Shout Outs! and Scream Ats!

by Matt


Welcome to another "Shout Out/Scream At!” column! where I take a look at what makes me a happy fanboy (Shout Outs!) and what frustrates me (Scream Ats!) about the comic industry. With this column I will be covering Captain Britain, DC's Blackest Night, X-Men Origins: Wolverine and DC's Human Target hitting the small screen.!

SHOUT OUT! Blackest Night
I have never collected Green Lantern. My first exposure to the character (and to the DC Universe) was Zero Hour and Grant Morrison's JLA. I have always been intrigued by the concept of Green Lantern but never made the move to try him out officially by reading his book. I was also a little dissatisfied with Final Crisis and was slowly losing my interest in the DC universe as a whole. I was not going to pick up the Blackest Night event but there were 3 things that made me want to at least check it out. First, the Martian Manhunter revealed as a Black Lantern. The Martian Manhunter is my favorite DC character and I was ticked that he was killed in Final Crisis (I was real happy with Final Crisis: Requiem) and I am really curious about where being a Black Lantern will take him. Second, I couldn't resist Blackest Night #0 since it was free and it had a great balance of new content and provided enough information for me to catch up with all the current Green Lantern news. And I have always liked Johns writing and Ivan Reis's artwork. And lastly, Mailordercomics had the first issue for only 99 cents so why not give it a read? I am hoping this event is great. I have dropped all DC books and I miss the DC Universe.

SCREAM AT! X-Men Origins: Wolverine
For the most part I enjoyed the film and I saw it a second time with my dad and it was much better with a second viewing. I am not the type to be picky about how the movie compares to the comic, so I didn't mind the changes that were made to some of the characters. What I didn't like, and still didn't like upon the second viewing was the death of Silver Fox. I just found it utterly unbelievable that Wolverine would have been fooled with her death. He has been around death by being involved in so many wars, I am sure he could smell it. And the blood Sabretooth poured on her? Wolverine would know if it was her blood or not, I don't think he could have been fooled so easily. It would have made Sabretooth all the more bad ass if he had really iced her the first time.

SHOUT OUT! Banshee in Wolverine movie!
Did you catch the small cameo of my favorite X-Man Banshee? You do remember that Banshee was the FIRST X-Man to be portrayed live action. Anyone remember that horrible Generation X pilot? This huge Banshee fan was so bored he fell asleep and missed most of the show!

SHOUT OUT! Human Target TV series
I loved, loved the last Human Target comic series produced by Vertigo. I highly recommend snagging the first Human Target miniseries to get a taste of what the Human Target is all about. The small clips of the show look a little hokey and I am hoping that Hollywood doesn't just make this a cliche action show. I hope that they stick close to the Vertigo series and really make the stories about the man (Christopher Chance) having difficulties with taking on multiple persona's. Either way, I am looking forward to the series and will certainly catch it when it hits the airwaves. You can see the video clips here.



SCREAM AT! Captain Britain Cancelled
Paul Cornell recently stated on his blog that Captain Britain and MI:13 has been canceled. BOOOO! This was perhaps the only Marvel title that I was enjoying consistently. I thought Cornell really understood the Captain Britain character, Cap has not been written like this since the old Ellis run on Excalibur. What really makes me scream about this cancellation is that I was certain (and I could be wrong) that Joe Quesada said he was raising the prices on more popular titles so that Marvel could continue to afford to put out less popular titles like this one. It feels like Marvel is taking their money and running. I would have gladly paid $3.99 for this book anyway and I am happy that Cornell got to end the book the way he wanted too.

SCREAM AT! Captain Britain Omnibus Rescheduled Again!
I am sure that with Marvel releasing this huge Omnibus they wanted to capitalize on both the success and buzz of the new Captain Britain series and name drop Alan Moore. Funny, (well, not really that funny) that the new Captain Britain series has just been canceled and this Omnibus has been moved from June 17th to a new shipping date of July 1st. This was supposed to have been released March 25th. Now I fear that Marvel might just cancel this book entirely!
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Panelology

by Brandon

What do Punisher, Eminem, Free Comic Book Day, Wolverine, Star Trek and DC's Multiversity have in common? Do I really have to tell you they end up being discussed in this week's column? I do actually rant and rave about all of these things. Enter, those who are brave.

