Summer Reading, pt. 4

by Brandon

There are three essentials for my summer vacation; relaxation, napping, and comic books. Fortunately for you, I just talk about comic books here. My Summer Reading series continues with reviews of Iron Man, Punisher, Ultimate Spider-Man, Daredevil, X-Men Legacy, Squadron Supreme, Captain America: Reborn, The End League, Star Wars Legacy and Knights of the Old Republic. About half of the books hit, whereas the other half missed. Find out who performed above and below expectations by reading on!


Captain America: Reborn #1
I haven't been keeping up with Captain America at all. I know he was killed a few years ago in the Civil War crossover. I know he's coming back. What do I care, right? A few of the Bad Genious guys were talking about this issue the other day and the method for Captain America's return just sounded so incredulous and out there that i just had to read it to believe it. They were correct; Captain America was hit with some type of magic bullet that made him unstuck in time. This was a pretty big "WTF" moment for me too. From all accounts, Brubaker's run has been pretty grounded. This magically delicious approach to bringing Captain America back just feels wrong. The issue was decent enough, but the series as a whole is not worth keeping up with for $3.99 a pop.

Daredevil #119
Daredevil's life continues to reflect some Bizarro-esque emo song. We find Matt Murdoch whinny here (suprise, surprise) as his alliance with Kingpin becomes stickier than he planned (surprise, surprise). I feel a strong sense of deja vu that all of this has happened before. I think Kingpin has become a "no-fly zone" for Daredevil writers for at least another 100 issues. Every Kingpin story has seemingly been done before. These Daredevil and Kingpin stories practically write themselves now and that's not a good thing. Wilson Fisk is being used in the upcoming PunisherMax series. Let's hope Jason Aaron finds a better way to use the Kingpin character because at this point he's pretty much a time killer.

Invincible Iron Man #14
With this issue, the "World's Most Wanted" story has stayed past its welcome. How long can we read about Tony being on the run? How long can we watch Norman Osborne harass the no ironclad Pepper Potts? How many Iron Man costumes does Tony Stark having lying around to wear now? Don't get me wrong, this title is expertly written. Of the titles I've read from Matt Fraction, this has been consistently his best. Salvador Larroca's art is superb as well, much improved over his days in the X-Universe. However, this Dark Reign business in general just seems to be chugging along with no end in sight. I can see Fraction scratching his head as he comes up with new ways to to make Tony run due to some editorial mandate stating that Iron Man has to continue to be on the run while Dark Reign plays out for the rest of the calendar year. The "hero on the run" story has been done quite a bit in the last few years and this offers nothing new to the concept.


Punisher #6
The Hood really has it out for poor ol' Frank. Can't a vigilante just kill the bad guys and be done with it? Apparently not. The Hood resurrects a whole gaggle of d-list villains with the charge of taking out Frank Castle, your friendly neighborhood Punisher. Reading a comic where Punisher is forced to take out d-listers is not really my idea of a great Punisher comic book. I'm sure someone, somewhere, is excited by all these crap villains being resurrected. I hope the one Basilisk fan out there creamed his jeans. But for the rest of us, plowing through the d-lister source book provided at the end of this issue was just torture. I'm sure Frank will come up with all sorts of inventive ways to blow away these chumps, but why does it matter? The Hood can presumably just bring them back again. Kind of makes you wish for the golden days of Frank acing crack dealers, doesn't it? Like Iron Man, the writing here is solid and the art is great. But I just want something more, something better for Punisher. Garth Ennis brought about a revitalization of the character. It seems that goodwill is going to be gambled away on the hope that people want to read about Punisher interacting with people who wear capes and funny tights. Anyone who read Punisher under Ennis know that's just not the case.

Squadron Supreme #12
My prediction a few weeks ago about this series ending on a thud was correct. There was so much potential here for a good story, but that was all wasted. The original Squadron Supreme, the characters we all cared about, are pretty much ignored for much of this issue. Instead, we get to revisit the lame characters Chaykin created in the first six issues that no one, and I do mean no one, cares about. Those characters that do remain become powerless, rendering this universe pretty much dead for the foreseeable future. To add insult to injury, Ultimate Nick Fury is still trapped in this universe with no real resolution as to how he gets out. I hope Ultimatum will provide a satisfactory answer. In teh final analysis, this series just served to highlight the failure of Marvel and J. Michael Straczynski to get their act together and publish a decent end to this series. An ending that these characters deserved.


