows for an entire movie (Spider-Man) or team building for three-quarters of the movie (X-Men).

Was anyone else slightly annoyed that even though we saw Tony have to practice working his suit a whole lot, Obadiah Stane just hopped into his suit and worked it like a pro on his first go?

Chris – Yes. I also thought the reveal of him being Iron Man seemed to be too soon. I thought it would have been better in the middle of the next film.

Doug - The last four words before the credits ROCKED.

It was a total rock star moment. They set it up perfectly, with Tony expressing his own disbelief with the bodyguard story and Robert Downey Jr.'s slow, nuanced realization that he could be a superhero and immediately running with it. Sorry Chris, but you’re wrong. That was a Great Movie Moment. So it is edited, so it is true.

Okay people, time to wrap this up. Your Friendly Neighborhood Editor wants to eat her soup while it’s still hot.

Quixote – Man, did the movie ever look goood. So clean and crisp and clear and bright and shiny.

Steve - Much like Sam Raimi did for the first two Spider-Man movies, Jon Favreau elevates an already above average script by injecting unexpected and welcome humor. The “relationship” between Stark and his robotic arm assistant is a hilarious running cinematic gag, “cinematic” in the truest sense of the word because the laughs completely relied upon angles and timing.

Cindy -I enjoyed Tony's relationship with his little robot arm helpers. That and the fact that he gave Jarvis such an interactive personality really shows how isolated he was from actual people.

Doug - Jarvis is very cool and a great touch for us fanboys. And there's a plane with a stripper pole.

VM - A plane with a stripper pole! What more could you ask for?

Steve - Unlike lowbrow dreck like X-Men 3, Fantastic Four and Transformers, this is a film that deserves to make the hundreds of millions that greet tent pole movies. From this extremely pleased audience member’s point of view, this project was a labor of love for the writers, director and actors. They should be thrilled with what they created.

Ratified.
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