Free Comic Book Day Recap
I hope everyone had a good Free Comic Book Day this past Saturday. Mine was so-so. I visited two shops over the course of the day. Heroes Aren't Hard to Find in Charlotte, NC is where I always visit on FCBD. I think I've missed one year making the pilgrimage north. This year was a fairly disappointing year both in terms of the titles offered and how Heroes had actually set up the store. Of the titles offered, I really enjoyed the Love & Rockets book. It's nice to see L&R jump into the FCBD foray. The rest of the titles offered were pretty bland. Heroes had the titles spread out all over the store on the shelves next to the regular titles. That's good for them to get exposure of the regular books, but bad for fans who had to fight the crowds to get to the free books. Also, their enforcement was lax. I personally saw one guy who was pilfering seven or so copies of each title as he moseyed around the store. It doesn't take the detective skills of Batman to know where those books wound up. Can anyone say "Buy it now?" However, I did pick up the first three volumes of X-Men Essentials for less than $20. That was awesome. Newsarama had a good recap story of the fun had by all at Heroes, if you're interested.

That afternoon, I went to Heroes & Dragons in Columbia, SC. While the only free book they had left was Blackest Night, they had a phenomenal sale going on in their store. I have visited this store in the past when they have had their "sales" going on and wasn't too impressed. I walked in thinking I would walk out with very little. Wrong! Their sale was absolutely fantastic! Nearly everything in the store was on sale, if not at least 50% off. I managed to pick up quite a healthy stack of Justice League Europe issues, more than thirty in all, for around $23. Not bad. Not bad, at all.

Punishing Eminem
Reading about the Punisher/Eminem team-up this past week has depressed me a bit. Sweet Jesus, I thought we had moved past the era where we had to have ridiculous crossovers involving Frank. I guess not. Though Frank has teamed up with lots of folks ranging from Wolverine to Archie, this one most definitely takes the cake for the "WTF" award. I think Punisher would put a bullet between the little prick's eyes just for the principle of the matter irregardless for his misogyny. If you're interested, XXL has the first part and should be on sale for your reading pleasure. Marvel will probably release a collected edition of the story... which means I may buy it.

I know, I know. Damn me to hell for being a Punisher completest. In a bit of positive Punisher news from Robot 6, it appears as if Jason Aaron ad Steve Dillon might be the new creative team on Punisher Max. Cool. I'm down with that so long as it's 100% Eminem free.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine = Meh
Already seen Wolverine? I did last weekend. It was mindless fun at best. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great either. I think there were lots of cool snippets and scenes throughout the film, but I kept feeling like there was something missing. Perhaps it was a cohesive threatening villain? I never really felt any suspense throughout the film because Stryker and Sabertooth were going to live and Deadpool was pretty much a no-show until the final, over-the-top action scene. It was cool to see Gambit, but he could have been used a bit more. In fact, my biggest complaint about the entire film was the usage of too many mutants. It was cool to see them all on the big screen, but if they had just stuck with a couple core characters, it would would have been much more effective. I could have given a shit when Bolt was killed if they had taken the time to build him up. I could have given a shit that Xavier showed up beyond a "hey, that's neat" knee-jerk reaction if they had built that yup a bit more. Instead, we get a Cliff Notes version of each character at best; quantity over quality.

The film probably falls somewhere between X-3 and X-1 for me, with X-2 still being the best. maybe they will choose to move the story further in the next film rather than diddling around in the past. I feel like the above complaints make it seem like I hated the film. It was enjoyable and action packed, what you would expect from a Wolverine film. I think the cast could have been cut by at least half in order to provide a little breathing room rather than providing the obligation to spend a little time with a lot of characters. The general consensus amongst critics and fans is that the filmmakers should have let this one cook a little bit more. Let's hope they get off to a better start with the next film.

Making the Trek
Wolverine can kiss his spot at the top of the box office for good this weekend. Star Trek comes out today. I saw it earlier and it is wonderful. Very seldom does a hyped film live up to its hype, let alone even surpass it. Star Trek does. J.J. Abrams somehow manages to breathe life back into the barely limping franchise with this movie. Hardcore Trek fans will find much to complain about, but as a casual Trek fan, this was just an awesome film watching experience. Each actor must have been carefully vetted by the creative team behind this movie because they all nailed their roles perfectly. The mix of action, sharp banter, and the promise of a new day for Trek fans is overwhelming, but in a good way. I won't spoil anything for you, my fine readers. Just go see the film.