Ultimatum: Spider-Man Requiem #1
I promise this won't turn into my usual anti-Ultimatum rant. Of all the issues to come out of Ultimatum, this first issue of the two planned Spider-Man Requiem was the best thus far. Granted, this issue was a flashback issue featuring a fun story where Spider-Man helps Tony Stark out when Hydra decides to bust into his office building. As per usual, Bendis was on his A-game with this character. For all of the perceived faults Bendis has in his writing, there's no denying an electricity when he writes this title character. It's evident to the reader that he enjoys writing Ultimate Spider-Man stories and that the character works best when not involved with soul-crushing crossovers like Ultimatum. Bagley and Immonen also turn in great art for this issue. It's sad to think that Ultimate Spider-Man may be MIA from his own title in the coming months, but if the creative team can get back into the groove, Ultimate Spider-Man will once again become the premier Ultimate title.

X-Men Legacy #225
Mike Carey expertly puts an an end to the long Xavier Legacy arc. I've enjoyed this titles Xavier-centric focus in the last couple of years. Mike Carey has made Legacy one of the more thoughtful and well written X-books while exploring the theme of Xavier's redemption. This issue works as a lovely conclusion to that and offers a hint as to where the series will go from here. Xavier shows he's no louse by evenhandedly invading the Acolytes' hangout and defeating them without much of a fight. Professor Xavier is kind of a lame character, but Carey reinvented him as a brainy powerhouse who is not to be trifled with. It is my hope that this isn't the last we see of Professor Xavier in this type of context. I would hate to see him float back to his old digs of being the dead weight of the X-universe. As this chapter closes on Legacy and the Rogue chapter begins, one can't help but feel a sense of wonder at what Carey has accomplished. Kudos to Mike Carey. I hope we'll see more great stuff out of this title in its second chapter.

The End League #8
Damn. This book is still ending, isn't it? With every issue that comes out of this title, I want more. There's just so much going on in this title that it can't possibly end next issue. It just can't. Clones of Astonishman have captured Soldier American and Blur Gil and are attempting to find the Hammer of Thor. A team of heroes rush to get the Hammer of Thor before the Smiling Man picks it up. Alas, it appears that all engines are go for the final issue in #9. The pace of the storytelling is picking up, which is fine, but I hope everything gets a satisfactory conclusion next issue. There are a lot of plot lines floating out there. How can they possibly be wrapped up without leaving the reader feeling cheated? I don't think Remender can do it. So, um, Mr. Remender, please come back as soon as possible to this book as soon as possible. Please?


Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic#42
The moment many KoTOR fans have been waiting for finally arrived in this issue. The rogue Jedi Knight Revan, who eventually adds the title of "Darth" out front, makes his appearance here. We get a small, but important origin story for Revan here as related to the reader and Zayne's gang by future Sith Lord Malak. There is a killer fight here between Malak and Mandalorian Rohlan that has been boiling up for a while. The gears of war are4 just getting started, and with appearances by Revan and Malak here, the reader gets a sense that things are about to go from bad to worse for our fair adventurers. Miller turns in a solid, action-packed script that many fans have been begging for since the first issue of the series. There's no hyperbole involved there either; go back and read the earliest letter columns to find people begging for Revan to show up. I think this appearance will only ramp up demands for more Revan, especially as the video game Star Wars: The Old Republic promises to not finish the story set up in KoTOR's 1 & 2.

Star Wars Legacy #37
Legacy continues to be not only one of the best ongoing Star Wars titles out now, but ranks amongst the best ever published. Why? This issue exemplifies all that is right with Legacy and all that works with a good Star Wars story. Cade Skywalker continues to walk the fine line between scoundrel and hero, mixing equal parts of Han Solo and Anakin Skywalker seamlessly. We find Cade leading the crew of the Mynock on a mission to rob Imperials. We also find ample amounts of intrigue within the remnants of the Empire. While the galaxy at large does not know the true fate of Darth Krayt, buzz around the Empire has all the Moffs in a tizzy. Add in the appearance of Bounty Hunters at the end, and you have a fun read for any Star wars fan. It's a simple equation; Skywalker + scruffy looking scoundrels + Bounty Hunters + Sith + Imperial Forces = great Star Wars story. Legacy has great writing from John Ostrander that is backed up by consistently great art from Jan Duursema. These two creators are woefully ignored when it comes to "great" modern comic book runs.
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Summer Reading, pt. 1

by Brandon

Summer. This is the comic book fan's season for catching up and enjoying a good, geeky book while one should be outside instead. Jenn remarked last week while on our honeymoon, "How did comic books end up coming on our honeymoon?" Well, the answer really does boggle the mind; I packed them in a backpack and brought them with us. I made full use of the quiet setting of Sound off Kitty Hawk, North Carolina to catch up on some reading. Some of the titles are old, some are new, but they all get a little review from me here.