Flunking out of the Multiversity
I think DC hates bringing in new fans. I really do. I've been on a reeducation journey with DC, picking up books that I enjoyed from my youth and books that I missed out on that are supposedly classic. With such an emphasis on old DC, I must admit that my curiosity about what's going on in the modern DCU is piqued. Well, it is until I read an interview or story like this; Multiversity. What the hell, DC? Do you enjoy confusing people that much? Do you need to mire all of that talent under your publishing house in all of that useless continuity and multiple universe junk? I would have thought the fan backlash from Final Crisis would have taught DC a lesson. Instead, it seems that they are getting trapped in Grant Morrison's endless cycle of ideas. I love many things Grant Morrison has written. he's one of my favorite creators. However, he seems to be throwing a lot of big ideas on the wall with very little thoughtful execution to shore them up with. I think DC needs a Dr. Phil style intervention. I would pay big money to see Dan Didio sitting across from Dr. Phil as he starts into one of his "Dan, what's your problem?" rants. Maybe that very event is occurring in the multiverse right now. Who knows?
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Shout Outs! and Scream Ats! Special Wolverine Edition

by Matt


Welcome to a very special “Shout Out/Scream At!” column dedicated to my fellow Canadian Wolverine! With the new Wolverine movie coming out I am dedicated this column to what makes me a happy fanboy (Shout Outs!) and what frustrates me (Scream Ats!) about Wolverine.

SHOUT OUT! Hugh Jackman as Wolverine
I never thought in my wildest dreams that they could get an actor that could portray Wolverine the way Hugh Jackman did. And I cannot imagine anyone else playing Wolverine. Hugh was the third man cast for Wolverine, Russell Crowe was the first choice but he backed out due to the pay he was going to get. Dougray Scott was the second choice but he had to back out because of another movie he was filming. Hugh Jackman was the right choice and I knew it the moment I saw him.



SCREAM AT! Wolverine's claws
This drives me nuts to no end. Ever since the X-Men movie came out, Wolverine's claws have looked different. In the beginning, Wolverine's claws came out on top of his hands. Not in between his knuckles. Marvel claims that movies do not affect the comics but I call baloney on this one. I am old school, I think they looked cooler on top of the knuckles and not in the middle of them.





SHOUT OUT! Wolverine Declawed
It sure took Magneto a long time to finally just rip the metal out of Wolverine and I couldn't believe that it actually happened in X-Men #25. What I really liked about it is that it took Marvel a good chunk of time for the Adamantium to return. Wolverine without metal first appeared in Wolverine #75 and it took until issue #145 to get it back. That was about five years he had the bone claws! And that was another cool surprise seeing him pop the bone claws for the first time. I thought Marvel really showed some guts with this move. They first teased him getting his metal back with #100, which I liked because Wolverine chooses to be an animal than pay the price for getting the metal and that it swerved readers and the metal would not come back for another couple of years. Unfortunately he looked really, really stupid. No nose, really hairy arms, he walked like an ape and wore a bandana. Ugh, that part was just horrible and I was glad it didn't last that long.

SCREAM AT! Daken Overdose
I didn't mind the addition of Daken in Wolverine: Origins but he is wearing out his welcome. Wolverine is overexposed but at least I like that character and I never felt in the beginning that he was forced down my throat the way Daken is. Marvel is trying to hard to make me like him by throwing him all over the place. To be fair, I do like that he is part of Dark Avengers but I am not happy that he is taking the best Wolverine costume with him!




SHOUT OUT! Wolverine: First Class
This series makes me laugh. I don't consider this series to be canonical and I think that is what makes me like it. There is nothing mind blowing about this series but I enjoy it quite a bit. I really like that his relationship with Kitty feels like it got its start here. Issue #6 is my favorite. Wolverine has to babysit Kitty, Siryn and Amp (the girl they rescued in the first issue) and all he wants to do is watch the hockey game. And of course, that doesn't happen. This book is just harmless fun.