Grendel War Child #'s 1-10
Though this book takes place chronologically far beyond what I've read to thus far in the Grendel series (chapters 41-50, whereas I just entered the teens in my regular Grendel reading), I decided to give this miniseries a go since I picked it up for a buck a couple of weeks ago. It turned out to be a fairly accessible read, but not just in terms of Wagner's writing, but also the helpful recap pages at the front of the book and two-page review pages in the back of each issue which successfully and succinctly explained the entire history of the printed Grendel up to that point. Grendel Prime, the protagonist of this story, turned out to be a very effective Grendel. What he lacked in Hunter Rose's flamboyance, he made up for in true grit. This was a great miniseries and highly recommended, especially if you can find it on the cheap like I did.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars #6
No real trip would be complete without having read something in the Star Wars realm. Unfortunately, this last issue in the first Clone Wars arc was very disappointing. While the story of stopping intergalactic slavery would be interesting in, say, the 1860s, it just seemed a bit odd for a focus here. I realize Anakin was a slave, but the story's heavy "gee, this is soooooooo wrong" tilt from the beginning was a nonstarter. Of course slavery is wrong. Do we need six issues of action packed preaching to deliver that point home? This first arc was in no way as engaging as the first season of the television show. Maybe it will pick up soon, but if the second arc doesn't grab me, this book will be on the chopping block.

Justice League America #'s 46-50 (Glory Bound)& Annual #4 (JL Antarctica)
I'm almost finished with my rereading of the classic JLI from Giffen and DeMatteis. I have thoroughly enjoyed every issue and arc of JLI up until the Glory Bound arc found in issues 46-50. The first issue involving Guy Gardner going to a comic book convention was good, but the rest of the story fell flat. Much of the fun about the arc I suppose was to be derived from poking fun at the Captain America pastiche General Glory. The only catch was that... it just wasn't funny. Annual #4, however, was an excellent issue of the series that introduced the Antarctica branch of the JLI. The ineffective Injustice League and Gnort get assigned to patrol Antarctica and protect it from flesh-eating penguins. It was zany fun despite the fact that Gnort was featured so heavily. My only complaint really about this latter era of JLI is the fact that Booster Gold was MIA. He and Blue Beetle really made this title great. Despite my small grievances, this title really has rejuvenated my interest in the comic book medium. The JLI books have been fun to read. I feel old saying this, but they just don't make them like that anymore.

Justice League Europe #'s 23-28 & Annual #2
Of the various JLI books, JLE was the one I was most wary about reading, but it has in fact been one of the most enjoyable. The mix of action and Bwah-ha-ha is perfect in this title. Plus, it features some of the more consistently interesting JLI members; Captain Atom, Flash, Elongated Man, Power Girl and her cat, Rocket Red, and Metamorpho. Whereas the JLA title seemed to spend more time goofing around the embassy, JLE seemed to get out more and, you know, handle bad guys. Whether it was fighting huge works controlled by a league of captains of industry (issues 23-25) or fighting off Starro yet again (issues 26-28), this particular incarnation of the league was always fun and effective in their own little way. Any story that can make Starro seem not lame is a good story. Along with the above JLA issues, these issues can be found for ridiculously cheap prices, most likely less than a buck an issue. They are well worth your time to seek out.

Hero Squared #'s 1-3 & Special #1
Speaking of J.M. DeMatteis and Keith Giffen, someone recommended Hero Squared to me a while back. I bought the original miniseries and X-tra Sized special to try it out. While it was funny in many parts, I just don't see how this story could be sustained over a long period of time. It seems pretty finite to me. I'm glad to see that there are only nine issues after these initial four remaining because I just don't see the concept really stretching too far. It was a fun read, but if someone were inclined to want to check this creative team out, they would be much better served by seeking out the JLI titles.



Ultimate Hulk vs. Wolverine #6
Wow... that was a letdown. We waited for that? Seriously? While the Nick Fury part at the end was solid, the rest was lackluster, and that's being kind. A Wolverine and Hulk miniseries should be cool. It should be grandiose and over the top. This miniseries started off with a bang, but ended on a barely audible thud.






Ultimate Spider-Man #132
Did you read the above review? Kinda sucky. Well, that's pretty much my opinion of this issue too. It's been no secret that I think Ultimatum has been dreadful, but this is just crap. Ultimate Spider-Man was one of the best titles Marvel had going. It wasn't groundbreaking, but it was always consistent. Now that it has been mucked up by all this Ultimatum junk, it has become almost unreadable. Thanks, Marvel.


The Invincible Iron Man #13
Hmmm. Interesting. I have never read a regular, monthly Iron Man comic in my life, but something compelled me to pick this title up last summer and I've been enjoying it ever since. While I think this "Most Wanted" story arc has been going on for too long, I think Fraction is slowly building up to a boiling point that will be amazing. The inevitable confrontation with Norman Osborn should be the most exciting comic Marvel produces in this whole Dark Reign business, but that's up to how well Fraction and the other frame it. If you look at Invincible Iron Man, it looks like it will be explosive. Kudos on both the writing and art here. This is by far one of the best titles Marvel is producing now.

Daredevil #118
I believe it was King George the Third who wrote in his diary on July 4, 1776 that "nothing much happened today." The same could be said for this issue. Is it just me, or has Daredevil become to whiny lately? It just kind of drones on and on and on. We get to see Daredevil brood for much of the issue, which is highly original. For those who are a poor judge of sarcasm, that was definitely sarcasm. I want to read Daredevil stories that are exciting crime dramas, not emo-like pity sessions where Matt muses about how shitty his life has become. Get over it. That Daredevil story has been written at least eighty times. Let's move on, shall we?

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Spring Break Reading, Part 1 - Mighty Marvel Round-Up

by Brandon

Ever get behind on your comic book reading? I'm not just talking a handful of issues gathering dust on your nightstand. This type of "behind" would be largely the size of, oh, maybe a long box and a half. That's the situation I currently have before me. The stresses of work, planning a wedding, and just every day life have plagued my ability to catch up on my reading. Add to the mix some very large runs that I've been able to buy on the cheap lately and you have a massive problem. But have no fear, Spring Break 2009 is finally here! While most of my students are probably off having wild, teenager-style adventures involving fumbling sexual antics and wine coolers in exotic tropical locales, their teacher has voluntarily sat this Spring Break out to catch up on reading comic books. I'm taking one for the team and catching up on a load of reading. Fasten your seat belts! This is going to be a long ride Here are some pellet reviews of the books that have crossed my path thus far during Spring Break 2009.


Dark Tower: Treachery #'s 1-6
When I finished the book series, I was pretty bummed about the lackluster ending. I had my own feelings of trepidation when the comic books were announced. However, I have been surprised at how much I have enjoyed these minis thus far. Treachery helps shed some light on a few important events in Roland's youth as a young gunslinger. In this volume, we readers get to see how his mother's infidelities are dealt with in full. I won't spoil the plot, but Peter David and Robin Firth have successfully translated the world of the Dark Tower to comic books. I hope they will continue this series beyond these origin tales. Maybe that will make up for the crappy ending to the book series.

Uncanny X-Men #'s 506-507
Of late, I've heard the X-Men creative intelligentsia frequently say that the X-books don't require teams anymore because... because... um... well... because... We've moved past that point in history. ... Did I get that right, X-creators? Anyway, the focus of the X-Books is pretty much anything goes. That must mean quality too because ever since Manifest Destiny started, Uncanny X-Men has been uncannily boring. The art is pretty. The writing is decent. The total package is just dull, dull, dull, dull. Perhaps having a more cohesive team and roster for the book would help give it some focus. Oh, and get the X-Men out of San Francisco. It just isn't working. Sorry guys.

X-Men Legacy #'s 221-222
On the other hand, the X-men Legacy title has been killer. Two of my favorite X-Men are taking center stage for this arc, Gambit and Rogue. Both characters seem to have found a writer that can actually make them interesting without hamming each character up. Gosh, those accents just beg for it, I know, but Mike Carey makes these characters work so well. It's sad to think the Professor X story is ending since it has been a welcome return of the character's relevance to the pages of the X-books. For the first time in at least two decades, Xavier is an interesting character who isn't just a figurehead or out-and-out bastard. Kudos to Carey and teh rest of the Legacy team for making this one of the best X-books in years!

Wolverine: Manifest Destiny #4
Eh. This was the best thing I've read thus far from the Manifest Destiny titles. That's not a ringing endorsement though. This is a fairly forgettable Wolverine story. There are tons of those out there too. This story just happens to be inoffensive enough to be forgettable.