SCREAM AT! Wolverine "Enemy of the State"
I did enjoy Mark Millar and John Romita Jr's run on the book quite a bit. Romita was the main pull for me and I was not disappointed. The story was like a summer action picture and I was in for the ride. The thing that really bugged me about this run was Wolverine killing Northstar. I didn't mind that Millar had Wolverine killing a teammate but I think it was not as a big deal as Millar thought it was. Wolverine killed a teammate but he did not kill someone he was extremely close too. Wolverine never served with Northstar in Alpha Flight, Wolverine was before his time. Northstar and Wolverine were not friends, they were co-workers at best. They never hung out together and Northstar was barely a member of the X-Men when he was killed. It would have made the impact Millar wanted if only Millar was able to kill someone that meant more to Wolverine. I can think of at least five other Alpha Flight members that would have meant more to him than Northstar. Now I am not saying it was not traumatic, it just wasn't as big as Millar and Marvel hyped.

Wolverine still ranks as one of my favorite characters and no matter what happens to him, I will still want to read about it.
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Covering the Wolverine

by Matt

Wolverine has graced a ton of covers and here are my Top Ten Best Wolverine covers and my Top Ten Worst Wolverine covers. It was difficult to really pinpoint which ones I loved but it was not difficult at all in picking the worst ones. They were quite a few stinkers in there. Does one of your favorites make my list? Or does it land in the worst list? Snikt on!







TOP TEN WOLVERINE COVERS

#1) WOLVERINE #1 (1st Limited Series)
Nothing says Wolverine the way this cover says it. Frank Miller really captured the essence of Wolverine with this single cover. Wolverine is smart, cocky, brash and bad-ass! All in one cover.









#2) UNCANNY X-MEN #212
This was the first time we saw Wolverine battle Sabretooth and this cover shows us that Wolverine can be hurt. This was before he took hits all the time. He was smarter than, he didn't fight unless he had too. Barry Windsor-Smith really knew how to show a hurt Wolverine. His art is in two of my picks and was almost chosen a third time with Uncanny X-Men #205.






#3) MARVEL COMICS PRESENTS #79
Barry Windsor-Smith's epic Weapon X is one of the best Wolverine stories. One of the best parts of his story is that it was presented in Marvel Comics Presents in short 8-page increments. This way we get more cool covers. This was the best of the bunch and showed how painful it was for Wolverine when he was transformed into Weapon X.






#4) UNCANNY X-MEN #251
Marc Silvestri is one of my favorite artists and one of my favorite Wolverine artists but it seemed like he didn't draw that many outstanding covers featuring Wolverine. This was my favorite that he drew, I loved the way he is in shadows. You don't have to show the gore, my mind can make it all up.







#5) CAPTAIN AMERICA ANNUAL #8
I remember picking up this issue only because of the cover. I had no interest in Captain America and my small allowance only allowed a few cheaper comics. This was a big annual and I had to get it. I loved the clash of the shield and the claws, the sparks and the impact. And as a kid, deep down inside I had always wanted to know if Wolverine's claws could cut Cap's shield.





#6) UNCANNY X-MEN #394
This was Joe Casey's first issue of his run on Uncanny and I couldn't believe my eyes. Would he really change the status quo and make Jean and Logan a couple? This cover showed how wild Jean could be with Wolverine and I secretly hoped this would be a permanent thing.







#7) ORIGIN #2
It sure looks like it is very painful when Wolverine pops his claws. I love this cover because you can feel the claws. The blood, the way the skin protrudes, it didn't look very pleasant.









#8) INCREDIBLE HULK #340
I never noticed that Wolverine would have sharp teeth as well as his claws until I saw this cover. McFarland really shows how wild and feral Wolverine can be.










#9) WOLVERINE #79 (1st series)
It was shocking enough to me that Wolverine would have bone claws. I didn't even think that they could break off! I imagine that it would be extremely painful and this cover shows the shock and anguish.









#10) ASTONISHING X-MEN #17
This cover just makes me laugh. I thought it was a joke (and so did my dad when he saw it today) that Marvel would publish it. I hated it at first but Cassaday really nailed the look on his face. This might have been the first time I have seen Wolverine terrified!



And now the TOP TEN WORST WOLVERINE COVERS for your viewing pleasure!




#1) MARVEL COMICS PRESENTS #93
RRRRR Matey! What is this exactly? A pirate? What is up with the earring? With his healing factor is that even possible? Is he coming to eat my steaks with those knives?