Ghost Rider #33
On one side of the coin, this issue was awesome just because of the sheer number of Ghost Riders it covers and shows. It sets up a fascinating backdrop for future exploration. On the flip side of the coin, this issue was pretty much a throwaway story that has no real meat to it. I'm glad the new Caretaker has decided to keep the fight going. Good job, Caretaker. But, um, was there any doubt that this would be the case? It's like having Superman handed his ass to him by some bit bad guy. Of course Superman is going to go whip his ass for that. Duh. Do we need to have a whole issue history lesson and pep talk to rev us up for that from a largely uninteresting character?

Squadron Supreme #'s 8-9
The first part of this series started off as a dud, but the last couple of issues have been great. Why? The Squadron is actually here instead of these new losers that Chaykin rolled out in the first arc. So the series has significantly improved with the return of Hyperion et al. Therefore, Marvel has to cancel this series. Oh well. Maybe this universe won't be totally forgotten, but I have a small voice inside that tells me it's done.

Daredevil #'s 116-117
This is an example of the "been there, done that" school of comic books, but it's so damn well written you almost want to forgive Brubaker & Co. for bringing back Kingpin. Almost. The first part to "Return of the King" actually works really well, but the second part feels like a retread of Kingpin/Daredevil truces of the past. At first, I was a bit sad that this creative team was moving on, but now I think maybe it's time. Note to future Daredevil writers; when you start wanting to bring back Kingpin, it's time to move on. Maybe there's an X-book you could write?

The Invincible Iron Man #'s 11-12
I have to admit that Invincible Iron Man is the first monthly Iron Man title I have ever read, but I'm really enjoying the hell out of it. Tony Stark is on the run and doing a nice tour of the Marvel Universe to boot. I didn't read Secret Invasion and am trying to avoid any Dark Reign stuff outside of the titles I usually read, but fans get a large dose of "Osborn won, get over it" here in this title. The art is absolutely gorgeous. It's hard to believe that this is the Salvador Larroca that drew some other, fairly ho-hum titles in the past.

Punisher #3
Already three issues into the new title and Remender is already doing a better job at it than Fraction did with War Journal. I already wrote about this a bit in my last Panelology article, but this is a quality title. However, I think Remender and other Marvel creators are wrong when they say Punisher doesn't have to be taking out these big fish he's gunning after. Um, that's what the Punisher does. He kills bad guys. End of discussion. If he's not doing that, then what's the point? That's why many people are attracted to the character. If you want an antihero that shows mercy, read Batman., If you want people killed like chumps, read Punisher. Next.

Ultimatum #3
Here's a little math to start off this review; Gory + shocking ≠ a good comic book. This series is almost a mockery of the Ultimate concept. Here's Marvels thinking; let's bastardize the core concept that this isn't the Marvel Universe by just killing off all this characters. It will be frickin' great! And shocking too! The only problem here is that it isn't good and it's tying the hands of future Ultimate stories. Oops, that characters dead. Screw it. Marvel is killing more than their Ultimate stable of characters. They are killing my interest. If enough fans are like me, that could be the most damaging death in this whole Ultimatum mess.


Ultimate Spider-Man #131
Despite the whole Ultimatum fiasco being just ridiculous, Ultimate Spider-Man still manages to make lemonade out of lemons. This isn't a great story by comparison to others that have appeared in this title, but it's still entertaining. The Hulk scenes were fun. But why didn't they kill Aunt May? Marvel's killing everyone else. Her ass has got to go in some Universe. Why not here?

Ultimate Fantastic Four #60 & Ultimate X-Men #100
I'm lumping these two titles together because Ultimatum has become a mercy killing for both of these titles. It seems that ever since Marvel decided to go with this Ultimatum mess, the creators of both of these titles have been farting around just waiting for the axe to fall. And it shows. The quality of both of these titles is poor, and that's being kind. Maybe they will come back in some form, but let's hope they can find some A-list creators to write solid stories, not just stories that will occupy space on the comic shelf monthly.

Ultimate Wolverine vs. Hulk #3
Late? Yes. Worth the wait? Probably not. Decent? Yeah, I guess. While an entertaining read, I breezed through this issue like the Flash on cocaine. This is what we waited so long for? Lindelof had problems writing this? Really? Entertaining, but hardly worth the wait.