#2) NEW AVENGERS/TRANSFORMERS #2
This is what happens when Wolverine is full of hot air. His head is square and his body is like the Michelin Man! I get it, this is a Transformers series and maybe Wolverine is transforming into the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man!








#3) SPIDER-MAN AND WOLVERINE #3
What is wrong with his head? Why is it sticking out so far and is his wrist broken? If Wolverine was not on the title, I would have thought it was someone else!










#4 WOLVERINE: FIRST CLASS #10
It looks like Wolverine is holding butter knives between his fingers. C'mon, you know I am right. You've done the same thing! I admit it. We have had a fat Wolverine, now we have a skinny one!









#5 UNCANNY X-MEN #423
Goatee Wolverine. So glad that didn't stick. Ultimate Wolverine was cool at this time and that is why regular Wolverine looks JUST like him. And why are there chains hanging from the top of the comic? For a 25 cent issue, Marvel could have done a better job but maybe they were trying to get all those people that were picking up Ultimate X-Men.






#6 UNCANNY X-MEN #502
Wolverine's arms are WAY too big here. They are larger than his canuckle-head! And his arms look like fifty pound stuffed Braunschweiger, with the plastic still on it since it is so shiny!









#7 WEAPON X #1
Mousse was not invented in the Age of Apocalypse. I liked that Wolverine only had one hand but I hated his mane. He looked like a cross between a lion and a hyena. This cover really showed how horrible it looked.








#8) WOLVERINE #59 (1st Series)
Steven Segal should have been cast as Wolverine! He also had a ponytail (it was revealed in the comic). Was he pudgy as well?










#9) WOLVERINE #6 (2nd Series)
Wolverine himself looks okay here but the way he is leering at Nightcrawler here. And is Kurt naked? Maybe Wolverine is making Kurt dance for some beer? Maybe Kurt owes Wolverine too many cases of beer and is paying it off with a lap dance?








#10) ULTIMATE X-MEN #1
Again, the goatee just doesn't work. Wolverine also looks like a teenager. I almost didn't pick this series up because of the crappy cover.
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Wolverine Plot Generator

by Brandon
Wolverine is one of those characters fans just love to hate. For better or worse, Wolverine really is one of those characters that seems to just be everywhere. Many people like to slack off on the character in public while they secretly opine for him behind closed doors. There's no denying the character is just slightly overused in the Marvel Universe. But hey, why not? The character can move a book like hotcakes. There's definitely a market out there for stories involving the ol' knucklehead. There are only so many ways you can write Wolverine stories and yet they keep coming. There are commonalities between Wolverine stories. Many of the stories are rife with cliches. Some are just downright pitiful in their formulaic mechanics. But never fear! You too can write the most mundane Wolverine story to ever grace a Guardians of the Galaxy issue! With this hand-dandy Wolverine Plot generator you can have Wolverine riding on his motorcycle in no time trading fisticuffs with Sabertooth or some other villain.


The Protagonist...
There is really only one type of protagonists in Wolverine stories; Wolverine. The thing any hack has to sort out is whether Wolverine will be in costume or in his civvies. If you go with a costume, the decision then lies in what type of costume. Do you go for the brown and red? How about the blue and yellow? Maybe the X-Force black and gray? Whichever one you go with, it's sure to impress any Hand ninjas or Marauders you met up with in your story. If you decide to go the civilian clothing route, please, please, please make sure he's a white shirt, bluejeans, and a leather jackets. A hat is optional, but no other clothes need apply.



The Antagonist(s)...
Wolverine has many, many antagonists you can choose from. With a population of over 6.6 Billion people on the planet, Wolverine could spar with just about anyone! And let's face it, this is a comic book! Anyone could be a villain! A guy pops off to Logan in a bar? FIGHT! A super-villain trashing a meeting of a Japanese crime lord's family who has contacted Wolverine as a favor to a trouble Asian woman who needs the tender strong arm of a mutant because she has a death contract out on her based on a meeting Wolverine had with a visiting Buddhist holy monk thirty years before? FIGHT!Cyclops getting him a piece of ass with White Queen? FIGHT! With Wolverine, anyone can be a potential threat. However, provided are a list of villains you may want to choose from...

- Sabertooth: An oldie but goodie. Lots of folks will be familiar with this guy, but think of all the rad/dated dialogue you could write that you and others have already read a million times. The possibilities are limitless in its limitlessness! Again!

- Magneto: Oh yeah. Who wouldn't want to write the Master of Magnetism? Wolverine has ripped this guys head off before. But that was a clone. Or something. An evil spirit? Dammit, I can't remember. He was something, but dude, regardless of evil doppelgangers or junked out mutants, they should totally have a rematch!

- The Hand/Ninjas: Wolverine fighting ninjas never gets old. Sure, it gets a bit boring. And yes, the eastern mysticism and witticisms do get a bit strained, but come on, it's ninjas! And Wolverine! How freaking awesome is that?

- Cyber: This is the poor man's Terminator... or is it the Terminator's poor man? Either way, this guy has a major mad-on for Wolverine. Like Sabertooth, you don't even need a reason for these two to fight, but adding in Daken or some ancient sword couldn't hurt.



The Setting...
Wolverine is a proverbial Renaissance Man when it comes to settings. From to the tropical to weird, the wild to the tame, from Space to the N-Zone, Wolverine is such an adaptive character to any environment. He's like a rabbit, but not. Because rabbits are wusses. Wolverine is not. Just FYI. Here are just a few places you can throw Wolverine;

- Road Trip: It never hurts to start a Wolverine story off with the main man riding on his motorcycle. Whether it be through a forest or city, it's just so refreshing to see riding his bike, the wind whipping through his claws.

- The Savage Land: The jungles of the Savage Land are wild and savage. The Savage Land is like, um, a metaphor for how wild and savage Wolverine is. I think. Wolverine is a savage beast. Savage! The Savage land is a land of savage beasts. The savagery unleashed by any savagely set story in the Savage Land would be so savage that Wolverine would have to unleash a savage rage!

- Bar/Truck Stop: Wolverine isn't your typical pansy. He doesn't go frat housing with your typical fraternity lowlifes who enjoy paying for each others company with Daddy's trust fund while they create memories whilst singing Jimmy Buffet's back catalog. No, Wolverine likes to go to the seediest bar or truck stop as only the great true north strong and free can provide. If Wolverine isn't picking up lot lizards, he's at least got to be busting heads over some local yokel's ignorant attitudes towards "muties." If you want to add extra spice to the scene, have Juggernaut or Sabertooh bust into the bar. From there, these scenes should just write themselves.

- San Francisco: This whole move to San Fransisco during the Manifest Destiny "non-event event story" has been lackluster. Wolverine just needs to spice up the town a little. Sure, he's already had his obligatory "I'm taking over an ancient order of kung fu hooligans while getting a cool new shamanistic mentor to teach me the true ways to become the Karate Kid" story with the Wolverine: Manifest Destiny miniseries. But what we need more of is a second "I'm taking over an ancient order of kung fu hooligans while getting a cool new shamanistic mentor to teach me the true ways to become the Karate Kid" story. Then, to really make sure the reader get the point, it is highly necessary that Marvel push for a third "I'm taking over an ancient order of kung fu hooligans while getting a cool new shamanistic mentor to teach me the true ways to become the Karate Kid" story.m That would so rock!

- Weapon-X Installation: When all else fails at the laptop, your blank word processing page mocking your every attempt to squeeze adamantium out of the keys, there is one place where any Wolverine writer can go to find the El Dorado of all Wolverine stories; Weapon X! While the Russians and Americans were building nuclear weapons and launch facilities, the Canadians were wisely spending their time building bunkers to test cool things out on soon-to-be-cool comic book characters. I mean, there have only been 1,326.5 stories dealing with Wolverine going on a vision quest of sorts to one of these fabled facilities where, alas, his innocence was lost. Shed no tears for this, though. Wolverine should simply show, kick some ass, and then swear to never return to any Weapon X facility again. For at least two issues. Maybe three. Check the current solicitations before you promise anything.



The Goal
Wolverine is a busy man. I mean, shit, brutha' shows up in at least fourteen titles a month at a minimum. You have to have goals and objectives to get around that much. Wolverine doesn't strike me as the kind of hero who keeps an updated schedule on his Blackberry, so he has to have a purpose before he gets entangled with the Heroes for Hire this week or Quasar and the Cosmic Rollers next week. Here are some goals that should help Wolverine ease through your story like a hot claw through butter;

- Do it for Jean!: Wolverine should always be pining for his lost redheaded love. This gives him a sense of purpose. A nice flashback of the two coyly flirting in the Danger Room should suffice. Anything that follows such a scene is golden. If Logan thinks that he can make up something to his dead crush, then he'll do it with gusto! There's only one girl Wolverine ever loved, and that was so many years ago. And though he'll never get her out of his heart. She never really loved him back. ... Chrsit! I'm sorry. I just totally channeled Meat Loaf there. Forgive me.