That's it for now. Check back tomorrow for the Dark Horse and Wildstorm reviews!
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Daredevil: The Man Without Ambition

by Rory, the Bad Genious Procrastinator

Daredevil - the Man Without Fear! Daredevil – the Blind Hero! Daredevil – Lawyer by day, Vigilante by Night! Daredevil – Protector of Hell’s Kitchen! Dare---

Wait, what? Protector of Hell’s Kitchen? As a resident of this lovely area of Manhattan, I just gotta say – you are setting the bar a little low there, double D. This regional restriction brings up two big questions for the man of many Ms.

1. Why just Hell’s Kitchen?

For those of you unfamiliar with New York City, the town is broken up into quaint sectors that serve the purpose of creating broad stereotypes about the people who live there. Hell’s Kitchen is one such district, spanning from 34th Street to 59th street (which is Madison Square Garden to Central Park) and 8th Avenue to the Hudson River.

Yup, that’s it. Under 30 blocks, and a couple of avenues. Really, Daredevil, don’t hurt yourself on your 2 hour patrols. Other super heroes protect entire cities, countries, and even universes. But, hey, keep a close touch on your 2 square miles. We’re all very impressed.

And furthermore, what happens if the criminals, you know, flee? Does he chase criminals until they hit Chelsea, pause, and then dust his hands off and say “Well, my work here is done”? But these are just minor foibles, compared to big question numero dos:

2. What threats are there in Hell’s Kitchen?

Now, I know I may be jinxing myself when writing this, and will probably get mugged later tonight. There’s still a lot of crime in the city, but things have really been cleaned up since the 1980s. Here are some of the common dangers that Daredevil probably faces nightly.

• Bums

Ah, the homeless. The spice of New York. Now, just to be clear – I don’t see all bums as threats. There are some that are picking aluminum cans out of the trash – a vital public service. Others entertain by singing on the subway or concocting tales of needing $3.25 for a bus ticket. And then there are some screaming about the radio signals in their heads. Fun!

However, there are others constantly giving you the stink eye. If you are a girl, you may be hounded by cat-calls as you walk down the street (in other neighborhoods of Manhattan, guys may also have the same concern). Compounded with the fact that many of these dilapidated fellows are veterans, there may be some need for a super-hero, but this is amateur hour. Threat Level: 5




• Drunk College Kids

Loud, belligerent, and amorous - you will find this vile creature staggering out of all bars and clubs between two and four in the wee hours of the night. Home of John Jay College, this area still sees its share of the Columbia elites and NYU vagrants. But, this is small potatoes for a super-hero. Daredevil should easily be able to break up quarrels between Yankees and Mets fans while holding back a freshman’s hair as she pukes on the sidewalk. Threat Level: 1




• Air smells mysteriously like weed

I’m blaming this on the college kids, too. It’s hard to get more than a few blocks anywhere in this area without the aroma hitting you – and with Daredevil’s heightened senses, he’ll be walking around with a second-hand high all day long. (Now that I think about it, it really explains Stephon Marbury’s behavior since getting traded to the Knicks). Anyway, this will definitely impede Mr. Murdock’s war on crime. Threat Level: 4.20

• Litterbugs

If you visit Manhattan, I must warn you – do your best to avoid walking near a McDonald’s. You will pass so many discarded wrappers, boxes, and other assorted food-stuffs. Basically, it looks like a fat man exploded. I will never understand why people just throw their trash anywhere. I will also never understand why people choose to wear flip-flops when walking around the city. Did they lose a bet, or are they trying to do research on all the various types of ugly foot fungi you can find in the Big Apple? Threat level: 2

• Dancing street gangs

Probably hanging near the Alvin Ailey dance center, these roving gangs of finger-snapping hoodlums will terrorize you with their knife fights and make you question your sexuality with their catchy numbers. Daredevil, however, will find no trouble going Officer Krupke on their asses.Threat level: 3

• Hand Ninjas

OK, these guys are just dicks. They never die. They create foul smelling smoke every time you try to kill them. They leave the toilet seat up. Every time they sip their coffee, they go "AHHHHH" really loudly. They tell the most boring stories that go nowhere and are a total buzzkill. These guys are bad news bears. Threat Level: 6

Conclusion

Well, I'm all out of bullet points (my gun has no bullets). At this point, it's clear: Daredevil isn't fooling anyone. He takes the road of least resistance for super-heroes - protecting the smallest area out of any super-hero. And what does he get? Tons of money as a lawyer, every hot chick in the Marvel Universe, and the reputation as the "Man Without Fear." But remember, I have shown you...that a man without ambition is a man without fear.

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