- Save the World!: Nothing quite gets at a superheroes goat like threatening the peace and security of the world. Ending all creation is a motivating activity. Villains threaten to do this all the time, but few can actually pull it off. Someone would have to flood New York or create an alternate world where Charles Xavier is killed and Apocalypse takes over. It would have to be some serious shit to get Wolverine good and pissed off, but it could happen.

- Save Canada!: I wish Canadians could feel a sense of ultra-nationalism. Say what you will about right-wing conservative wackos, but they really do know how to take nationalistic pride to a whole new level of crazy. Wouldn't it be great to read the ultimate patriotic comic book for Canadian nationalism? I would love to see Wolverine wrap himself in a Canadian flag to hold off the bleeding wounds that cover his body as he lashes out at the last of Canada's many enemies. It's time for Wolverine to take his rightful spot alongside Celine Dion as the champion for Canadian values. That's a Wolverine story worth telling!

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Spring Break Reading, Part 1 - Mighty Marvel Round-Up

by Brandon

Ever get behind on your comic book reading? I'm not just talking a handful of issues gathering dust on your nightstand. This type of "behind" would be largely the size of, oh, maybe a long box and a half. That's the situation I currently have before me. The stresses of work, planning a wedding, and just every day life have plagued my ability to catch up on my reading. Add to the mix some very large runs that I've been able to buy on the cheap lately and you have a massive problem. But have no fear, Spring Break 2009 is finally here! While most of my students are probably off having wild, teenager-style adventures involving fumbling sexual antics and wine coolers in exotic tropical locales, their teacher has voluntarily sat this Spring Break out to catch up on reading comic books. I'm taking one for the team and catching up on a load of reading. Fasten your seat belts! This is going to be a long ride Here are some pellet reviews of the books that have crossed my path thus far during Spring Break 2009.


Dark Tower: Treachery #'s 1-6
When I finished the book series, I was pretty bummed about the lackluster ending. I had my own feelings of trepidation when the comic books were announced. However, I have been surprised at how much I have enjoyed these minis thus far. Treachery helps shed some light on a few important events in Roland's youth as a young gunslinger. In this volume, we readers get to see how his mother's infidelities are dealt with in full. I won't spoil the plot, but Peter David and Robin Firth have successfully translated the world of the Dark Tower to comic books. I hope they will continue this series beyond these origin tales. Maybe that will make up for the crappy ending to the book series.

Uncanny X-Men #'s 506-507
Of late, I've heard the X-Men creative intelligentsia frequently say that the X-books don't require teams anymore because... because... um... well... because... We've moved past that point in history. ... Did I get that right, X-creators? Anyway, the focus of the X-Books is pretty much anything goes. That must mean quality too because ever since Manifest Destiny started, Uncanny X-Men has been uncannily boring. The art is pretty. The writing is decent. The total package is just dull, dull, dull, dull. Perhaps having a more cohesive team and roster for the book would help give it some focus. Oh, and get the X-Men out of San Francisco. It just isn't working. Sorry guys.

X-Men Legacy #'s 221-222
On the other hand, the X-men Legacy title has been killer. Two of my favorite X-Men are taking center stage for this arc, Gambit and Rogue. Both characters seem to have found a writer that can actually make them interesting without hamming each character up. Gosh, those accents just beg for it, I know, but Mike Carey makes these characters work so well. It's sad to think the Professor X story is ending since it has been a welcome return of the character's relevance to the pages of the X-books. For the first time in at least two decades, Xavier is an interesting character who isn't just a figurehead or out-and-out bastard. Kudos to Carey and teh rest of the Legacy team for making this one of the best X-books in years!

Wolverine: Manifest Destiny #4
Eh. This was the best thing I've read thus far from the Manifest Destiny titles. That's not a ringing endorsement though. This is a fairly forgettable Wolverine story. There are tons of those out there too. This story just happens to be inoffensive enough to be forgettable.

Ghost Rider #33
On one side of the coin, this issue was awesome just because of the sheer number of Ghost Riders it covers and shows. It sets up a fascinating backdrop for future exploration. On the flip side of the coin, this issue was pretty much a throwaway story that has no real meat to it. I'm glad the new Caretaker has decided to keep the fight going. Good job, Caretaker. But, um, was there any doubt that this would be the case? It's like having Superman handed his ass to him by some bit bad guy. Of course Superman is going to go whip his ass for that. Duh. Do we need to have a whole issue history lesson and pep talk to rev us up for that from a largely uninteresting character?

Squadron Supreme #'s 8-9
The first part of this series started off as a dud, but the last couple of issues have been great. Why? The Squadron is actually here instead of these new losers that Chaykin rolled out in the first arc. So the series has significantly improved with the return of Hyperion et al. Therefore, Marvel has to cancel this series. Oh well. Maybe this universe won't be totally forgotten, but I have a small voice inside that tells me it's done.

Daredevil #'s 116-117
This is an example of the "been there, done that" school of comic books, but it's so damn well written you almost want to forgive Brubaker & Co. for bringing back Kingpin. Almost. The first part to "Return of the King" actually works really well, but the second part feels like a retread of Kingpin/Daredevil truces of the past. At first, I was a bit sad that this creative team was moving on, but now I think maybe it's time. Note to future Daredevil writers; when you start wanting to bring back Kingpin, it's time to move on. Maybe there's an X-book you could write?

The Invincible Iron Man #'s 11-12
I have to admit that Invincible Iron Man is the first monthly Iron Man title I have ever read, but I'm really enjoying the hell out of it. Tony Stark is on the run and doing a nice tour of the Marvel Universe to boot. I didn't read Secret Invasion and am trying to avoid any Dark Reign stuff outside of the titles I usually read, but fans get a large dose of "Osborn won, get over it" here in this title. The art is absolutely gorgeous. It's hard to believe that this is the Salvador Larroca that drew some other, fairly ho-hum titles in the past.

Punisher #3
Already three issues into the new title and Remender is already doing a better job at it than Fraction did with War Journal. I already wrote about this a bit in my last Panelology article, but this is a quality title. However, I think Remender and other Marvel creators are wrong when they say Punisher doesn't have to be taking out these big fish he's gunning after. Um, that's what the Punisher does. He kills bad guys. End of discussion. If he's not doing that, then what's the point? That's why many people are attracted to the character. If you want an antihero that shows mercy, read Batman., If you want people killed like chumps, read Punisher. Next.

Ultimatum #3
Here's a little math to start off this review; Gory + shocking ≠ a good comic book. This series is almost a mockery of the Ultimate concept. Here's Marvels thinking; let's bastardize the core concept that this isn't the Marvel Universe by just killing off all this characters. It will be frickin' great! And shocking too! The only problem here is that it isn't good and it's tying the hands of future Ultimate stories. Oops, that characters dead. Screw it. Marvel is killing more than their Ultimate stable of characters. They are killing my interest. If enough fans are like me, that could be the most damaging death in this whole Ultimatum mess.


Ultimate Spider-Man #131
Despite the whole Ultimatum fiasco being just ridiculous, Ultimate Spider-Man still manages to make lemonade out of lemons. This isn't a great story by comparison to others that have appeared in this title, but it's still entertaining. The Hulk scenes were fun. But why didn't they kill Aunt May? Marvel's killing everyone else. Her ass has got to go in some Universe. Why not here?

Ultimate Fantastic Four #60 & Ultimate X-Men #100
I'm lumping these two titles together because Ultimatum has become a mercy killing for both of these titles. It seems that ever since Marvel decided to go with this Ultimatum mess, the creators of both of these titles have been farting around just waiting for the axe to fall. And it shows. The quality of both of these titles is poor, and that's being kind. Maybe they will come back in some form, but let's hope they can find some A-list creators to write solid stories, not just stories that will occupy space on the comic shelf monthly.

Ultimate Wolverine vs. Hulk #3
Late? Yes. Worth the wait? Probably not. Decent? Yeah, I guess. While an entertaining read, I breezed through this issue like the Flash on cocaine. This is what we waited so long for? Lindelof had problems writing this? Really? Entertaining, but hardly worth the wait.

That's it for now. Check back tomorrow for the Dark Horse and Wildstorm reviews!
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